the thought of you makes me nervous.
the thought of your smile makes me tremble.
the thought of your soft green eyes makes me scream.
but the thought that i lost you just makes me want to jump off cliffs.
because i loved you.
and when i loved you the thought of you was tremendous.
the thought of you was just a miracle.

now my thoughts of you are wanting you back.
but you are to far gone to have you back.
so yes the thought of you makes me nervous because i get so nervous i want to cry.

If I made a wish list, it would be endless.
I know not one thing on that list would be fulfilled.
That's why I don't make wish lists.

Because I would feel like a complete failure.

I want to be a child again.
The only time I ever got cut was from getting scratched.
The only time I felt pain was when someone got mad at me.
The only time I cried was when I got hurt.

Now I cry from hatred.
I feel pain from hatred.
And I get cut from razors.

So yeah, I want to be a child again.

I wish you knew how much I love you.
I wish you knew how much I love your laugh.
I wish you knew how much I love your smile.
But most of all I wish you loved me too.

Because I have loved you for a long time, and I don't think you'll ever like me back the way I like you.
She's the only one that can get your attention, and I'm just your friend.
Maybe someday you will notice how much it hurts to love you without love in return.

Love,

H.S.