The winds were quiet and peaceful
The streams cool and
running slowly through the reeds
and the lily pads frogless for the time being

Yet with all of the still waters
something stirs
Something whirs and wriggles
inside of this tin man
something shakes and shivers

Once cold, calculating
red slits
are now twinkling with amber
like the comet filled sky
throwing celestial fits

Grinding gears grabbing steel
and wire mesh
have lost the robot to
the sound of His timing
and blood's liquidy swish

At first, we were at a loss
and our worldly metallic friend
questioned his feelings
and thought this was surely the end

Until one day when
he shed his first tear
and the rust on his face plate
began to disappear

It was a miracle we decided
beyond a shadow of a doubt
This once mechanical being
With joy in its eyes began to shout.

We welcomed him to the world
with his sharp robotic eyes
as they softened to a glow,
His now heart-filled chest
full of love instead of lies

The metal scale began to drift away
and this machine was now man
who now looked at every new day
With brighter eyes
and a new love for which to stand.

It's so easy
to go right out
turn my back
walk away
My soul’s been sold
a million times
What's one more
stupid dime?

Walked this way
for so long
One foot out
to trip myself
Eat concrete
Head all hurt
Another drink
Forget about all of you!

I'm the rebel in black and blue!
A rebel who burned his clue!
Stairs with a broken step!
If I don't get up, I'll drink myself to death!

Cat's away
Time to play
**** my friends
Don't need amends
Serve myself
Die alone
in my home
or in the street

I'll get online
show my behind
Wake up hurt
It's all fine
Delete last night
no big deal
I'll forget about how I feel!

I was the rebel in black and blue!
Drunken fighter without a clue!
Waking up to fix this step!
I won't drink myself to death!

I can go for days at a time,
sometimes even weeks,
feeling great or even just okay.  

But then,
outta nowhere and for no good reason at all,
I just want to pull the trigger.  
And it comes and it goes just like that
(that being snapping fingers).  

I wonder if that's what happened
with that girl who shot herself
in traffic in Chesapeake yesterday?  
Was it one of those moments of weakness,
a millionteenth traffic ticket
on top of an end of a relationship cake,
dipped in confusion about her
newly discovered ****** preference
that she'd covered up all of her life?  
Was she in a program?  

Sometimes...
even if it's just for a split second...
I know her.  

Sometimes...
I am her and she is me
and all either of us really need
is a hug,
a kiss on the top of the head or on a cheek,
and a breathy whisper in our ear from
someone
anyone
who would tell us
"It's gonna be okay, child...
Everything is gonna be alright...."

Controller roller coaster
off the rails
down some off-beaten
path in a forest full of broken trails

****** nails bent and broken
down a splintered cross
just to find out we're wrong
and that we can't be our own boss

We'll cut our losses and plug back in
But what does it matter then?
If all that was me is so deeply flawed,
Then what is this ground worth that I've clawed?
They say to throw my hands up
and give it all to God

I'll be the machine man made
of flesh and guilty bones
ruled by brightly burning images
from screens in comfy homes

Charcoal grills and girls on fire for *******
and a head full of guilty pleasures
Life in a loveless void of
meaningless madness
sadness
and half measures

But I am the machine
man made for fleshy,
guilty pleasures
and something else entirely
sleeps at the wheel…
phoning in direction
and they run me.
Im automatic….

I've done it again!
But for the last time!
Frittered and fretted my soul
to its end
I've homed in and fired upon most of my friends
Awakened with bitterness, hands full of frayed ends

But I'll put it back up on its side
I'll fire the light back into my mind
Replacing the missing stars from my skies
Lowering the rudder back into rough seas
Resetting this course to the discovery of me!

Right all the wrongs on my side of the street
Bite on the bit to bare all of life's lashes
Wipe off the tears
Crush all the fears
Turn it around  before it all crashes!
because this is a fight against time
This is a fight against worry and mine
eyes are the vessels of all that can be
and I'll focus on the future that
I WANT TO SEE!

Teetering on the edge of a precipice
prefaced by an ominous gaggle
of creaking timbers and the wafting
of rot from such great lows

The scene was drab and dark and typical
Nothing mystical or mysterious
about the drizzle or the salty spray
from a far off dark sea

The gulls gathered garishly
hungry with white plumage
that seemed unapologetic to the
plight of those still standing atop the heap

Iron tickled at their nostrils
while bits of gore fell from great heights
as the sea birds did their best
to clean up the rotting flesh

But the onlookers still gathered
placing pressure on the rest
to take the leap
into the heap
below

Where the wind would no longer blow
and the decomposers triumphed
under victory over humanity's last breath

While wanderers wondered what came first,
the eggs all cracked under the pressure
and the violence
and the rage
and the bitter anger won the day
while death laughed at gender
and gorged itself on equality
giving the ultimate soliloquy
on peaceful serenity

Flowers and honeysuckle
grew from their skulls
and their rib cages became
such beautiful lattices for the ivy
Finally!
Something good grew from humanity!

I'll write a poem about you
and when I'm through,
I'll crumble it up,
round file it,
and set the whole thing on fire
way before anyone sees it

I hate you because you shame me
Every time I think about you
My stomach churns
Every time I scribble out a few sentences
I'm embarrassed about those written words

I'm such a liar anyway
and all I ever do with poetry
is betray myself with that truth
All I ever do with stanzas
is demonstrate my
complete lack of couth

My meaningless mouth mixing metaphors
with grit and grime
and words that
send serious shivers down the filthiest sailor’s spine

Even when I try to behave myself
I **** it up somehow
and write you wrong
I mean I'm so ******* clever man
Really
Sometimes I say **** that
makes me want to slap myself silly
And for what?
A couple of likes and kudos
from friends and strangers
that get fished in for friendship
that may or may not be real

You feeling me?
I'm glad somebody is
because I'm not
I'm glad you're here, because I'm lost
I'm hooked on some fleeting feeling
I'm hooked by some frail fallacy
of who I'm supposed to be
Vs
who I really am

I gotta be honest though
I really just don't know
My hands are in stick up mode
I surrender
Please don't shoot

At the end of it,
I guess I'm just me
so that's who I'll be
Don't pull the curtains just yet *****
I'll figure this mystery out soon enough
...you'll see