Once I was a shade,
merely passing through,
treading lightly
through each passing day,
desperately careful
to leave no footprints
in the soft morning sand,
pale & cool,
nor to disturb
the perfect mirror of
the obsidian sea,
giving of myself
to no one,
nothing past
one more
bitter casualty
of love's cruel game.
I know not whether
you first caught
my heart or my hand,
but you've saved me
and this tragedy of
my past was
so quickly lost in your eyes
as your strong hands
so easily tear down
the walls of
my carefully crafted
fortress of solitude
brick by brick,
blinding me with
your light & giving
to me a new life,
for even in the
the moments
I fear I may still
be broken,
you show me
just how well
you fill
my every
missing piece.

Like Icarus
my waxen wings
have melted
but by no fault
of my own.
One can't fly
too near the sun
with veins
laden with concrete
and a heart
of stone
carved by such wicked
hands as your own
knotted and disfigured
by the disease
you inflict.
And I can
see in your eyes
the longing for mine,
smooth and soft,
a gentle touch
you shall
never again know.
And though my fear
drives my to flee
here I remain
like Prometheus bound
by my transgression
bittersweet poison
dewed upon my lips.
But none of it for you
as I know
you set me up to fall
like an angel
cast from the heavens
and fall I shall
into the abyss
of this unknown
and though my body
may be shattered
and my spirit torn
I shall walk
with my eyes
to the sky
the sun's warm caress
and quiet strength
urging me on
until I can
bear your burden
no more.

I thought this love
Was the forever kind
Eternity ours for the taking
Fated by the gods
Written in the stars
Destiny bound to be fulfilled
But now I can see
How blind love made me
The fairy tale was never true
Your lies the apothecary’s
Poison dewed and bittersweet
Upon my barren lips
For yours love,
Is the kiss of death.
More potent than even
The apothecary’s own store
For not one soul
Shall weather this
Tumultuous storm
But your own
In selfish preservation
Your salvation found.
My mind clouded
Into believing
By the sweet
Intoxication of emotion
You shall never know
In your heart of stone,
So pure and lethal
For love brings death
Upon swift wings.

Hello stranger
Its crazy to see
That time has passed
As though it
Failed to exist
This moment
Suspended in
Its hideous perfection
Preserved, unchanging
Just as painful
As the wound
Freshly inflicted
An ugly scar
Torn open
One too many times
Hello stranger
Is it me you’re looking for?
I’ve left that place behind
And I don’t live here anymore
I only said goodbye
So I could live my life
I knew you made your choice
And it left me high and dry
Without your love.
Hello stranger
I watched you walk away
Through tear filled eyes
And how I cried
But I stayed behind
To try and let you find
All that you need
The things I couldn’t be
Hello stranger
The person I once knew has gone away
To a place I’ll never know
And I’m reminded each day
Of all I’ve lost
Never to be whole
Or find my way.
I'm too far gone.

In that place of perfection
Long gone and past,
I left my heart and
I lost myself
In the setting sun
And grains of sand,
Finally letting go
Of all that made me blind
And seeing
For the first time
A new road that
Lay before me
Pure and untrodden
Meant only for
My weary feet
To touch and
Leave footprints
Upon this sand.
Meant for no cars to pass
Nor wheels to tread
For this journey
Will make haste
For no one
Nor wait for time
To catch up.
Meant for me to
walk alone
with no fear
to hold me unmoving
nor queues to
impede my progression
Yet room enough
For a hand to hold
Or a smile to be shared
Amongst friends
And under aimless stars shining.
And before our very eyes
As we sit to rest
Our wandering souls
And listen to the waves break
A new sun does rises.

Two lost souls
in each other found
but for only a moment
fleeting and cruel
for nothing in this life shall last.
Each time I am punished
for sweet folly
in which I know I am
reckless to indulge
but hope is my poison
and a high I cannot forfeit.
I trick myself to escape
regret over the walls,
once my steadfast fortress,
which I let crumble and decay
so that I wear my pain plainly
as testimony to my recklessness.
My tears fall, not only for the future I know
we no longer have chance to possess,
but also for the past:
a time in which I felt I was enough.
Maybe the flaw can be found
within my own nature,
a restlessness only a gypsy soul
will ever know
married to unwavering expectation
that the standard by which
I conduct my own action
is fair to desire in return.
All of this I think
in the dark hours
of midnight
as you sleep soundly, my love,
while alone I sleeplessly weep
with the realization of the fact
that all you will ever give me of love
is the same I've always known.

I can look towards the sun
and leave the past where it belongs,
telling myself that each piece
of the puzzle of myself
is a necessary part
of the greater scheme.

I can tell myself that
what I know is enough,
that I do all I can
to start each day with intention,
but that does not change the fact
that my feet grow tired
and my eyes lids as heavy
as my soul.

I can try all I want
to expedite accomplishment
and fashion a legacy
worth leaving behind,
but I cannot change the fact
that I am only one person
and I cannot keep up with
the speed at which time moves.

Despite these things,
I continue to dream,
drawing strength from the fact
that I know I am not alone in this.
I may never learn,
but someday I will teach....
the past is proof enough that I can change.

I admit that
you've stripped me
of all I once was,
tearing away
each layer I
so carefully created
and clung to
with such brazen
irreverence and zeal,
but though I stand before you
naked and weak
I feel no shame
for that one
small victory
shall be mine
to own and embrace
lest it be
my sole possession,
for this time
you shall not win
and tear my heart
from my body,
a gruesome trophy
to place upon your mantle
with all the molded metal
and feigned smiles,
for from the ruin
you have left
in the wake of your
obscenity, like
the phoenix
from the ashes
I shall rise
with wings of flame.
A creature unknown
to this wanton world
in which I fail to exist
or to any other,
destined to become
just another
casuality on the
hands of the world.

And your love is like
The change of the seasons,
A warm sun
Its friendly glow
Luring the unwary
To a security undeserved,
A safety feigned
In selfish indulgence,
The beauty blinding
The trusting,
Dazzled by the magnificence
But I can see
The rage of the storm
Approaching in the fury
Of the angry, grey clouds
Bringing the death
Of this illusion
On swift, merciless wings
Taking life from
Those who once found
Such solace
As now that sun
Has gone
Abandoning the fruitless
Hope that is held
Devastating as a disease
The pure white snow
A clever disguise
Its true perfection
Hideous in its flawless form
Lost in translation
A mere shade
Of what once was
Sinking slowly
Into desolate despair
To place so low
It is to be known by no other
But rather is to be saved
Only for my wretched bitter eyes
Staved with mockery
And falsities sublime.

The frigid air chills my skin
Its bitter its caress
Wrapping my skin
In its bone thin fingers
This I know
But I remain unfeeling
Just as I seem untouched
By the sun’s warm glow
Not even this light
Can thaw stone
Or give life back to the dead.
And I find myself
Cringing away from
The harsh cruelty
Of the day that is breaking
Like some twisted creature
Contorted by pain
Crippled and ****** to roam
The barren bowls of the earth
Searching in vain
For something unknown
Aware that it will never be found
Sheltered from the harsh eyes of judgment
Hating me for each futile breath I take
The darkness becomes me baby
Can’t you see I wear it well?