i'm all that your memory could have ever been.
you knew it as soon as you laid eyes on me.
i ****** you in, held on tight,
and ****** you up.
because I could.
that's all I ever knew.
all I ever know, now...

you let me tear you apart,
silently, selfishly, stephanie.
i think you were right all along.
and i never knew myself.
how comfortable
and powerful i could become.
but i knew the lingering effects
of my soft whispers in your ear.
come, ****, me.
i used them to eat you up.
i didn't even like the taste.

and all your memories are of me now,
your past and future are a single coexistence
of nothing.
i make you blind, in all aspects.
you still can't see the pieces of you
falling everywhere
and spelling out my name.

i said, "i can't imagine-
91 years old."

my lungs are scarred
and the fear is over
but lingering, still.

i miss being held
in such a way that
you sort of forget
the origin of sin
and all the troubles that were
cast over you,
disappear in a light,
drizzle of a rain.

all i want is to be
called sweet and ***** names-
under blankets,
in between the chaos
of life,
after kisses,
during war
and in lieu of peace.

i want a stare so intense
that it will make me forget
the lack of innocence
that was my childhood.

give it to me.
fill the void.
**** living forever.