I wish that I had someone
to write a poem about me.
It wouldn't have to be amazing or perfect.
Just a few stanzas that praised my
huge curly brown hair
and my pale skin
and the gap between my two front teeth
and my skinny body.
Because these are the quirks that I love about myself,
but I can't just say that,
or I run the risk of being conceited,
self-absorbed.
Or maybe just having healthy self-confidence that is so
frowned-upon in America today.

If, one day, your body where to suddenly separate into billions of tiny particles, and float in the air with the dust and the smoke,
then I would stand there and breathe you in.
And I would breathe and breathe until all of you was in my lungs.
And I would carry you around inside of me.
Right there in my lungs, surrounding my heart.
And you would always be with me, wherever I went, whatever I did.
I would never lose you or be without you.
And there you would be, holding my heart like you always have.

You make me feel like
my hands are not for
writing, typing, doing,
only for
holding, caressing, feeling.
And my arms are not for
opening, moving, driving
only for
hugging, holding, embracing.
And my legs are not for
walking, running, kicking
only for
being tangled up in yours.
And my lips are not for
eating, speaking, breathing
only for
kissing, kissing, kissing.
And my brain is not for
thinking, worrying, planning
only for
knowing that you are all I need.
And my heart is not for pumping blood
my heart is not for keeping me alive
my heart is only in my chest so that I can be in love with you
and you can be in love with me.
And the world
the universe
does not exist so that we can all play these little games with
money, land, power,
only so that we can
love, love, love
love, love, love.

I just want to hide with you.
Feel my life collide with you.
Close me eyes and breathe with you.
Feel our bodies' heat with you.
Smiling, laughing, crying, fighting,
want to do it all with you.
Tell me things that I don't know
show me places I won't go.
Then at the end of the day
we'll smile because we found a way.
We have secrets we can keep
Let's just sleep darling, long and deep.

And ohmy
your lips are so
sweet and smooth and wet and soft and
gentle.
And I'm considering the possibility that maybe
you're all I need.
Ever,
forever.
That maybe,
no definitely,
you are my smile when I wake up in the morning,
you are my sigh before I fall asleep.
And you make me so happy that I
scream
and
do happy dances
and
wonder how I ever lived without you.
You give me that sort of choking happy feeling in my throat
and it feels like the joy is about to come bursting out.
And I love falling asleep with
the faint smell of your cologne in my hair
and
the taste of your lips still on mine.
And when you laugh and lean in for a kiss,
I still sometimes marvel.

I can quite confidently say
that I am a smart girl
who thinks before she acts
and
"makes good choices"
and
always remember to brush her teeth.
But for you,
I become
crazy
irrational
unpredictable
irresponsible.
Everything I am not.
And maybe I cry myself to sleep over you simply because
you make me feel
different
than I know how to feel on my own.
And without you
I am just a
shy, silly
little girl
who does what she is told, and nothing else.
Because I can quite confidently say
that I am a smart girl,
but whenever you want me,
I am there.
And whenever you don't,
I am impatiently waiting
wanting
wishing.
It's unhealthy,
it's pathetic.
But I can't change it,
and I can't help but to
mess it up
every
single
time.

Maybe:
We will make this last forever.

Probably:
I would be lost without you.

Definitely:
I love you.
You love me.
I will never let you go.

Afraid.
I am afraid to write a poem.
Someone will not like it.
Someone will think it's
unoriginal
uninspired
boring.
People will not care about
the thought
the emotion
the worries
that I put into this poem.
I write them,
I read them,
I save them as drafts
and hide them from the sun
until I decide that
I
don't
care
if I'm the only one that likes it.

Falling asleep
with the taste of you
on my lips.
And the smell of you
in my hair.
And thoughts
so many thoughts of you
running around
in my
brain.