i want to forget you the same way
you forgot about my birthday

i want to forget that i've waited for 24 hours
for you to text me only two words

i want to forget how much i cried on that day
thinking about why you couldn't treat me the same way

i want to forget that you made me pick her birthday gifts
a bouquet of purple lilacs and a green dress

i want to forget how long i kept staring at her pictures
wishing i was the one with the flowers in my hands

i want to forget how you made me think i wasn't worth any of that
even a "happy birthday" message was too much for me to get

i am afraid i won't be able
to escape from repeating
my mom's fate, and end up
with a guy just like my dad

then about twenty years later
i'll tell my daughter on a coffee table
you were my right person, wrong time
with tears in my eyes and a ring on my finger

the other day
my mom was talking about
her right person, wrong time
with tears in her eyes

while trying to comfort her
i told that if it was the right man
the time would be right too
as if i believed that nonsense

she turned me and asked
"do you really think that
your father was my right
person, right time then?"

i will never forget the time when my mom said
"i was about to enter your room then i heard your voice
that you were talking on the phone with someone
it was the happiest you sounded in my whole life
since the first day you were born in this world"

that day she couldn't even knock on my door
because she was afraid that the slightest noise
would make our fragile happiness fade away
while standing still on the other side of the wall
she listened you giving me the joy i never had in life

the woman who raised me, witnessed my entire life
my first step, my first word, my first love
told me i've never been as happy as i was with you
even my mom misses the way you made me laugh
how can i not?

maybe you'd also expect me to say i looked for someone like you
but, i've only searched for guys looked nothing like you

i wanted you to be the only guy with curly hair and brown eyes
i've ever seen in my life who would ripped my heart apart
however i was so blinded by your love that i missed the part
everyone was unlovable without having your features like a piece of art

how am i supposed to love someone who doesn't remind me of you
if i can't have their hair tangled around my fingers longing to touch you
if i can't feel their brown eyes on me when i look away to imagine you
how am i supposed to love them, if they aren't you

i have tried to forget you,
                                 move on
                                       find somebody

somebody like you but not you
somebody i wanna talk to before anyone else
somebody who is so passionate about anything they believe and love

so for years i have modelled anyone i met to you
i wandered around to find the one that could replace you

but now i have realized
                           now i know that

there’s nobody like you
and i was foolish to believe there might have been one

actually it feels so weird that you don't know i have a different hair now
i cut them shorter, dyed them blonde, and got new bangs
also i like them wavy rather than straight now
as you would remember otherwise
you used to notice the slightest change in my hair
and now you have no idea what it looks like
neither do i about your beautiful curls
it's the small things that make me realize
you are not part of my life anymore
even though i know you shouldn't be
i still wish you could see every version of me