i always found it easiest to scream my feelings out on paper, but now i find it easier just to have me scream them when you're on top of me.

I'm never going to strip for you. I'm not going to stand in front of you and slowly take off all my clothes, while you watch. I'm not a slow person. I will push you down, and kiss you so hard you won't be able to breathe, so you push me away and strip me of my clothes yourself. you'll tear them off like its the one thing you need to do to survive, and I'll tear yours off, my mouth never leaving yours. we'll be a tangled mess of limbs and sweat covered clothes, kissing every part of each other, tasting one another as if we're each other's need for survival. I'm never going to strip for you, because I am in need of fast. I am in need of want. I am in need of you.

my favorite thing in the world is when you jump into the cool lake on a hot day. it's mid July, the sun is burning your skin, and you're sweating in your swimsuit. you've been waiting all day to get to the water, to feel the coldness envelope you in a shocking iciness. you jump, and suddenly you're surrounded by blue. your eyes are closed, but you can still see the sun above the surface. you're only under for a few seconds, but the jacket of cold water washing away the summer sweat makes it feel like you're under for hours. when you resurface, the summer heat is nothing. that's what it felt like to kiss you for the first time.

“i did love you, and i still do. and how my standards of girls is based completely around you.”
you sang that in the car one day,
pointing to me as that line came on,
and i smirked and laughed,
so young and naive thinking we would be together forever.
that there would be never be another me.
but three months later,
and you’re with me version 2.0.

maybe if you didn’t **** up with me so terribly,
you wouldn’t find yourself drunk crying to my best friend,
saying how you won’t be able to handle hearing a song that makes you think of me.
maybe if you didn’t **** up with me so awfully,
you could have still been holding me in the concert crowd.

my body was yours once.
it was yours to explore,
to touch,
to scratch,
to kiss,
to learn.
i think that was my first mistake.
this body i’ve made my home in is mine.
the only person who should he exploring every flaw,
and scar,  
and disaster on my skin is me.
your fingers used to trace the scars on my collarbone,
but now mine do.
i’m learning how to love every bump and flaw on my body
so when i finally let someone love me again,
i’ll teach them how to love me fully.
i wonder if you ever loved me fully.
my body was once yours,
but this shell of mine is beautiful,
and ugly,
and wonderful,
and the only person she belongs to
is me.

each time he kisses me he kisses me like he’ll never see me again / each time you kissed me you kissed me like you wanted to never see me again