I'm in love, with love.
I don't love you, only that you love me.
I won't forgive you, because I don't have to.
Because I don't love you.
I enjoy your smile because I made it.
That look in your eye, I know you want it.
I want it, because you do.
I don't love you, because I can't.
I watch you love me to learn.
So love me true and teach me how.
So I can love me too.

Just wanna write, just wanna be loved. Hold my hand, give me a hug.
Physical connections, emotional investments,
but you just wanna **** with no other suggestion.
Some days are better, others are worse.
Put that pen to the paper, turn the pain into a verse.
Sidestep the *******, take it straight on
Trying to move forward but it seems my drive is gone.
I can't fight it, can't hide it, like my brain and heart's divided.
I won't show it, you don't know it, but we're both about to blow it.
These thoughts in my head turn me into a big mess.
I'll tell a stranger everything but I can't tell you a **** thing.

What the **** is wrong with me?
I want these guys that never see.
Me for me.

I'm a loving, honest, kind,
hard working woman with a hard working mind.
Maybe I should just mind my own business
and keep my nose out of other people's decisions.

But I can't help it, I don't want to.
                              
                            I feel the need to be involved too.

Another year, another tear,
Another night with a six pack of beer.
It's not getting easier, but it's not hard
to think about you and all of these scars.

I'd say that I miss you, but that's a lie
It's the thought of a mother that makes me cry.
You gave me this life, and that's where it ends.
Then you ran off to shoot up with your friends.

Maybe this year, I'll let go of this hate
to forgive and forget, it's never too late.
But I'll never forget because I can't recall
what exactly made you a mother at all.

You should've been there when I needed you most
But you came and went like a phantom, a ghost.
I tell myself it was just all the drugs
that made you reject your childrens' love.

We all took it different, but exactly the same
In the fact it's too hard to even utter your name.
We don't talk about it, we just hold it in
because these are the cards, the hand we were given.

Truth be told, I don't know what I'd change
Not knowing the difference if you had stayed.
Did you know then, like I know now
That you leaving would be better somehow?

It made me stronger, almost makes me smile
but even Atlas needs a break once in a while.
I have to convince myself you didn't leave ME
You just ran away from your responsibility.

I shouldn't take it personal, but the cut is so deep
and this mountain I'm climbing is getting so steep.
But I've made it this far all by myself
To the point I'm ashamed to ask anyone for help

I'd say that I love you, but that's a lie too
How can I love someone I barely knew?

That's really what gets me the most
I never got to hide under your coat
Never got to hear you sing
Every once in a while I'd hear the phone ring
Or I'd get a letter, or some silly card
Covering the past or about your yard

But you never told me the truth
"I'm sorry that I walked out on you"