She never sleeps!
She is has no time
For mortal rest,
For the timeless bliss of a
Mortal's dream.
Her fate is, each day,
To encircle the world,
On swift feet,
For eternity,
Until the Sun
No longer burns bright
In the heavens,
And darkness, sadly,
reigns supreme.

She is forever trapped
Between night and day,
In the narrow, moving corridor
That separates the two.
Wherein, she spreads
Her fingertips of rose
And kisses the world's eyes open
With her pink, soft light.
She does this each morning
For us,
As she once did for Odysseus
And his brave crew
As they headed home
From Troy, victorious,
And lost.

She stirs all of us who sleep,
Either gladly in our dreams,
Frightened in our nightmares,
Or those who lie sleepless,
Alone and lonely in the dark.
Responding to your kiss of
Light and warmth,
We awake to face yet another day
Of our impermanence.
However, once gripped by
Cold, dark death,
We will never reawaken,
To feel again, at first light,
Your warm sweet lips
On our cheeks.

Some will greet you with joy
In appreciation of a new day,
While others,
Trapped in pain
Will curse you,
In anticipation
Of more of yesterday's
Joyless suffering,
Hoping for the light
To finally go out
Forever.

Awaken me from my slumber,
My wondrous Goddess.
Rescue me once again
From my unwelcome solitude,
And let me fear not
Another day of light.
I promise to embrace it anew,
As another unique and
Precious gift
From you!

You may at times feel
Broken,
Lost,
Inadequate,
Incompetent,
Ugly,
Stupid,
Insigni­ficant,
Invisible,
Helpless,
Hopeless,
Etc...,
During the unexpected detours
In your life,
Just as I have felt
In mine,
Just as many sometimes feel
In theirs.

However, Take heart,
My dear Emma!
Please always remember that:

You will always have
A hand to hold,
A shoulder to cry on,
A pair of arms to hug you,
A pair of ears to listen to you,
A mind to try to understand you,
And most of all,
A heart to empathize with you,
As you trudge though those
Unbeaten and challenging paths
In your life!

This, I promise you.
You can always count on me!
From now on, you will never travel alone.
We will always travel together,
At least in spirit.

Waking up this morning,
My half asleep eyes noticed
The trees outside my window.
They had picked this particular day
To start their buds to blooming!

Trees have blossomed this way,
Every Spring
For millions of years,
To continue their benevolent
Reign of beauty and grace
On Earth.

What are a few months time,
In the overall scheme of things,
That we have left to wait,
To see thy white blossoms blooming,
And smell thy sweet fragrance,
O daughter of the desert?

Whenever the flame
Of your candle
Is blown out by
The gusts of
A passing storm,
I hope that
Someone like me
Will always be there
To relight it
For you.

Letting go of
Dreams and
Desires,
Giving one's self away,
One discovers that
In the death of Wanting,
Needing, Grasping,
The Whole World,
Clouds, Trees, Rocks,
Moon and Sun,
Is one's Inheritance,
Just
Waiting to be
Claimed
By no one,
By everyone!

It's so hard to believe
That we are each so amazing and wonderful!

It takes someone else, it seems,
To awaken us from our nightmares of
Being so much less than what we are.

We kiss each others eyes open
With our love,
And in doing so,
we awaken each other to
Our true, whole, glorious selves!

Hide not in shame from me
The darker sides of you.
They are merely shadows
Of your imagination, not real!
The more you hide them,
The darker they will look.
They are only the parts of you
Yet to be exposed
To the illuminating light
Of Love.

Trust me, Darling,
You are beautiful to me!
Your dark sides
Are no darker than mine,
No darker than anyone elses.
Once they are brought
Into the light of my accepting,
Unconditionally loving gaze,
Your shadows will recede
Into your imagination,
From where they were born.

Standing naked before me,
You will finally discover
All the beauty that is contained
In the lights and darks
Within yourself.

She spends her days
In a house of mirrors.
Each image is real, yet
Each is false.
Each image is
Reflected into
Her frightened eyes
By a mirror, warped
And twisted, by
Past beliefs that are not,
And never were,
True.

She can't see her own
Wondrous Light
Beauty and,
Immeasurable
Worth,
Something we each possess
As human beings,
To shine on each other,
And light up our world.
These mirrors she constructed
Constantly and consistently
Lie to her, and she only sees a
Pathetic, worthless failure
In them.

Where might she find
A true reflection
Of herself in this
House of false reflections?
Perhaps in
The eyes of those who
Care about her, and
Love her?
There she might glimpse the truth
About her real, whole self.
A truth she
Dares not discover,
For fear that it will just be
A confirmation of
What she already knows:

That she is an unlovable monster
With nothing of any value
In herself
To offer anyone!

Why is it so much easier for many of us,
Like her,
To live with the certainty of painful lies,
And punish ourselves for what we are not,
Than risk the uncertainty of
Glimpsing the unknown truths
About our unknowable selves?

I  am holding you...
I  am making you feel better now...
I am telling you things will be okay...
I am comforting you now...
I feel your love for me...
I am loving you
Now...

You can't always see the
Sun through the clouds,
But it is certainly
Always shining.
You can't always feel
People loving you,
But their love
Is still there
For you!

Te amo!
Ich liebe dich!
Je t'aime!

Simple words,
Powerful words!

Words that can heal
And nurture,
Both the speaker and the listener!

But unfortunately,
Only if they are
Truly sincere!

I miss our long, lingering talks at night,
When time flies by like the wind!
I miss your smile, so sweet as honey,
Your deep, dark, soulful eyes, that I dive into,
Your oh so cute, enchanting face, that captivates me,
Like a deer in the headlights,
Your bold, red rimmed glasses,
That tease me, ever so gently, my friend!
I miss the soft, low sound of your voice,
So soothing to my ears, yet
So stimulating to my beating heart.
I miss your restless tumbling in space,
As you struggle to stay in one place!
But most of all, although we may never meet,
I miss our minds, our hearts, our spirits,
So entwined by platonic love,
Hopefully
Defying all time and space,
For Eternity.

Dreaming of a different kind of
Conversation,
Using our naked bodies,
Entwined in mounting passion,
We tenderly, silently
Surrender to each other.

Getting lost in each others eyes.
Lips kissing lips,
Tongues tasting, licking,
Hands caressing and massaging,
Bodies joining at the pelvis.
You, welcoming me
Into yourself.
Me, giving myself
To you.
Lovers becoming one.

And as the storm outside rages,
The silence in your bedroom is
Broken only by moans of pleasure,
And occasional whispers of
"I Love You".
As lust rages within us.

Lyssandra works as a manager
From behind the counter
At the local bakery and café
On my quiet, little street.

Her mind is full of youthful energy,
Dreams and ambition.
She knows what she wants!
She clearly sees where the line is drawn
Between Right and Wrong, Good and Evil,
What should and shouldn’t be.

In short, Lyssandra is
The very opposite of me!
My aged mind is full of blurry lines,
Just waiting to be crossed.
My dreams are gone, my ambition, lost.
How we got to like each other
And sometimes even empathize,
We will never know.

I will miss annoying her,
Teasing her, and then,
Repeatedly apologizing to her
For my many transgressions,
And for the endless narration
Of my morally questionable life.  

For Alas, all good things
Must come to an end!
Lyssandra is leaving us.
She will never again have to fear
What nonsense might fly out of my mouth
While others are patiently
Waiting to be served.

Dear Lyssandra, you will never be replaced.
You will forever leave a space
In my dark, slightly twisted, but
Well intentioned heart,
Where you once paced
From behind the counter
At the local bakery and café,
On my quite, little street.

Thanks for coming by today!
Your grinning faces made me smile
Much more than the Sun that warmed the air
And turned the sky blue,
On this wonderful Spring day.

You, you were the thermal my heart
Was apparently waiting for,
To carry it aloft,
Like a red tailed hawk
And soar!

In other words,
You two made my day!

Thinking of the many people
That have walked through here,
Stayed a while,
Seemingly excited about being here,
Making meaningful connections
With others of like mind and spirit,
Excited to have found something new,
Perhaps an oasis in the desert?

Then left without a word,
Without even a goodbye!
Where did they go?
Why did they go?
Didn't they find
Anything
Of Lasting Value
Here?

Perhaps just a stepping stone
To something better
Would be of some
Consolation...

I am very grateful
For the few that have stayed!
Or at the least, the ones that
Cared enough
To say
Goodbye!

Thank you, Sue,
For being the first
To answer my call for help,
For being the first
To want to understand me
Through and through
And see and hear my suffering
From my point of view.

Thanks
For unconditionally accepting
And even appreciating
The shameful parts of myself
I tried to hide away
For so long from the world,
Especially from
Myself.  

Thanks
For holding my hand
As together, we explored
My version of childhood,
My personal nightmare,
And changed it for the better.
For letting me see what happened
To everyone, not just to me,
From a new perspective,
A wiser, more caring one
Than I ever had before.

Thanks
For not trying to change me,
Although I begged you
With your magic wand
To make me become
Someone else, anyone
But the inferior person
That I was convinced
I was
From birth.

Thank you for letting me see myself
Though your loving,
Compassionate eyes,
For teaching me how to
Forgive those who I believed
Had hurt and wronged me,
Especially myself,
The hardest one of all
To forgive.

Thanks for showing me
That my painful self image
That made me suffer so,
Never is, nor ever was,
the same as me,
But rather, a self portrait
Badly painted,
A gross distortion
Of my true self.
Somehow, you showed me
That there was nothing
inherently wrong with me,
Although
I had spent a lifetime
Trying to discover
All my imperfections
And fix them,
To no avail.

Thanks for loving me
Without any strings attached, or
Hoops I had to jump through
To deserve your loving kindness,
And for showing me
With your sweet affection
And honest appreciation
That I was lovable
Through and through.

Finally, thanks Sue
For letting me love you,
And in my loving you,
To somehow
Turn that loving around
And begin to love myself
And others
Again.

I last saw her leaving the pizza parlor
Where I now spend my lazy afternoons.
It was our second chance encounter,
Maybe the last?

My final glimpse of her?
Rebecca's long wavy brown hair,
As she briskly walked out that door,
Perhaps out of my life forever?

The last thing she said to me?
As she turned back to respond
To my desperate query:
"Will I ever see you again?",

Rebecca replied, in that unique voice of hers that always
Pierced my foolish heart and
Mesmerized my senseless brain:
"Don't you have a wife and daughter?".

Solitude is sweet
Whenever I have
Thoughts and memories
Of your low soft voice,
Your beaming smile,
Your words of kindness,
And your dark eyes,
To take away
The sting of
My loneliness.

yours deep dark eyes can not see how beautiful they are to look into,
but mine can!
your soft, **** lips can not feel how wonderful they are to kiss,
but mine do!
your mind, clouded by self doubts, can not see how magnificent it is,
but mine can!
your heart, blinded by self contempt, can not love you at this moment,
but mine does!

Sooner or later I hope you will
see what I see,
feel what I feel,
appreciate what I do,
and love what I love,
about you,
my dearest friend,
who can love me
like no other!

Huddled around a campfire,
We each seek
A little oasis of light and warmth
On the darkest and coldest of nights.

Looking into each others eyes,
Seeing faces lighting up with laughter,
Or tears running down cheeks.
It doesn't matter which.
As long as we face each other,
We see the light, and hear the love
We create for each other.

However,
Whenever we turn away,
Gaze into the shadows
And imagine we are
All alone
In a Universe
Without light and
Without love.  
We often feel surrounded by darkness
And totally lost.

Which is more real,
The world in which,
Lost,
We sit alone,
Or one in which,
Equally lost,
We sit together...

It waits impatiently,
A lonely, isolated seed,
Hiding in a crevice of the parched earth.
Everything it needs to grow, blossom and bloom
Seems at hand.
But sadly, something is lacking
Remaining just out of reach.
Something is missing!

It longs to break out of it's hard skin,
As it is warned by the Spring Sun.
Yet it's a prisoner of its own cocoon,
Stagnating in the wind swept soil.
Waiting for something,
It has never felt before
To set it free!

At first in intermittent drops,
Soon in a steady downpour,
Tears from heaven at the seed's plight,
Kicking up tiny plumes of dust,
Across the dry desert surface,
The Spring rain arrives at last!

The seed is soaked in this
Stream of welcome wetness
That seeps down into the depths
Where it has hidden
For eternity.

Finally, all self doubts vanish.
The desert flower sprouts, grows,
Blooms!
She looks round herself,
Smiling upon a world
That has been patiently
Awaiting her arrival
For Ever.

Is there a heart so cold,
That can't be warmed
by a friendly smile?
A heart so hardened,
That it won't be softened
By the tears of a hurt child,
Or a gesture of kindness
From a close friend?

Some say, there is but one Heart,
And when It beats,
It beats for all...
Young and old,
Rich and poor,
Kind and cruel,
Just and unjust,
You and me,
Him and her,
And all the rest.

It keeps the beat
For Everyone!

Perhaps
This Great Drum never stops
It's endless loving beat
Till the last human heart
Is still?

For isn't it we alone, all together,
That makes this Heart
Beat out its song?
What point would there be
To maintain this rhythm
When everyone
Is gone?

The Present Moment,
Always fragile,
Always fleeting,
Mostly ignored,
Contains all past effects,
From Time's very beginning,
In its current expression.

The Present Moment,
Overlooked,
Mostly scorned,
Contains
All future causes,
Till the end of Time,
In its infinitely
Complex.
Boundless
Now...

Put all your hopes in the
Present Moment!
There is nowhere else
That will take them,
No other time
That can fulfill them,
No other way
To satisfy them.

The scare is there on your chest, I see,
Where a sword once pierced your heart.
This wound that never really healed,
And left you in the dark.

The skin closed over it, blocking out
The light, air and water
Needed to flush it clean.
It has to heal from the inside out,
Not the outside in!
The pus must all come out.

The wound has become septic,
And the pain will never go away
I fear, but instead,
Will linger on,
Killing you silently,
Bit by bit, thought by thought!

Open your wounds to me,
And let me wash them clean!
Don't hide them in the dark.
Expose them to the light and air,
And let the shame and poison
out!

Opening your wounds again,
To a loving mind like mine,
Will cure,
However crazy
That may sound
To you,
Your sick and broken
Heart.

The young hawk, held captive in her own nest,
Not yet allowed to test her fledgling wings,
Will soon soar, effortlessly, on thermals
Rising from the warming desert floor.

One day,  she will wing her way to distant lands,
Where her future mate awaits patiently,
Only for her,  
Only for her!

When I think of you
I have to smile!
Your eyes so bright
Your heart so true.
Lips so sweet,
Smile so fresh!
Words so soft
Like morning dew.

They light my night
These thoughts of you,
Make me sing
When I feel blue!
Make me laugh
When I want to cry,
Make me say aloud
"I love you!"

It warms my soul
In my solitude
When I'm alone
And feeling lost
That you love me
As I love you!

I went to a pet shop.

Seeking comfort there,

I asked to be petted.

They turned me away.

What kind of *******

Is this???

It is Spring, and of course,
I love her madly!
But our lips will never meet!
I will never hold her gently in my arms,
Never touch her soft body with mine.
And it is, sadly,
Better that we won't!

Yet I have already touched her heart,
As she has, mine,
So many times before,
That we often live
Inside each others hearts.
And sometimes,
We beat as one.

Alas, we will never make love,
Our bodies will never be entwined,
As one, in passion's embrace,
To give what lovers give,
To take what lovers take.
She is not for me,
She is destined for another.
And I, to step aside.

Yet our spirits are sometimes united,
Like the light from two candles,
That becomes inseparably infused,
Impossible to separate,
Whenever their flames
Are held together
As one.

I have no regrets!

We both see the same Moon
Looking down on us,
Our common lantern at night.
The same stars twinkle down on us
As we look up at them, and wonder:

"What are you doing tonight?
What are you feeling right now?
I miss you so much!!!
Are you OK?
Can you hear me?"

That same Sun that warms your face
Warms mine too, while
Traveling West from my sky to yours
Every morning!

We both cling to the same planet
As it rotates in the heavens.
And circles our Sun,
Around our own galaxy,
The Milky Way.

Remember
We are always connected
As well as separated
By space and time,
So they say.

Do not despair, my young friend!
In a little less than one revolution
Around our Sun,
We will meet again,
Look into each others
Dark brown eyes,
And laugh together
As before.

We are all personal beings,
Living in a primarily impersonal world.
All we have are each other,
Otherwise we would each
Be all alone,
And helpless...

However,
We are each separated
From each other
Not by space,
Nor distance,

But primarily
By Fear
Shame, and
Most of all,
Mistrust
Of each other.

What a pity!

With despairing eyes
I see no hope.
With hating eyes
Only hatred, I see.
Through eyes of love
I see mostly love!

All around me,
What I see
Apparently depends,
To a great degree,
On which eyes I choose
In which to see!

Who knew how simple
My life could be!
That I could choose
Happiness over Suffering
So easily,
Whenever I take the time
And effort
To choose the eyes
Through which
I See!

Whenever the mind is vacant

Of all thoughts of desire, clinging, aversion and self,

There is no nothingness, no fear, no death!

The Universe immediately fills the space

With all of its beauty and diversity,

Just as the empty cup is filled with tea.

Living only really begins

When eyes, ears, heart and mind

Have opened to it,

And the thinker has disappeared.

When judgments are believed to be facts,
Especially our own judgments
About ourselves,
They have great weight and mass,
They can crush us like cannon *****,
Imprison us like concrete walls.

But when we see them
For what really they are,
Mere thoughts,
Often chronic opinions of ourselves,
(Perhaps spawned by the
Opinions of fools?)
Seemingly solid as rock, yet
Grounded in nothing,
They have no weight,
They have no mass,
They cannot hurt, nor
Imprison us.
They are no more dangerous than
Snowflakes on our noses,
No more confining than
A morning fog.

When you are drowning,
Let me be your life jacket.
When you are tired
Let me be your bed.
When you are lost,
Let me be your compass,
Your North Star
To guide you through the night!

When you are confused,
Come to me for wisdom.
When you are afraid,
Let me be your armor.
When you can't love yourself.
Let me love you,
For you are lovable,
Strong and wise.
Courage is in your heart.
You are always that,
And Beautiful
To me!

Take cover, white dove.
Know that you are in our thoughts
As we are in yours.
Wait out the storm
For as long as it takes.
Do not fly against it.

We will wait patiently
For your return.
Just as Winter awaits Spring,
Spring Awaits Summer,
And Summer, Autumn.

When all the leaves have greened,
Turned their brilliant colors of orange,
Yellow and red,
And in death, fall lightly to earth,
You will return.

You will fly back to us
From your perilous journey,
Stronger and wiser,
To rest again
In our hearts!