29/4/14

I have the urge to spill my tears in hopes that their sadness will absorb some of my own

For I am not the embodiment of beauty. I am a lesser being, I conform only to the standard named 'average' . (and I can see)

No straight, natural-style hair
Tanned skin, white teeth, big eyes. Non compatible

But non compatible with the other side of pretty
Frail, fragile and magical. Pale skin and paler hair, collarbones and wrists.

Unexceptional and desperately mediocre (and I can see)

Revolving around this society's mentality that beauty is a set thing, and of course it is (I can see)

I spill my tears

a few months back I went through a phase of writing down things I saw and felt happening around me. I looked back at them today and wanted to post them somewhere- I don't really know why, or how long I'll do this, or who will read it. I don't even know if it's considered poetry- but yeah; these are my 4am ramblings and in-school escapes that I happened to write down on my phone.

I like disjointed sentences with no apparent correlation
and lower case letters to soften each blow

ill

the dull ache that spreads from within
drooping eyelids

eat and regret , on repeat
catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and throw it away and think of everything that's wrong and throw it away

burning throat, closing, constricting inwards.
an over-active mind, my enemy

and I can already feel the maggots crawling over my skin and burrowing into my body

my leg won't stop jumping and I'm still alive

windowsills littered with tiny corpses
darting in the whites of my eyes

reptile-skin shedding more each day
scaly + disgusting
add it to the list

fear teaches us not to trust and forces us to think
something to be practiced more often before our planet becomes polluted with stupidity
aliens would laugh.

23/1/14

bruised skies casting purple shadows
A glimpse of orange reflected in the window opposite
empty streets, empty cars

and i can taste the lie even as it leaves my lips
because it's awkward and uncomfortable when it's just us like this

when you've gone I look up
the world is the same, but I am so not

wrapped up in my tiny sense of reality and it's awful