NAME - Hello Poetry

NAME Dec 2018

Bit You

My tears run down my face.

The pain is just so... familiar.

Being left behind.

Blamed on.

What am I doing?

You have friends,

You have a family,

You have a future.

How can I say that I'm

S C R E A M I N G

while silent?

******B I N G

While smiling?

I start to laugh.

I laugh until my stomach hurts.

I fall onto my bed.

I laugh until I cry.

NAME Dec 2018

Black Dog

it was a tattoo
in the shape of a dog
that was black
it said
"Achtung!
I have a black dog"
with an
angry
black dog
on your pale
skin.
when your letter
was let out
i cried
i cut
i bled
i hurt
i dropped everything
no one helped to pick it up.
i saw my dog
it was looming over me
ready to bite
then,
a blue light shone
the day you left
everywhere
the sky shone blue
the color
of my
world

NAME Dec 2018

Your

You
1.
used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing.
"are you listening?"
2.
used to refer to any person in general.
"after a while, you get used to it"

I wish I wasn't listening
Or reading
To the broken
The mourning
The snide remarks
The boos
The cheers

I never got used to it.
The teasing
The gap
Just because
I'm Korean

We were
All
Walking the tightrope
And
I,
Disappointingly
But
Unsurprisingly,
Fell.

Book
Music
Films
Sports
Art
Dance
I went through them all,
Trying to find relief.

But none came.

I am not what you think I am.
No one knows the true me
Hell
I don't even know.

"Have you ever smiled?"
"I never seen you smile,
Is there something wrong?"
"Are you alright?"

The question bounce
Around me
Eating me
Drinking me
Consuming me
Breaking me

I lost my smile
At a very young age
I stopped talking after that
Singing
Dancing
Being ME
Was a totally different girl

I sit
With my math in front of me
After a violin performance.
Being called nerd,
Asian
Yellow
Bomber
North K
******
Gay
******
*******
Medusa

I'm used to it now.

I look up, and
smile at my mother
Who loves me
And hates me
"After your homework is done,
Dry your hair and
Get ready
For your concert
On Saturday."
She kisses my head
While my father scoffs

"How did you get 2nd chair
With no skill?
You're only on book three"

I look away.

I look back.

My father hasn't spoken.
Nor my mother

They're downstairs

And
I
Just
Cry.

NAME Dec 2018

Remember That

Do you
Play with the spirits
Like everyone else
Played with
My heart
And
Still
Sing
Like you sang
For Your Life?
On that stage?
Do you remember?

Or

Do you
Cry?
Like I did
When I heard?
Like I do
When I think about you?

Or

Do you
Smile?
That
******
Smile
That
Broke
My
Heart?
The one
They put
On your face
In the coffin?

Or

Are you here
But in a different form
And prophecied
To end up
Like you did
On
December
18th,
2018?

Loved?
Cherished?
Fought for?
Cried over?
The words
You thought
You weren't
But
Were?

NAME Dec 2018

Try Not To

What if I said
"Bonjour, je suis le chanté"
and
"Hello"
And never said
"Goodbye"
Would you
Remember?
The life?
Happiness?
Sadness?
The tears that we both cried?
At the
Opposite sides
Of
The
World?

NAME Dec 2018

I Still

If all else perished
And he remained
I should continue
to be
And
If all else
Remained and
He was
Annihilated
The universe
Would
Turn into
A mighty stranger

He's
More
Myself
Than
I
Am.
What
Ever
Our
Souls
Are
Made of,
His
And mine
Are
The
Same

I looked in at the sky and whispered "Je suis désolé" to the angel above
Je t'ai manqué.

NAME Dec 2018

But,

What if
You
Never
Left?
Would I
Still spend
Countless nights
Crying
For
Someone who
Was at
The other
Side of the
World?
Would I
Still
Hurt
With the
Crimson dripping
Down my arm
And the bruises
On my ribs?
And go to
School
Hating each
And
Every
Day
More
And
More?