The memories of things I've said and done seem to follow me around
I know they shape up who I am, so now matter how much I try to hide them somehow they will be found
If I cry will the feeling inside me go away?
Will it stop tormenting me and let me live another day?
I wish I knew the answer, maybe then I'd find some peace
Peace from my mind that doesnt let me have any sleep
But the regret cant be lost without another being found
One regret cant just be forgotten because there is always another one around
And I know these thoughts are making me push everyone away
That's how I woke up bleeding in the bath that day
Now the wish of finally having a grave that will state rest in peace
Is the only thing I can imagine that'll put me fast to sleep

This can't be bad
Not as bad as their words
Because you won't be sad
You won't be part of their world
If you do it quickly
You have to not think
The liquid may be stinky
But it'll wash down the sink
Wash it all
Evidence will be none
You can't tell them that you're sore
Don't tell them that it stung

It is quite scary...
Will it be darker than what I see now?
Or will it be brighter...
Will the soil walls comfort me just like the wood?
Or will they frighten me...
Will the silence that I so long for finally be all I hear?
Or will my mind be the only thing talking,
Telling me,
       This is the end,
             This is what you feared...

Oh dear knight
You came to me in shining armor
Your sword stained with blood
Cuts and bruises damaged your body
Yet you still look perfect

Why did you come here?
You knew it unsafe but still you fought
And I'm sorry to let you know what was waiting
It's only me...
Yes... Nothing else...
No beautiful fair maiden, no riches or treasures
A rather poor prize for you to claim

Will you turn away?
It's fine I'll understand, I'll see you off with a smile
And a wave of my hand...
You're gone

Her eyes brightened with joy when we met
they always had a special spark,
and the smile she would give,
it was like my light in the dark.
She was here.

Her laugh would make me giggle,
it was all I ever wanted to hear,
all I ever want to see, she became so dear.
I wanted her to be happy.

Maybe it was the way she said it, simple,
I love you, I felt a burst of excitement, joy, happiness?
Could it be true? because I loved her too.

But I knew it wouldnt be too long
when we both had to move on,
she didn't like change, so then
it was the beginning of the end.

When we met, her spark was gone,
my morning smile turned to dawn,
it was that day I knew she left.

Though her laugh would be the same
not as frequent, was I to blame?
I became obsessed to make her happy,
and see her special smile once again

Maybe it was the way she said it, simple,
I hate you, I felt a burst of fear, sadness, anger?
Could it be true? ... Does that mean I must
hate her too.

What are you afraid of little girl?
you have your life ahead
dont let all those bad times
keep you down and dead
get back up on your feet
and just try again
in a couple years you'll be old like me
and wish you'd listen to what i said...

My hands tremble as i get close
how long has it been?
i wipe the dust off the keys
it looks exactly the way i left it
my fingers urge to touch
my ears long to hear the sound
so i decide to sit down

i can feel my heart beating
and my stomach turning
as i place my fingers on the keys
they feel cold and neglected
i whisper sorry under my breath
how could i leave it for so long
here i feel like i belong

deciding on a tune to play
which ever i haven't forgotten
fur elise is the first in my mind
to my surprise i remember it
the first section i played, it echoed
a bolt of excitement rushed through me
then a smile slowly started creeping

it wont leave me alone
its taken everything i have
its draining my life away
it always makes me sad
there is no place to run
without it catching you
there is no place to hide
without it finding you
and if you ever think
for even a second
that you have outsmarted it
then it will show you
by the things you hold dear
that it will never go
never leave you alone
it will always win
because you belong to it
it will always be here

I dont believe i can do it
i never did
i never wanted it to be like this
i hate the way this feels
i see the disappointment in their faces
i let them all down again
i always do
i always knew i couldnt do it
i dont even know why i tried
i wish today would be my last
i wish tonight id die

Its funny how i say
i wont need you today
then try to turn and walk away
but i come back, always

its like you have a hold on me and you know
i see it in your face, that smile, i cant let you go
and you know how much i love you, head to toe
i wonder if you have a clue that now everyone's my foe?

but i hope you know its about to all change
because my love for you might not be the same
you play with me, with my heart like its some game
and i have this feeling.. that sadly your all for the fame

and i know that im going to cry
maybe hurt myself but i have to try
who knows how fast time will fly
so for now this is another good bye

What to do, when I'm feeling so blue
times like this i know i need you
but its you that makes me blue
sometimes, what am i to do?

What to do, i know he hasn't a clue
but if he did i wonder what he'd do?
or maybe he always knew?
i wonder what to do?

What to do, i feel like I'm through
i cant trust anyone, not even you
all the time i feel like I'm chewed,
life's eaten me up, oh what am i to do?

If it was you
and you know who you are
if you stole him away
you better run far

i don't play games when it comes to him
he is my one true love
if you stole his mind away
you better ready the doves

i was so afraid at first
but now i don't care who
ill make it my goal to find you all!
just wait till i get my hands on you

you'll wish you never did what you did
but till then you better be wishful
he has never ever turned to you (or ever will)
because if i know that he has, its gonna get personal

I heard some news about you
and im really hoping its not true
do you know how much i love you
how much i care and support you!
how much ive WASTED MY LIFE FOR YOU!
i dont know what to say
and yes my hands are starting to shake
but you have to look at me
the truth you have to tell me
only the truth
i never wanted you to be like them
i thought you were different
dont....dont prove me wrong
and break my heart
because your the only one who has it,
i am broken, a broken soul
and i gave my heart to you
while it was still bruised
i...i trusted you....i trusted you
please...please dont let it be true
i beg of you...

I stand at his gate
but i know its too late
he has a bed mate
i feel like dead weight
i knew i wasnt great
but i thought we could relate
and together we could create
but now my love is hate
i guess sadness is my fate

who dares love the crazy
the strange, the weird?
everyone strives to be perfect
yet i dont, for this i am "weird"
and nobody loves me
no one ever has
because they dont dare love
the crazy or the strange even
the weird, but thats all in their
heads, why? because they are
scared to be seen that way,
i dont understand that...
they all say be yourself but
once you do they push you to
the weird category whether you
like it or not, well we all have to label
ourselves somehow, if we dont
others will, its just a matter of time..
and if anyone dares say they love the weird
then i have a question
how come im still sitting here?
alone and unloved by everyone
who speaks to me, let alone sees me?
i know its just a claim and no one
will ever be able to love the strange

I left a seat for you
on my table for two
my heart is waiting
my mind is hating...

your tea is getting cold
and im getting old
will you ever come for me?
how long do i have to plea

i look out the window through the bars
then i see you from afar
i didnt know you were having fun
i guess in your mind im the last one

why did you leave me here
drowning in my tears?
you know im stuck in this place
all i wanted was to see your face

smiling at me, sitting together
even if it wont be forever
your smile is all i really need
but i want that smile to be for me

I see them touching you
i pretend not to care
but im wishing i could too
this really isnt any fair

they look so happy to be so close
but my anger is getting out of hand
im starting to see them all as foes
even the ones who are my friends

my jealousy is driving me crazy
i cant hold back anymore
no one is around but its getting so noisy
and my heart is starting to feel sore

Healing the pain of the past

Escaping the hold of your mask

Learning new ways to a brighter future

People who are caring and like to nurture

When im in your arms
everything feels right
my sadness and hurt is all gone
i smile and hold you tight

the way you feel on my cheek
words cannot describe
warm, happy, its the only sweet
without it i cant survive

The word is evil
yet the feeling is sweet.
Revenge is something we all want
no one can disagree,
though i never thought i ever would.
Love, peace, smile, happiness is what i used to think..
i wanted to be the sweetness like in the movies
the princess who are ever so kind,
in the end they get everything they dream of!
...but that's not what life's about now is it,
we all know its about this one, simple word,
Revenge...
Well of course i have met some nice people in my life
not everyone can be considered bad as most,
but some people just drive you insane!
to the point that you just want to...
get revenge of course.
Yes i do believe the action is just as evil as the word but
we all need to have a bit of fun every now and again
and im sure everyone can agree on that.
I mean what better way is to see the sourness,
the betrayal, the hurt! on your enemies face...
or friends, but you know most friends are enemies.
Trust no one! that's what i say
because everyone wants it...
they all want revenge...

Am i the fool
i keep coming to you
like you listen to me
whenever i speak
or when i yell
and cry, i can tell
you dont seem hurt
or bothered by my tears
you dont even care about my fears
so why do i come back to you?
i must be the fool
im too blind to see
your the one hurting me
but i dont want to know
because i love you so
how can you be the one whose bad
but if your not then why am i so sad?
im too afraid to let you go
my confidence in others is so low
please dont turn out to be like them
my love is true, i promise its not pretend!
ive never felt my heart beating so fast
and all you did was walk past

you dont know a thing about me
so why do i think you care?
you wont even know when im around
because all i do is stare

everyone can see that i love you
but they dont know im obsessed
ive already planned our future
and already picked  my dress

but i know you dont feel the same
and i know you might never will
but ive decided that i will wait
because i know my love is real