Plaguing notions of death, loneliness and manifested memories
All in relation to tangible things
I ask if the power belongs to those who have wings
Escaping to a fictional utopia where they feel no pain
I’d rather be a sinner with good intentions
Never asking why, but why not
Pushing the envelope over the edge
Photographs burning
Flames dancing
Evidence of a life lived well gone with the ash

I set my childhood on fire
Because I resented my former innocence
My family was happy and I was carefree
I doused my toys and birthday cards in gasoline
Lit a match and let it sink on down
A single tear ran down my cheek
And the flames danced in a ritual of redemption and destruction.

I drowned my adolescence in the ocean.
Because all of the anger I felt inside needed to be put out.
My family fell apart and I was a tragic mess.
I searched through every old box and took out all of my accomplishments.
I fit them all in a glass jug along with a family portrait.
I sent them out to the ocean where I used to wish for things to get better.

My adulthood is hanging onto the edge of a cliff.
Because I still hope things will get better.
My family is getting smaller and I miss my mother.
I find that memories burn away faster than I once believed
And even if you send away the pain, it comes back to shore tenfold.
I’m building up from the ashes, reborn.
Because that’s when I have the most potential to grow.

Your silence is enough to make me ask,
"Did I mean anything at all?"
But I’m not taking the chance to catch only echoes.

This hurt will fade.
It's the one thing I can rely on.
The hardest part is continuing to hold up the weight
It rests on your shoulders when all of your muscles are tense and tired from the strain.
We all need a break.
Closure. Resolution.
Something and someone new to make us feel at home
I’m just wandering down a long stretch of highway
With nothing but a worn map in my pocket
And a playlist that only reminds me of memories I’d rather forget.

It wasn’t just me or you.
The pieces just didn’t fit.
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss you
Or if I said that I weren’t heartbroken, even months down the line.
I only hope that one of these days we’ll be in the same place
We'll look into each other’s eyes
We'll recognize the love, happiness, pain and misery that churned within
(which, at that point would have been so long ago)
We might exchange half-hearted smiles and a few words
We would separate and head toward different worlds.

I crave a love with such burning intensity
that I need it like I need oxygen.
I want my heart to ache with longing.
I want a man to look into my eyes and reach into my soul
Pulling all distinguishable emotion out with it.
I want my love on a string that you’d be proud to wear.
I want to need someone as much as I want to be needed.
I want to hold your hand and feel like I could take on the world.

Stumble out of bed and discover your surroundings
Wake up from a dream but find yourself alone.
Turn on the shower, lather your hair
Rinse and repeat
Feel the water run down your back, emotional baptism
Heartbreak and some of the loneliness down the drain
For a moment, you forget where you are
You go through the mundane day
Try to appreciate the little miracles in life and nature
Random acts of kindness, spread good karma
Every night, missed opportunities are still on your mind.
Rinse and repeat
Old words are still alive in your journal, but fading.
Rinse and repeat
You still trick yourself every night in sleep
Arms still around you
Still, you wake up alone.
Rinse and repeat.

You read me in every language
Hands down and held tight
I wanted to be the piece to complete your puzzle
With graceful fingertips and a quick tongue to match my own
I tripped on your words to fall down into and through you
Swept up and thrown into mutual inspiration
Passion too deep to throw into a sappy chorus
Craving the depths of the other’s body and soul
I am your instrument and you inspire me to sing a song of hope
Cheap wine and romance and you and me
Fingers entwined and the sheets that follow

My honesty is pure with no limits because you will never read this
I’ve dropped the heels I used to put on for charm and power
I hung them at your door and exchanged them for soft, broken in shoes
Ones that lack elegance, but worn with the intention to stay silent while you sleep
In the morning, you could believe I was only in your dreams.
Mid-slumber, your wrap your arm around my waist and pull me closer
I feel too at home, stripped of clothes in your arms