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Susie Q Feb 2011
I look for problems in the simplicity of my life.
I search for answers without having questions.
Am I just seeking attention? Why ask for trouble?

This emptiness I feel, does it have reason? Can I give it a name?
Can I label it in order to box it up, and hide it away?
I’m not sad, but this can’t be called happy, I just want to stop.

Stop thinking. Stop doubting. Stop feeling nothingness.
I’ve become lost. Aimlessly fighting for something I cannot attain.
Hell, it doesn’t exist. All I’ve done is get trapped by an ideal.

An ideal I’ve convinced myself is happiness.
How hard it is to just be happy? Stop and smell the roses you’re given.
But who knows how to accept that? Insecurity takes over.

My vulnerability feeds on itself, funny how that works.
Each weakness opens the door to breaking me. Opening new cracks to feed on.
When you’ve gotten used to being broken, how do you let yourself be fixed?

That light at the end of the tunnel, how long can you hold it for?
It’s swallowed so fast. Enveloped in a sea of black.
Why can’t I ignore the darkness and accept the light?

No more questions. No more thinking No more doubts.
Because, there is no solution.
A solution needs a problem.
I just can’t accept there isn’t one.

— The End —