I shouldn't be forced to live in this ****** up world.. it's no fair.

No one understands
Not even a lil bit
I'm always the mean stuck up *****
No one really knows
no one comments on the nice feelings i show
you see i yelled at a boy who wouldn't get out my face.
But i also gave five dollars to another body earlier that day.
But guess what the talks about?
About how i just snapped and tried to hurt him.
but if i just cry in side I'm acting different. Take some steps in my shoes.
Just take a couple.. take your time because it's double the trouble because your not used to being alone your used to having dinner server when you arrive home

I know this girl with red bouncy curls
she's the nicest person in the world.
She does for people who doesn't do for her.
Shes a positive soul who speaks positive words.
she's perfection. I swear she is,
wait till she has a perfect husband.. and has perfect kids.
she's a wonderful gal who drinks tea and does homework.
she's my bestfriend, & i love her.

You don't know me but let's act like you do.
When you say you love me I'll say I'll love you to.
Lets fake it until we make it, i guess.

I really want you to miss me.
Not "imu" but "i miss you lene"
I want you to notice that I'm gone.
Because you frustrate me but your never@home
But see when i am.. its nunu shutup ****!
Is get out my face do the ****** dishes.
It's not my fault you're hungry.
Well it's not my fault you don't have money.
If you didn't want a kid why did u have me?
I woulda been happier to be in a basked..
Awaiting for a stranger to see me on his doorstep.
Because you see that silence hurts when i tell you something important.
You see they say I'm loud at school but at home she's unwanted..

Im just supposed to like you ?
Naah im good.
Not to put u down or mess with your man hood.
not to sound conceited or stuck up.
But if you hear lies your whole life you would do the same stuff.
That sweet talking **** is nothing.
The hi beautiful , what are you doing ?
The i love you but i don't really know you.
The im not like other guys let me show you.
You all are using the same lines. The same foolish ****. The same pointless lies.
But .. guess what ? I've finally learned the game
You know the one where u "like" us but we end up getting played? The one where you play with are minds until we catch feelings.. about a week after that we'll need some healing. You'll take the feelings throw them away say you never liked us & throw it in are face that you just wanted one thing didn't give it so you got erased. Ya'll act like having hoes is godly & that yall should all be praised **** BOYS.. im done

I might be wrong
but in my eyes are generation doesn't love.
Maybe there was a expiration date back then
That if you'd liked someone you'd better make it quick.
The older generation took are love..
& now brainwash us saying all types of stuff
Like " your to young to fall inlove"
Because you see , true young love are only in old movies.
They took it away as if we didn't deserve it.
They took are love , put it up & now we struggle to do lovely stuff.. don't ask about this because they don't admit it. They have all are love & won't give us ****!

My birthdays tomorrow
On labor day.
its suppose to be a very special day.
But its not.
because of my mom.
who wants to hang with her friends & get drunk.
You say you dont have the money to do this & that
maybe u would if you werent tryig to impress you friend.
I understand you havent seen her in a long time
but ***** its my birthday tomorrow.Its My time to shine
None of this is for me.
None of this is about me.
but hey , its my birthday! i hope your happy.
since you seem to wanna party like its your day
ill let you have YOUR shine & ill just lay
in bed with all these bad emotions in my head
alone im here

YOU UGLY ***** !
I HATE THIS ****.
YOU MADE ME LIKE YOU , THEN JUST LEFT
LIKE *** ? ARE U STUPID ?
ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR DUMB HOES.
WHO **** EVERYBODY & YOU KNOW!
BUT THATS OK ***** ILL BE OVER YOU SOON.

Laying on the tracks , waiting on the train.
Sitting under the clouds , waiting on the rain.
sittin here sad tryna get rid of the pain.
Pain pain go away come back on another day.
But i shouldnt have to say this everyday.
When i cross the streets i dont look both ways.
Sitting here alive , waiting on death.
i wanna look pretty when i take my last breath.
Im waiting.
Waiting to see how soft my casket is.
Im waiting.
Cant wait until im done with this ****.

I guess ive never been scared of the dark
i guess ive always loved it.
It hides all my flaws & ****.
you cant say im ugly. you cant say im tall.
You"ll be forced to listen to my personally & my call.
Because you can hear my voice & hear my movement.
you cant hear my smile & you cant hear my touch.
Ill always be more than enough.. in the dark.
Everyones equal , you dont have to be shy!
Its so much easier to just cry.
You & i have the same amount of pride.
Why is everyone looking for the light ? when its so much easier living at night.

I ****** up just a lil bit
but when will you get over it?
it feels like i cant do anything right
you'll hold this against me until a other life.
Im sorry.
I really am ive never been so sorry..
so its like ****?
Can you except my apology this one time?
Even if it doesnt make everything fine.
im stuck here alone , like this is teaching me a lesson
When in reality it just has me going into depression
In need of a session.
But im kinda tired of this ****..
if it was any other kid youll be over it
But its different because im the most hated.
MOM when will u get over it ?

I'm inlove with a stranger
His presence is danger
He'll love me now but ,
Tomorrow he's a player
There's not one day he doesn't cross my mind...
Why?
Why am i inlove with a person who doesn't pay me any mind?
....doesn't give me the day or time!
... But why? Is it his soft lips or ,
how he holds me just for a little bit..
until he wants more , more & more im scared so i run out that door .. he's back to ignoring me because i don't give him what he wants he's back to loving all those *****! & I'm just STUCK inlove with a stranger.

I think its the burn..
That keeps me so happy
It may feel good , but it makes me look sloppy
Not being able to control myself is getting normal
The burn of the drink sinks in like soil
Pour me up a drink hurry hurry before i get back sober and have to live unblurry

I don't wanna hurt you
That's why i put up caution signs
I wanna make it clear since u seem so blind
You wont listen to the warnings i give
You are cute but to sensitive
Its not because of you but other males
Who turned the sweetheart into a *****
which will soon turn a sweet boy into a *******
Its not nothin new , that's just how the world goes.

When im not high im low.
Were young lets drink,eat and smoke.
Lets party until everything is sore.
Wake up in a strange place and figure out how to get home.

Lets enjoy these days ,
Lets make memories.
Were living in are moms house
Everythings ****** free!

Forget about tomorrow
Lets all have fun
Get caught for curfew , get caught using drugs.
Every single day is Friday

Every single day is a piece of cake.
All you have to do is live.
Stand up for what's right ,
Don't fall for the *******

Go to sleep late , wake up late
Go to bonfires , go on dates
Don't care about what they all say
Because this is the youngest you'll be
Before any forward days.

-lene