***** off the top, and crawl inside my head.

Not gooey brains, but traffic lanes,

Is what you’ll find instead.

Whizzing past,

Honking horns.

Thoughts of music, thoughts of ****.

Not all is good,

It’s usually bad.

Mad and Sad are the ones I’ve had.

The cars have halted.

There’s been a jam.

Been called a sham.

For who I am.

The lights are out.

Here come the cops.

The thinking process

must never stop.

So there they are.

The cars,

They run.

Thoughts of coffee. Thoughts of fun.

They sit around.

Now ****** and bored.

Wait a minute, what could that be?

On all the windshields,

The water did pour.

It rained and rained

And rained some more.

Because outside the city,

The City of The Brain.

The boy’s eyes, not watered at all.

It’s what he had restrained.

I have been disillusioned by the faces that I’ve met.
It took some time to notice
The fixed gazes, plastered smiles,
And practiced conversation.
I could never understand
Why they felt so alien.
Why, after hours of standing in the mirror, manipulating,
I still could not achieve the fixed gaze, geared towards success.
The plastered smile, free of stress.
The practiced conversation, never questioning.
I could not reflect what I had been lead to believe,
makes one human.
If humanity was foreign,
I was the alien, lost.
Perhaps I was a changeling.
They took the healthy child, those wicked Fae,
And left me in her stead.
But I am no fox among hens.
I have created a mold,
Borrowed eyes that never stray,
Carved a smile that never fades,
And echoed every conversation.
I have been disillusioned by the faces that I’ve met,
And none have been more deceiving
Than my own.

we never want to see
our child die before us
and we still pray to precede them
after seeing them die many times
                *
you've died right before my eyes
too many times for me to count

God knows i wasn't prepared this time
to see that glazed look in your eyes
with lids that i couldn't close
as they slammed upon tears that fell like stone

crashing upon brittle locks
that shattered like illusions installed
to protect my little girl from a ******
weakened by a familiar predator
that God knew long before
we ever joined to color by numbers

each recanting of you being pushed down
then smothered by the dead weight of ****
started a death rattle so pronounced
that i reached out to leave with you

God knows we will make it through this
as you psychologically pass from me once again
to mourn aside a grave marked for this event
on the eve of the sunrise of your empowerment.

Take your heavy hand
And reach into my chest.
Break the skin
And tear my ribs apart.
When you find my heart,
Don’t stop.
Dig your fingertips into
The deepest ventricle
And pull to the surface
All my insecurities.
Every
Single
One.
Leave none behind
As it will not be able
To fester
Like the others;
As it will not be able to
Turn my eyes
Black
To the world;
As it will not be able to
Spark the fire
That needs to
Burn
My
Flesh
So that you may
Feed.
So that you may feed
Off my fallen tears
And the contaminated blood
That peaks your arousal.
And when you are full,
Toss my body aside
With no “thank you”
On your tongue
And move on
To the next.
But before you go,
Know,
That I would do it
All over again.

When out of a clear sky, the bright

Sky over Japan, they tumbled the

death of light,

For a moment, it's said, there was

brilliance sword-sharp,

A dazzle of white, and then dark.

Into the cavernous blackness, as

home to hell,

Agonies crowded; and high above

in the swell

Of the gentle tide of the sky, lucid

and fair,

Men floated serenely as angels

disporting there.

Hello, dad, how are you? He replies
“it’s a big dog”
Eyes rimmed in folds of ocher skin swim
Sliding over a sterile room

The little yellow band has the word risk on it
And a purple blotch consumes one cheek
And the nurse says that he quakes and shakes in anger
He sneaks from his quarters
Where’re you going?
“nowhere”

And he’s never been so thin,
Looking like a melting candle, sinking into the bed
Like he was just another blanket
Made of skin

The nurse was convinced he was watching
Watching Star Trek after Wild Wild West
“what’s happening on there?”
Captain Kirk and that alien lady swapped bodies
Captain Kirk is trapped inside another body

Trapped- nobody believes him, but he’s trapped
Confined, a strong and powerful man
Inside the frail body of an alien female.
And it’s horrible, nobody listens to him
Nobody can understand.

We’re gonna go now, okay?
“i l-lurmph, i-“
But his mouth won’t listen and
The drug-thick blood in his brain isn’t helping
Okay, bye, dad. I love you.

And maybe if she holds the loving hand on his head long enough
He’ll finally let his whirling eyes rest
And with hope she whispers to a fragmented mind
Maybe the angels will listen.
Visit the angels for a while, dad, they’ll help you sleep.