Another year, another tear,
Another night with a six pack of beer.
It's not getting easier, but it's not hard
to think about you and all of these scars.
I'd say that I miss you, but that's a lie
It's the thought of a mother that makes me cry.
You gave me this life, and that's where it ends.
Then you ran off to shoot up with your friends.
Maybe this year, I'll let go of this hate
to forgive and forget, it's never too late.
But I'll never forget because I can't recall
what exactly made you a mother at all.
You should've been there when I needed you most
But you came and went like a phantom, a ghost.
I tell myself it was just all the drugs
that made you reject your childrens' love.
We all took it different, but exactly the same
In the fact it's too hard to even utter your name.
We don't talk about it, we just hold it in
because these are the cards, the hand we were given.
Truth be told, I don't know what I'd change
Not knowing the difference if you had stayed.
Did you know then, like I know now
That you leaving would be better somehow?
It made me stronger, almost makes me smile
but even Atlas needs a break once in a while.
I have to convince myself you didn't leave ME
You just ran away from your responsibility.
I shouldn't take it personal, but the cut is so deep
and this mountain I'm climbing is getting so steep.
But I've made it this far all by myself
To the point I'm ashamed to ask anyone for help
I'd say that I love you, but that's a lie too
How can I love someone I barely knew?
That's really what gets me the most
I never got to hide under your coat
Never got to hear you sing
Every once in a while I'd hear the phone ring
Or I'd get a letter, or some silly card
Covering the past or about your yard
But you never told me the truth
"I'm sorry that I walked out on you"