I can't stop thinking so loudly and being vulnerable tonight.
I can't get these worship songs out of my head and
I can't figure out why they make me want to cry.
I'm wondering why,
Since "holy" and "wholly" make the same sound,
They didn't use the former.
I can't stop being anxious and wanting and
Wishing I could believe in God,
And cringing over my childish range of reasons for that.
I can't stop thinking about all of Us ending up in the same "place",
And whether that should be happy or sad,
And how it isn't really a place at all.
I can't stop thinking about the idea that
I'm slowly becoming someone I've hated as much as I've loved,
And the parts I'm becoming are definitely the hated ones.
I can't get it out of my head,
The fact that even though manslaughter is an accident,
Somebody still ends up dead,
And how Cause and Effect means that
Everything is someone's fault,
And lots of faults are mine.
I can't stop thinking about how
"Sorry" and "sorrow" are linked.
I don't know if this is even a poem.