I've got a bad habit
of tripping over my own clunky feet
I'm not used to it
I used to be so precise
so mechanical and
under control

But the wires
have all been severed
and the servos can't
read
the feed
back
and while I can feel my
windows are cracked
I can't feel the rain
in my heart
even though
I know
that it's now beating again

The rain...wet on my face
as it follows the furrows
and frown lines
feels so good on new skin

Looking over the wreckage
at my feet
feeling the lump in my throat...
There's a lump in my throat!
What a joyous feeling...to feel

Cans once riveted to
my hands now cleanish
And the work is piling up,
but I can manage
The lack of fire in my head
is a big advantage

The doors to inviting rooms
swing wide open
One day, my clunky feet will fall in step
and I'll win the prize of an honest
man's death
The metallic clank will disappear
from my stride
and I will become whole again;
well deserved of my Father's pride.
One day….

Is anybody out there?
I'm alone and scared
and all the lights are out
I reached out and everything
I touched was cold
I turned around twice
and realized that I had become old
and all the terrible things
I'd done to my loves
had turned on me ten fold

I found out that all the words
I cursed out loud were for nothing
and
something inside me was dying
The only sound I could make now
was sighing,
but I mustered up a shout
which came out
more like a shriek
or a screech

All the leaves
on the trees were turning,
but not like in Fall
My chickens were coming to roost
as I reached, but to no hand at all

I had given and fought for nothing
and nothing is what I had reaped
The blood that lay
in the ground at my feet
was not even mine

I am the wraith with rusty blades
and I sweep
and stalk my prey
While they lay in their sleep

I lurk in cobwebbed corners dimly lit
for chance to pay pipers back
and fill my soul the heart of sadness
I so selfishly spent my time to split.

The winds were quiet and peaceful
The streams cool and
running slowly through the reeds
and the lily pads frogless for the time being

Yet with all of the still waters
something stirs
Something whirs and wriggles
inside of this tin man
something shakes and shivers

Once cold, calculating
red slits
are now twinkling with amber
like the comet filled sky
throwing celestial fits

Grinding gears grabbing steel
and wire mesh
have lost the robot to
the sound of His timing
and blood's liquidy swish

At first, we were at a loss
and our worldly metallic friend
questioned his feelings
and thought this was surely the end

Until one day when
he shed his first tear
and the rust on his face plate
began to disappear

It was a miracle we decided
beyond a shadow of a doubt
This once mechanical being
With joy in its eyes began to shout.

We welcomed him to the world
with his sharp robotic eyes
as they softened to a glow,
His now heart-filled chest
full of love instead of lies

The metal scale began to drift away
and this machine was now man
who now looked at every new day
With brighter eyes
and a new love for which to stand.

It's so easy
to go right out
turn my back
walk away
My soul’s been sold
a million times
What's one more
stupid dime?

Walked this way
for so long
One foot out
to trip myself
Eat concrete
Head all hurt
Another drink
Forget about all of you!

I'm the rebel in black and blue!
A rebel who burned his clue!
Stairs with a broken step!
If I don't get up, I'll drink myself to death!

Cat's away
Time to play
**** my friends
Don't need amends
Serve myself
Die alone
in my home
or in the street

I'll get online
show my behind
Wake up hurt
It's all fine
Delete last night
no big deal
I'll forget about how I feel!

I was the rebel in black and blue!
Drunken fighter without a clue!
Waking up to fix this step!
I won't drink myself to death!

I can go for days at a time,
sometimes even weeks,
feeling great or even just okay.  

But then,
outta nowhere and for no good reason at all,
I just want to pull the trigger.  
And it comes and it goes just like that
(that being snapping fingers).  

I wonder if that's what happened
with that girl who shot herself
in traffic in Chesapeake yesterday?  
Was it one of those moments of weakness,
a millionteenth traffic ticket
on top of an end of a relationship cake,
dipped in confusion about her
newly discovered ****** preference
that she'd covered up all of her life?  
Was she in a program?  

Sometimes...
even if it's just for a split second...
I know her.  

Sometimes...
I am her and she is me
and all either of us really need
is a hug,
a kiss on the top of the head or on a cheek,
and a breathy whisper in our ear from
someone
anyone
who would tell us
"It's gonna be okay, child...
Everything is gonna be alright...."

Controller roller coaster
off the rails
down some off-beaten
path in a forest full of broken trails

****** nails bent and broken
down a splintered cross
just to find out we're wrong
and that we can't be our own boss

We'll cut our losses and plug back in
But what does it matter then?
If all that was me is so deeply flawed,
Then what is this ground worth that I've clawed?
They say to throw my hands up
and give it all to God

I'll be the machine man made
of flesh and guilty bones
ruled by brightly burning images
from screens in comfy homes

Charcoal grills and girls on fire for *******
and a head full of guilty pleasures
Life in a loveless void of
meaningless madness
sadness
and half measures

But I am the machine
man made for fleshy,
guilty pleasures
and something else entirely
sleeps at the wheel…
phoning in direction
and they run me.
Im automatic….

I've done it again!
But for the last time!
Frittered and fretted my soul
to its end
I've homed in and fired upon most of my friends
Awakened with bitterness, hands full of frayed ends

But I'll put it back up on its side
I'll fire the light back into my mind
Replacing the missing stars from my skies
Lowering the rudder back into rough seas
Resetting this course to the discovery of me!

Right all the wrongs on my side of the street
Bite on the bit to bare all of life's lashes
Wipe off the tears
Crush all the fears
Turn it around  before it all crashes!
because this is a fight against time
This is a fight against worry and mine
eyes are the vessels of all that can be
and I'll focus on the future that
I WANT TO SEE!

Teetering on the edge of a precipice
prefaced by an ominous gaggle
of creaking timbers and the wafting
of rot from such great lows

The scene was drab and dark and typical
Nothing mystical or mysterious
about the drizzle or the salty spray
from a far off dark sea

The gulls gathered garishly
hungry with white plumage
that seemed unapologetic to the
plight of those still standing atop the heap

Iron tickled at their nostrils
while bits of gore fell from great heights
as the sea birds did their best
to clean up the rotting flesh

But the onlookers still gathered
placing pressure on the rest
to take the leap
into the heap
below

Where the wind would no longer blow
and the decomposers triumphed
under victory over humanity's last breath

While wanderers wondered what came first,
the eggs all cracked under the pressure
and the violence
and the rage
and the bitter anger won the day
while death laughed at gender
and gorged itself on equality
giving the ultimate soliloquy
on peaceful serenity

Flowers and honeysuckle
grew from their skulls
and their rib cages became
such beautiful lattices for the ivy
Finally!
Something good grew from humanity!

I'll write a poem about you
and when I'm through,
I'll crumble it up,
round file it,
and set the whole thing on fire
way before anyone sees it

I hate you because you shame me
Every time I think about you
My stomach churns
Every time I scribble out a few sentences
I'm embarrassed about those written words

I'm such a liar anyway
and all I ever do with poetry
is betray myself with that truth
All I ever do with stanzas
is demonstrate my
complete lack of couth

My meaningless mouth mixing metaphors
with grit and grime
and words that
send serious shivers down the filthiest sailor’s spine

Even when I try to behave myself
I **** it up somehow
and write you wrong
I mean I'm so ******* clever man
Really
Sometimes I say **** that
makes me want to slap myself silly
And for what?
A couple of likes and kudos
from friends and strangers
that get fished in for friendship
that may or may not be real

You feeling me?
I'm glad somebody is
because I'm not
I'm glad you're here, because I'm lost
I'm hooked on some fleeting feeling
I'm hooked by some frail fallacy
of who I'm supposed to be
Vs
who I really am

I gotta be honest though
I really just don't know
My hands are in stick up mode
I surrender
Please don't shoot

At the end of it,
I guess I'm just me
so that's who I'll be
Don't pull the curtains just yet *****
I'll figure this mystery out soon enough
...you'll see

Absence makes the heart grow cold
It strips the bark from the tree
leaving the wood underneath
to slowly die naked and exposed

Absence makes the leaves wilt and wither
crumbling in, no longer able to open
for light from the sun
leaving the soul to shake and shiver

Roots rotten from all the tears falling
A hollowed out base
Nothing left inside this place
but a whistling wind and an eerie silence calling

Bitter bark scattered all around laughing
make for a terrible audience of onlookers
who heard too much from a babbling brook
drinking it all in while self pity lay writhing

Not much is known
about a tree alone
in the woods
but when it falls in solitude
the news spreads quickly enough
and it's read from the tree's
own stripped skin
spread far and wide for all to see...

I'm sorry for what I said when it was winter
The frosty freeze of snow
hardened my heart
and made the ground splinter

I didn't mean for my words
to make you shiver
I didn't mean for my words
to be a reason for you to pickle your liver
but it's spring now,
so thaw out for me dear
The birds are singing all around
just for you to hear

I can see your sullen face starting to crack
with the warm air surrounding you
and the sun at your back
Grass turning to green
and the trees starting to bud
I can't say for certain
but I think I heard your heart make a thud

So while I'm still sorry for the
things that I said when it was winter
I'm hoping you forgive me and let
my absolution come that much quicker
and let the ties that bound us together
become that much thicker

Where are the heavens?
Above
Below
Some place where the winds don't blow?
Some place where heartbeats glow
and fires never die
and enchantment never tells a lie?

It's cold and dark the higher we go
and inside the earth
a fire always glows
The molten magma magnet
that holds us here to ground
At least that's what we were told
between trips to the merry-go-round

So who do we believe then?
The man in the robe
woos us with wonder and song
The woman at the podium
marks us high to get along

Where are the heavens then
my friend?
I think we may never know
til the end
Until then, I'll leave them between the sheets
or in dark corners where lovers meet
or in the hustle and bustle of the city street
or in a quiet cornfield where winds do rustle husk
and space envelopes her Sun at dusk

That moment when you're laying in bed
and the song cascades from an exploding star
to a calm,
quietly quenching
cerebral smile

Crunchy to clean
Fading out into a starry summer night
in a field filled with just as many points of light
in the sky as ears of corn in the soil around you
Grounding you
Planting you firmly on the earth
while reminding you that you're not alone in the universe

The corners of your mouth rise up
to high points on your cheeks
and there's a warmth
in your stomach similar to a liquor feeling
but you’re totally sober

Music makes my life worth living

Gas lit grassroots
**** so thick
gotta wear muck boots
to walk in your America
We suffer your hysteria

Every time a poll opens
amber waves whitewash wavering
opinions on old, dusty musty issues
with presorted used tissues
and a brown paper bag
to make the rotten fruit taste that much sweeter

And you rob us
You bend us over with a power tie
and some brand new pant suit
but the flag on your lapel is a lie
and you couldn't cough up
a first of the month bill toss up
If somebody kicked your kid's ***
out of private school for low fundage

And yet
Here
You
Are
Again
on your stump with your hand out
looking for another term
to fill your bank account
as you scoff at a grand
in my hand
like it was just dust
in the wind from your lungs
Hot air
Rotten
Rancid
It's disgusting the way you whisper acid
into our ears
every two to four years

You've still got your hands in our pockets
but nobody ever gets a happy ending
do they, Mr congressman?
Do they, Mrs congresswoman?
You split us down the middle
Perfectly parted partisan propaganda
Party lines
Party lies
You're all the same vampires
You're all the same tar pit trap
with a worm at the bottom hungry
for favorable public opinion

about how it's acceptable to **** us
over and over again

Please sir, may I have another?
Excuse me Mrs, may I please
cut the grass at the border?
Can we watch
willingly or not
for an example of how to accomplish nothing
and get paid for it?
Uncle and aunt touchy need their hands chopped off
and I need an endless flow of cold beer
to drink the pain away year after year

Just a hypothetical
but wouldn't it be beneficial
if the government were suffocated by pillows
in our sleep?

I forgot flowers, so I laid down my guns
as a peace offering.
I walked to your side
shrouded in black
Dismal
Destitute
Dismantled
Disheveled

I shoveled the dirt to the side myself
After all,
I was the murderer
I was the maniacal mastermind
Always pacing
Mind always racing
Thumbs always flitting

Some of mine is mine to keep
but I'm really bad at that
so I decided to keep it all
inside myself

Beside myself with loneliness
for quite some time
I decided to dig you up again
Nothing changed
Your opinions still flared
Your pictures still dared
my eyes to glimpse

I found myself void of expression
with the exception of a curled upper lip
Suspended in disbelief
Saturated in thoughtlessness again
Not again
Never again I promised

So I scratched and clawed the surface
Handful
after
handful of earth flung feverishly
behind me until I needed a ladder to climb out

I pushed you back into your hole
The whole of you lie there together
The hole in me didn't close
but your body would rot soon
and all I had to do was keep walking
and leave the corpse behind
as I spent the next few weeks
Clearing my mind
Alone
Secret
Broken
Woken by reality

I never stopped thinking though
I can't
I won't
But I will bury you forever,
and I will grow
and maybe you'll all grow with me.

Not a day goes by
that I don't think about you
Maybe a second
A minute
A couple hours
Those times when
I'm in the shower,
but not a whole day

And when you told me
Not to worry when you
didn't respond right away,
I said okay
Then you didn't talk to me
hardly all day

That's okay
Hey
I'll just back away
Hold tight to what's mine
and if it's not you
well that's okay too

God knows I need some me time
Some get back into my routine time
Some put the phone down,
stop obsessing about someone else's
problems and bring
the focus back to mine time.

This traveler's tripped out
stripped out
on his last loose *****.
The last thing he needs to worry about
Is YOU!
Are you sure that's okay, boo?

That's what's up then.
I really don't have any room in my life
to worry about another hen

I guess I should thank you really
We **** heads anyway.
Willful duo better at opposite ends of the bar
Like bookends hold things together
better
from afar

We'll be okay
I think
someday.
If not, then we'll always have the mountains, eh?

No worries man
Foggy bottoms are
best left a mystery,
since you can't see where you'll land...

If I could save time in a bottle,
I'd pour it all out for my homies
and head back to the store
for some Ben and Jerry's!

Life is full of lemons,
so keep your ******* cherries!
Just hand me the sugar bowl
and spoon me out change for the ferry

Life is pretty scary if you stop
and think about it for awhile
It's filled with emptiness
and fanatics with minds running wild

All I got is a pocket full of loose change,
broken dreams and empty promises
a broken heart and a mix tape
that's full of songs for ostriches

My head is buried in the sand
and...and I can't quite say when I started to care
Has it always been buried here,
or did the tears and fears take away all my air?

I'm just as big of a mess as you are
and I always have been, see?
If you're gonna eavesdrop, better listen and take notes,
else you make all the same mistakes as me.

I wear it on my sleeve
Blacked out
Cracked out
****** ******* mess

I reach out for help
but I miss my mark
and stab a hole in your chest
Grabbing
Ripping
Tearing through the sack

I've got a knack
for crushing chest wounds
I walk worlds withering with decay
Writhing with dismay
Manic with panic and scandal
and death's grip like a handle
Love's laborious little vandal

Your heart isn't on your sleeve
You're a liar and a fake
A dandelion in a garden full of dying flowers
in desperate need of a hard rake

Gray clouds with a cold wind
Your eyes are dark
but your skin is soft and warm
and I could lose myself in you
with a smile and a song
in my once broken heart
but now on the mend

Your taste
Your touch
Your smell
You're like a drug to me
and I'll be left here to chase you
like an old man with a fading memory

You're the one that got a way once
and I hate myself a little
for not getting away with you
There's electricity in lightning
and it shocks me every time
eye see you or hear you talk or laugh

I'm a sucker with a sob story
and you've got the best
ears on the planet
I've known your heart
and I've seen your soul
and it shakes me to my core

I want to capture your tears
I want to quell your fears
and hold you
like a comfy bed in winter's cold
I want to make you smile away
all the bad times and fill you with
the love I kept close to my heart
all these years

I've seen your soul, old friend
It's a little tattered and bruised
around the edges but I don't care
I love you just the same
no matter what...
no matter where

Here lies a poet
who drowned himself in his own *****
Here lies an artist
who painted pictures with syllables
and couldn't keep
the ones he held dearest close to him
for fear of what MIGHT happen

Here lies a passionate priest
of words that fell on closed eyes
and ears already filled with noise
Here lies the black heart of a wordsmith
who died a penniless pauper
because he didn't do things
the way proper

Here lies the bleeding soul
of a man who could
hear lies
for miles and miles
and turn truth onto them
even if it broke his own back

Here I lie all broken hearted
I came to win big
but turned more into a wind bag
Who knows?
Maybe in my next life,
I'll take up sailing

"Not another one!"
Whispering in unison
the worshipers of heroes
gasped
grasping at the unbelievable
truth that behind closed closet doors,
the filth spilled out from underneath the rug
it was swept under

Heard tale that she did terrible things
for a man to be worshipped
Heard tail that she gave him wasn't his first
Heard tale of tails sold for eyes and a silver screen

Technicolor
DTS
Dolby Digital **** kits
passed out
To passed out kids
and women suffered the brunt of it
for low wages and red carpet
for a bit part and a chance
to walk across a stage and thank
all the monsters for ****** her twice

Once in a closet behind closed doors
Once at the bank-backed bounced check

next to a leading man
who stole all of her fame

But alas, my dearest friends
Your heroes aren't dead
They're all begging you
to take the kryptonite
off of them and put them
back into the sunlight
Sometimes
even superheroes need help from regular folk

Bury Hollywood in old console coffins
Use the media as fill dirt
and turn drive-ins into cemeteries
HASHTAGMETOO

A Lover's Prayer

There's a quiet place inside me
I don't know where it is,
but I think I found her years ago
and I love her and I'll never stop
I said I love her and I'll never stop

Stupidity of youth
Oh! How you've cheated me,
but I've cheated myself you know.
I still smell your love and your lust
I've found you again
under the most strangest of circumstances
Under the weight of sorrow's sickness
I bare the weight
I break the restraints
and run to you with mending heart
and open arms
to accept you with all your glory

Forever
And ever
Amen

Barstool outside of Barstow
Desperado
Lonely grotto
Broken soul
What a chip on your shoulder though!

How are you not a hunchback?
You got lonely by the *******!
No debate
There's no arguing that!

Closet full of little boxes
Highly political
I'm full of spikes though
I'm punctual
I stab and cut red tape

I hate
So full of debate I can't stand myself
I'll die all alone
Satisfied
Unbroken
Unchained
Unrelenting
But not uncaring

I'll hold this center line...

There's a field so fertile
that the grass grows green
in the driest of days,
and if anyone saw it,
they would stare
With mouth agape
and eyes full of gaze.

But no one will see it,
even if it's out in plane sight.
No one thought
to stop
and stare
or care
how the green grass would
grow
so
TALL.
Not one person
No one at all.

Nonetheless, I'd cut it every week
And
in return,
it would thank me
in such
subtle ways.
I'd see, and
smile
satisfactory
in my labor.
Happy in my secret service.

No one stopped and stared
No one even cared
But I did
Yes…
I did.

C'mon, man!
Rip it out of you,
throw it on the floor,
and stomp on it.

Cake the hole with
***
Liquor
Netflix
and a wickedly nihilistic view
of how the world works.

Watch the blood gum up
and sputter out the sides
with each step
A sticky right foot
A broken sternum
and a soul all but gone.

What are you doing today?
I'm busy watching the devil
get his due.
I'm wasting worthless, wilting words
on eyes full of planks.
Devious minds
full of tedious pranks.
It's like the whole world stopped
because some ******* broke the crank!
You asked me a question,
but I draw a blank.
Lips in a straight line
devastated by an entire lifetime
wasted building the future
With a chainsaw and a
cooked goose ice sculpture

There's nothing left
but a tub full of rainbow colored water.
There's something about smoke and mirrors
that makes the smoldering hole
in this heaving chest just a little hotter

It's a festering infection
when you're stuck staring
into a lonely crystal ball.
Reaching out for feeling,
but there's no loving
touch to turn it off.
Just a bunch of empty words
and a liar in a mirror.

We're a nation of claws and one liners
Armchair quarterbacks,
pundits,
and unnecessary viciousness

We don't communicate
We spit venom with
thick black forked tongues
coiled in corners of the internet
like little electronic vipers

We're over opinionated
reactionary haters
and unhappy children
who didn't get what they wanted
from mom at the store

We lash out every chance we get
and cut each other up
on a daily like it was nothing
hiding behind a six inch
box full of plastic, glass, and metal parts

We're our own little versions of
our own personal prison's guards
and everyone around us
is an inmate whipping boy
What a wonderful world, eh?

Never knew a sky so bright
Hands high in praise
The silver lining to a million mornings
Til the power went off anyway
Then it was dark again in your own mind

***** dusty ***** soiled dreams
wet with your spit and froth
And you would touch their secrets
without a care or a kind permission given
Without a smile
Just a *****, angry mouth
and a sinister stare

How many hundreds of flowers did you ****?
Stolen sweet scent of beauty
and serenity crushed
with the cascading cocophany
of protesting lips
The quiver and shiver of unsteady vocal chords
When she said no
you locked the doors
put her on all fours
and tainted her petals
with your
salty
oily
filth

And here you are now
with nothing to show but stems
bare and broken in a jagged fashion
You're sorry now with dead petals under your feet
and a foundation that has crumbled at its base
as you slip into a black sea with nothing to show for it
but an angry mob chasing you
to the cold, sobering waters of reality
at the bottom of the cliff
you've been perched on for so long
Your glass shattered by your own boulders

He lived inside of his head
hiding behind music
politics and ****
It was a long lonely life
It was short really

She saw him sitting on a porch drunk
babbling about rock shows
trucks
and trailers and she forgot about
everyone else inside
and they talked for hours
...and they talked for hours....

They fell in lust and in love
and she bought a dump
and married him
They loved each other
but they didn't know why
they just didn't know why...

They sold the money pit
moved
and he changed jobs a couple times
but she was a career woman
and he was jumping jack on fire
and he couldn't sit still
He couldn't even sit still...

There were strangers in their house
It was scary and dark
He covered up for a long cold winter
and drowned himself in ales and stouts
and they stopped talking
they just stopped talking...

But the internet found him
and he found him too
then he found another drink for courage
and spilled his guts all over the floor
She pretended to clean them up
but she swept them under the rug
For six months she swept them under a rug...

Elephants and fermenting guts don't keep well
She pulled the rug up and danced all over him
riding the elephant
China closet catastrophe
So he moved out and she changed the locks
They signed a bunch of useless, expensive paper
Useless, expensive ******* paper...

He crumpled up ten years of marriage
She ignores his texts
They speak electronically
but the electricity is long gone
Not a spark left in the igniter
Just a long cold winter
Just another
long
cold
winter

It's grey outside
and I'm looking for something warm
but all I find is snow covered metal benches
The blood on the top makes me think of cherry slushies

Bare branches break
in a driving wind that relentlessly
pushes me
and my face is a cold stone slab of nothingness
staring out of a dark void
filled to the rim with emptiness

Eyes
so dry
they ain't seen a tear in a month or two
but I'm like Conan as I walk in circles
pushing this stone wheel somebody called life
I get stronger and stronger
til I am the mountain before my mind
and bigger than anything anyone else has ever climbed

I crack a tooth-filled grin
and swing the bat again
cuz even Casey connect wood to ball
every once in a while

But it's so grey and black inside me
I'll find some place to run and hide me
just til this wind dies down a little bit
not a lot
just a little
...****

Welcome to Facebook, friends!
Table or booth?
If you'd like, you can belly up to the bar
and drink til your drunk
There's nobody here to cut you off
when you've had too much

Today's specials include
****** politics
out and out lies
misquoted so called experts
one sided arguments
ever-growing divisiveness
and unnecessarily spilled guts
with cat videos for dessert

Shall I start you off with
today's appetizer special?
We have fried butthurtedness
with a special guilt dip.
think about it, and I'll be back

We're ready to order sir.
We'll have the all you can eat buffet.
Keep the plates coming thanks!

The devil is in your hands
Nickel cadmium to lithium ion
Twenty volts in a flat screen
Charge faster than a kid scream

**** the corn man
Pass the ****!
Live cam news feed
Fox kills the little sheep
while all of tv land
finger ***** little bo peep!

But it's her fault right?
She wanted that money
so her glitz was wide open to glam
Big fats old gold fingers
tantalize the youth with fame
Fantasize
Materialise
Realize the drugs
push past their big dumb
Cattle eyes
and turn a pack of wolves
into a flock of little sheep
All stuck in a little glowing six by six box
Hollywood
D.C.
Different cities
same fox!

Eyes on a screen
and fingers on a keyboard
Mouth in an ear
not necessarily yours

It was just a dream
Some sort of nightmare
that an author imagined
but eyes still stare

Hair standing pricked on goose flesh
but no one is around
Is it paranoia
that has us feeling bound?

A screen and some wires
Someone smoking cigarettes
with a cold cup of coffee
Sharp toes on a web with waiting spinerettes

Always watching keystrokes
with a peculiar curiosity for one's words
Chosen with wild whimsy
but dilegently documented as a personally penned funeral durge

There's no such thing as thin air anymore
No vacuum sending sentences to an empty space
Our words will surely haunt us forever
and everyone of us an operator in cyberspace

Three dogs and another one on her way
Two kids and a house and in-laws
Two brothers and their kids too

I'm the bomb
I'm the grenade
I'm the explosion
leaving nothing but death and destruction behind me

I sit in my sack cloth and ashes
with shards of a heart
still smoldering
Pathetic pity party over stayed its welcome.

Grief is a funny thing,
but nothing to laugh at really
Just something to trudge through
with muddied boots

Doing my best
not to drown anyone else
in my wake
I was the destroyer this time
Next time, someone else
can operate the detonator,
Because I'm done with it.
Next adventure!

Somebody show me how to walk again,
Because I've fallen
and I can't keep from stumbling
Fumbling the ball
and mumbling to no one at all
alone in my car going nowhere

It's a shame I'm in such a shambles
Feel like an ant under a microscope
Crispy critter drowning in my own
molten pile of ******* with a sippy cup
full of broken promises and let downs
It's too late for me now
There's no quarters for clowns
only smiles turned upside down

Would somebody please stop this bus?
I think I want to get off now, ******!

I hate you because you let me go
I hate you because you put me last
I hate you because nostalgia attracted us
and brought us together way too fast.

I hate you because you stole my heart
I hate you because you broke it
I hate you because you were always right
no matter which way I tried to spin ****.

I hate you because I have nothing left but hate
I hate you because I'm angry
I hate you because the mirror won't lie
and...just one time...defend me

The truth is I don't hate you at all
but my heart is infected by sadness
I should've shared my feelings with you
now my mind is infected with madness.

peel the bandage back
beg for cleansing
beg for mercy
beg for attention,
but you shy away from the sting

The violin used to play for you,
but strings once stretched
dangle now
broken and frayed
as your left afraid of your own face

Your shaking shadow tip toes around you
where everyone can see
not you
not now
not even as the ground trembles
underneath your timid toes

It's not a devil that stalks you
it's not some shapeless, wispy ghost
that floats
behind you and makes your hair stand up
It's tangible truth tickling your comfort
and freezing out your warm spot

She is a monster that does not hide
She walks your path with you
waiting
plotting
excited for the day you turn around and look
in the mirror so that she can devour you

Bad
Good
Bad
Good
Bad
Good
I stabbed the ****** in its throat
And wrote
My own version of good!

Tick tock
went the clock
on the wall
Eat a fat ****,
father time!
You ain't no
father of mine!

God gave you a book?
Well, he gave me my mind,
And it constantly reminds me
to take another look!

Oh!  Here's your clock back homie.
I don't need it anymore.
Smash the things that bind you....

Brightly colored sky
blinding kindly through a ***** windshield
Warm hands contrast the cool night air
Soft and soothing
Gently smoothing away all the rough edges of me

Driving into the sun and surf and quiet
The sleepy salty sand dunes cast dancing shadows
against an indian summer night
My melting mind is rarely quelled, but quiet tonight
A welcomed brake from a broken week

Smiles
laughs
and good company go well with friendly photos
A marsh bird flies and rolls the credits
while the others gather for the night's jovial laughter

But me?
I drive home alone
smiling still somehow with a sense of hope
that all will end well....

A shell
A husk tossed into the drift
Discarded and left to float
All alone in a sea of cold breakers

The insides were ablaze once,
Now burnt to cinders.
You'd never know that there was once a glow there
A spark
A heart
And now bled out
And dried up
That which was not eaten by the wolves
Or ****** up by maggots

Even the great ocean cannot quell
The anxious spirits that
leap laughingly at the furrowed
coal-like chasms that are but ghosts in this shell;
Blood lust in their flared nostrils
As they dance in victory
Over the emptiness.

Where once stood a great and mighty beast of a man
Now stands a silent statue of a
frowning clown left
brooding
Weeping
Teeth sharpened once,
But left flat from gnashing.

I am this husk
And I am left empty
With nothing left to do while dying....

This rock
Spinning in its orbit around God
With oceans full of souls
And souls full of
wishes,
wants,
and whispers
so shallow like a baby's breath.

I've toiled and fought
and loved
and lusted
and lived seething secretly
in a seemingly impenetrable fog
and once the sun came out
the secrets were all gone but not forgotten

They were carved into stone
and torn into the flesh of me
And while I sat
stuttering
and muttering
in a drunken mess,
the sun came out once more upon this rock
and showed the perfect skin
was nothing more than old leather
cracked and craggy and full of holes
So many holes that my rib fell out and tumbled away.

There I sat upon this rock
with God and sun and sorrow
There I lay dying with a wet face
and the belief that there really was no tomorrow,
yet a spark was still in me somehow
Or perhaps it was just a soothing thought
that gave me a sense of peace even if just for now
that even though my fate seemed bought
there were still more lessons I would be taught
and more things for me to do while dying.

Been walking a knife's edge
with ****** feet
slipping
sliding
to one side or the other
Either way is a fall
and a skinning
and a death

There's no life left
in a last breath,
so I'll tie this loose end
around this pole and
finally prove that we can all float down Here!

Besides, the same people toe tapping to good times
are the same ones
tap dancing on dead men's gravestones,
so **** it!
Y'all can grab somebody else's legs at the top of this ***.

I'm done.
Seen the world through American eyes
It's a world filled with
violence,
slander,
and lies.
You can beat that thing that's between your thighs
til you're old and gray.
*****, feel free!
I'm jumping off this stool to see
what's waiting behind door number three.
You can talk all ******* day,
but I won't hear you anymore
and neither will
you
hear
me...

Missing
Maybe lost
Situation unclear
It's a mystery now, but I miss you
and I wish you were hear.

I don't know where you went off to,
but I'm okay
and I wish the same for you
Maybe we can hang out
again someday…

I see the world the same way
I always did,
except I don't expect to get my liver pickled
just to get some laughs and eat a burger
or ride a bike and catch some fresh air.
Sobriety feels a little bit like I've been murdered….

But maybe it's just growing up though.
Whatever it is,
I ******* hate it;
look like a stranger in my
own
home
town

It's not all bad.
I mean I still got my best friend sleeping next to me
and I still got
my dogs
my kids
my health
and a job to keep me busy,
so….

I guess this lonely guy ain't so lonely
I guess I'm just bored
I guess I'm just missing invitations.
Maybe there just haven't been any.
Maybe everybody's scared
that I won't react well to company
without being *******,
blacked out drunk,
throwing chunks of memory to the wind
and my life to the nine hells.

Well, at least I've got what I've got.
Some people have way less you know?
Guess I'll paint a picture smiling
Over reality’s frown.
Guess I'm just having an up day that's a little down.

From one thing to another
Molded
Formed
Stretched out across an expanse

Shifting to shape' s surface
Whatever service it is
Appearing stagnant, but never really quite still
I evaporate and reform upon your window's sill

Sometimes I never really leave
Still others never remember seeing me,
but I'm there nonetheless
Through thick and thin,
smooth sailing and choppy stress

I'm never afraid to stay or leave
Whether I gather upon the tip of a leaf
or blade of grass
or rain down upon all of Earth's creeks and crags,
for I am like water,
and I'll always be back for another dance...

There's a galaxy in Orion's belt
A cats paw
caught in a catchpaw
with a glass eye that sees all

Come one come all
Everybody knows
see saws are no fun alone
and a dog's day is destitute without his bone

Nowadays, nobody can
solve a problem
without a little help
from a smartphone

But back in my day,
phones were much dumber
and if you wanted to get a hold of somebody,
You had to hold onto a number
and keep it locked up safe
inside your head away from
all the other useless clutter

But all this technology
We're so proud of
has landed us in the same spot in the stars

We're all still standing here smiling at
at our tiny little screens
ignoring all of the rest of the world
with all of their silent screams
while the galaxy still sits;
safely tucked away in Orion's belt,
and we walk on by;
Comfortably oblivious
to just how small we really are...

Ghosts walk these streets
The remnants of conflicts
of the past
Blood was spilled for soil
and the spoils
of war are baked beans
hotdogs
hamburgers
and coleslaw

The ghosts smile at the
peace,
passing through the streets
filled with the smell of
food and good times

These ghosts fought hard
and died well

Never let their egos swell
past the pins and medals fastened
to their chests

Never sat in judgement over
the mirth and laughter had
at their expense

Never reveled in boastful pride
or worried whether anyone
remembered why they died

But to be happy in their deaths
that the living could be
thankful
greatful
and speak kind words with their breaths

For judgement about how
someone spent a Sunday sulking
to the extent
of how history would affect
the macaroni and cheese
was for the living to worry about

A lot could be learned from a ghost
if we stilled our beating hearts to listen
if we let those be what they will be
and worry about me
instead of thee

Some light candles and say a prayer
Some light grills with no frills.
Some put their feet up and sleep
happy for the extra day off.

These ghosts smile similarly
upon all of them contentedly
happy to see
that they died a death of honor
so that we could live free.

Ghosts walk these streets
The remnants of conflicts
of the past
Blood was spilled for soil
and the spoils
of war are baked beans
hotdogs
hamburgers
and coleslaw

The ghosts smile at the
peace,
passing through the streets
filled with the smell of
food and good times

These ghosts fought hard
and died well

Never let their egos swell
past the pins and medals fastened
to their chests

Never sat in judgement over
the mirth and laughter had
at their expense

Never reveled in boastful pride
or worried whether anyone
remembered why they died

But to be happy in their deaths
that the living could be
thankful
greatful
and speak kind words with their breaths

For judgement about how
someone spent a Sunday sulking
to the extent
of how history would affect
the macaroni and cheese
was for the living to worry about

A lot could be learned from a ghost
if we stilled our beating hearts to listen
if we let those be what they will be
and worry about me
instead of thee

Some light candles and say a prayer
Some light grills with no frills.
Some put their feet up and sleep
happy for the extra day off.

These ghosts smile similarly
upon all of them contentedly
happy to see
that they died a death of honor
so that we could live free.

Blistered ego like a fractured egg
All the shoes fit,
so you walked out the store with a hundred empty boxes
and a broken twelve step program with your **** on hurt

Worried about words when
you really didn't have any to begin with
Just a picture with some meaningless *******
in one hand and spit in the other,
and when you clapped,
you got a
******
spitty
face

But I didn't mean to upset you
Not really though
I should've stuck to my plan in the first place
and iced this birthplace
of rage
and wrote a poem about it the next day

But what the **** do you want from me anyway?
I'm only human
Born to make mistakes,
but I'll drive this stake
through your heart with a tongue dagger
I'll say what I feel so hard it'll make you
stagger
and stutter step backwards
like "That guy's got some nerve!!!"

Sometimes I'm a butterfly
kissing you on the cheek sweetly
Other times I'm a fly on a brick wall listening
Still other times I'm the brick in your head glistening
with your drool
and your five mile stare
of disbelief that I would dare
hit you with the truth

No worries though
I only act like this on days that end in "Y"
You'll be okay
or you won't
All that really matters is that I'm gonna sleep good tonight...


regardless

My heart goes out to all the victims
of circumstance
Bombs bursting
Flesh torn to a tattered mess
Blood spattered
Sidewalks full of brain matter
and bones splintered
into nothing more than pick up sticks

In a world crying
and dying
for remorse,
all we see is your face
Staring
and uncaring
A toothy grin lights your dark visage
and your word for word interpretation
of your puny god's message
to dispatch the souls of the infidel
like trees felled
in a forest for not being hard enough

Just what are you trying to do?
You're all kookoo
for cocoa puffs
and the band plays along
to your song
too afraid to pass judgement
too afraid to get it wrong

You should know
that there are those of us
sitting
waiting
in the shadows
juggling our hammers
ready to lay hands of retribution on you
Just as soon as somebody says GO!
For thine eyes are filled with hate
and blood lust
and our hammers will fall for you

My heart goes out to all the victims
of circumstance
Bombs bursting
Flesh torn to a tattered mess
Blood spattered
Sidewalks full of brain matter
and bones splintered
into nothing more than pick up sticks

In a world crying
and dying
for remorse,
all we see is your face
Staring
and uncaring
A toothy grin lights your dark visage
and your word for word interpretation
of your puny god's message
to dispatch the souls of the infidel
like trees felled
in a forest for not being hard enough

Just what are you trying to do?
You're all kookoo
for cocoa puffs
and the band plays along
to your song
too afraid to pass judgement
too afraid to get it wrong

You should know
that there are those of us
sitting
waiting
in the shadows
juggling our hammers
ready to lay hands of retribution on you
Just as soon as somebody says GO!
For thine eyes are filled with hate
and blood lust
and our hammers will fall for you

It's cool to see all my friends get older
All that grey in their beards
Laugh lines and crows feet
creeping away from their faces

Life's at noon and lunch is on the table
Youth's slipping away,
but dinner still seems a far distance
and the bell has yet to be rung

I see sunshine slipping in through open doors
and a warm breeze envelopes us
as we laugh and talk over a sandwich
even though we're so far away from each other

There will be dark clouds and storms to weather
There will be tears and sadness in our hearts,
but they will be fleeting and short lived
as long as we stick together

Pictures of kids and stories of our own youth
keep us young
Our memories of the good times are just waiting
to be overwritten by better ones yet to come

We're in the twilight of our lives,
but there's a full moon in the sky
When it's dark and cold don't be afraid!
The sun will rise on us again to
warm our hearts and ease our minds
of the troubles of dark and stormy nights

We will dine together one last time
and we will cross life's last line
under a star filled sky
Smiling
Laughing
Loving
Celebrating our friendship
as we gracefully slip into the great unknown...
together