Afraid.
I am afraid to write a poem.
Someone will not like it.
Someone will think it's
unoriginal
uninspired
boring.
People will not care about
the thought
the emotion
the worries
that I put into this poem.
I write them,
I read them,
I save them as drafts
and hide them from the sun
until I decide that
I
don't
care
if I'm the only one that likes it.

I can quite confidently say
that I am a smart girl
who thinks before she acts
and
"makes good choices"
and
always remember to brush her teeth.
But for you,
I become
crazy
irrational
unpredictable
irresponsible.
Everything I am not.
And maybe I cry myself to sleep over you simply because
you make me feel
different
than I know how to feel on my own.
And without you
I am just a
shy, silly
little girl
who does what she is told, and nothing else.
Because I can quite confidently say
that I am a smart girl,
but whenever you want me,
I am there.
And whenever you don't,
I am impatiently waiting
wanting
wishing.
It's unhealthy,
it's pathetic.
But I can't change it,
and I can't help but to
mess it up
every
single
time.