I'm sorry,
if this breaks your heart,
although I hope it doesn't.
But I have to be honest.
When we kissed,
I didn't feel anything,
except guilt.
But in a way,
I'm glad it happened.
I think I can stop
wondering what could
have been.
We both have too much
to lose.
I felt bad that I
couldn't tell my boyfriend
that I saw you that night,
because I knew it
could ruin this great
thing I have going.
We are both better
people than that.
And I hate lying.
After I left,
I realized I really
am in love,

but it was him

that I was so afraid

of losing.

Have you ever wondered why
some people, places, & memories
seem impossible to let go?
It's because at one point
in time that was your
whole life.
I still can't let go
of my sunshine and Iowa.
Maybe if they just
hadn't tasted so **** sweet,
maybe if the feeling wasn't
something words can't describe
then maybe,
my heart could just
skip over those months.
But I still wonder what
would have been,
if I actually ran away
with him
last summer,
if you had decided
to stay.
The only answer I don't have
is how to free myself
from people I will
never see again.