Its hard to wonder

To never know whats real

Its hard that you might lie to me

About the way you feel

All the nights we were alone

Sharing secrets I would never tell

You went and ruined it all

You were ashamed to share yourself

Now you wont say it

You say it takes your power

Well it gives me strength

Strength to stand up and leave

Someone is only as weak

As they are in the eyes that adore them

When you think you are powerless

Is when you are biggest to me

Decisions Need to be made

The chance is either worth it or not

Its your choice, but last chance

For one last dance

To keep what was there.

I sat down today to write it all down.

But when the pen touched down I drew a blank.

Our story is nothing but a bittersweet tragedy, kissed by serendipity.

A story full of ups and downs,

And detours of disappointment.

The untold fairytale with the saddest ending.

But I wouldn't rewrite a thing.



Because if it wasn't for you

I wouldn't have her,

And if it wasn't for us

I wouldn't know true love.



In her eyes shines the hope and love I've been missing.

Her face shows the right in all our wrongs.

She is the one my world revolves around.

And for her I would...



Rewind it all and hit replay.

I would relive every single day,

I wouldn't change a thing

That brought my life it's meaning,

She is the reason I breathe.

When you meet him

Don't let him go

Love him with all you have

But never let it show

When he hurts you, keep it in

Never let him win

Never let him see you cry...

Give him whatever he needs

Be his everything

Be there when hes down, bring him up

But never let him see

When he pushes you down

Hang on until its time to fall

Never let him see you cry...

Your tears are his Victory

He needs to know you care

Without having to care in return

He needs to have the upper hand

Your tears are weakness

Because to love...is to be at your weakes

You Are...

My greatest weakness.

My biggest mistake was letting you in.

But I wont let you be a regret.

Those eyes melted me inside.

That smile made me weak.

Those moments were real...

Moving on to the next.

Pushing all feelings away.

Clearing the slate, starting a new game.

Everything I wish I could do.

But you were always the best, after all it is your game.

And no one plays it quite like you...

But you know what they say.

3 strikes and you're out.

So while your game is ending.

I'll be playing love the right way...

With my heart...

You were always the one I wanted.

You were always on my mind.

You were always in my heart.

You were never just another boy.

You were never meant to be a toy.

You were never forgotten.

You have forever changed me.

You have forever made me new.

You have forever imprinted your smile in my eyes.

You will always have my love.

You will never lose me.

You will forever hold my heart in the palm of your hand.

When you look at me.

I lose control.

When your eyes caress me.

I feel so weak.

When you tell me I'm beautiful.

I believe that you feel it.

When I look at me.

I feel shame.

When my eyes analyze me.

I feel sick.

When you tell me I'm beautiful.

I want to cry.

...Because its not what I see...

Please don't think I'm ungrateful.

I'm only unbelieving.

All my life I've wanted to feel it.

But things get in my way.

Self-Image, the world is an Ad.

For Self-image.

Don't make me feel worse for this.

I only want to be beautiful in my eyes.

The way I am in yours.

...Because it's not what I see...

"Hey mama

How are you?

It's awful early you know

Lookin' good"

Somewhere in the fog

Trying to make it, almost there.

It's dark and I'm frightened

A stranger follows close

I block him out to make it through

"Hey mama"

BOOM

That quick, it's over

Complete control

Taken away

Taken into the blackness

I try not to scream

...Wait, that's not right

Scream~Fight~Win

A small struggle

I clamp my jaw

He screams

One deep breath

I scream

It's over...

..."Hey Mama"...

Rushing and pushing

Foward and backwards

Trying and trying

To get ahead of the crowd

With trying comes failing

With failure comes strength

Being strong means victory

Struggles and fears

Everyday worries

Blood, sweat and tears

Where are my wings?

Going and going

And going and gone

Last chances, false glances

The last dance is done

I feel the fog lifting

But soon it will fall

Just as I once did

When my wings failed

What are wings...

But protection from pain?

What is pain...

But the consequence of blocking out your next last chance?

I was young

Too young

I was young

But too wise for my years

No child should know

No child should have to know

That smell, those signs

The ones that mean not today

"Not Today"

No fun or joking around

No going to the park or downtown

You're too tired

Yea, I know...

And you...

Can you even hear me?

Do you see me?

Or do you see two?

No child should know

No child should have to

Pour your drink and measure it just right

1/5 parts normal, 4/5 parts evil

I stand strong for me

Because you couldn't stand at all

I am independent

Because you always needed a hand

I hated you!

I Love You...

The slightest scent brings you back now

It passes my senses messing with my emotions

~In a phoenix cloud I melt

~Thoughts of laying next to you after passionate showers

Pancakes in the morning bring memories forgotten

Laying and watching you sleep

Amber Romance & Coconut...

Smells of my summer with you

~Paper gowns & Waiting Rooms...

~Smells of our choices...our choices

Your hands on me

The smell of grease, so comforting

~Your hands racing

~The smell of cards, so familiar

You wont come back, but they never leave

These fragrances of our past

With these I am never Without You...

You'll say you need me tonight

And I know you do

You'll say you miss me in the silence

And I know it's true

You'll say you'd like me to come home

And I know you mean it but,



You don't mean "I'm Sorry" (But you are)

You don't mean "Ill Change" (Because you couldn't)

You don't mean "You're Worth It" (Because I wasn't)

You don't mean a thing.



I'll say I'm sorry it came to this

And you'll hear "Maybe I was wrong"

I'll say I wish it could have worked

And you'll hear I still love you

I'll say Let's stay friends

And you'll hear I still need you

BUT



I don't mean "I need you" (Because I don't)

I don't mean It wasn't you (It was)

I don't mean "I'm helpless" (Because I'm not)

I don't mean a thing to you.

He has a silver tongue

But lies are all that it secretes

He has a charming smile

But there are thorns underneath.

He has the eyes that shine

But they'll blind you in the end.

He's got the lines to make you laugh

And the nerve to make you cry.

He knows just how to pull you in

And make you want to die.

He knows just to touch and blow

To shake your very core.

He knows just how to get away

With ****** of the soul.

And how to leave the crime scene wanting more.

He'll leave you with nothing but a smudge

of the print that he has laid

And you can search until you're dead

But no more evidence remains

That love was ever really made.

And one day she just quit.
She had taken it for so long that she had nothing left to give and was so bitter she couldn’t function.
She gave in and gave up trying.
She stood up and walked out the door.
She’s going to do what she needs to do.
She’s going to be strong and carry on.
And when she looks at that baby girl, she’ll know she was right in the end.  
Her little girl needs love that she can’t give with a dying heart, and fading soul.
Her innocent eyes shine bright with the reflection of hope and better days.
She will walk down her own road, and do it her way.
She will ignore the whispers and weary glances because he’s the one who ruined all chances.  
Without a hint of bitterness she says, “Love is overrated”

She’ll be ****** is she’ll fall again.
She’ll go cliché and wear her cold heart on her sleeve.  
All the love she needs is there in her child’s face, glowing with unconditional forgiveness and innocence.

Its funny.

How two worlds can collide.

How you and I can make it.

Without common ground.

Two lives.

Alike in want and passion.

Stubborn but equally strong.

Independent but willing to change.

I am not willing to compromise.

When it comes to my heart.

I am not willing to give in.

If it means giving up.

I am not willing to lose.

If the loss is you.

Hard times are in the back of our minds.

But they'll fade in time.

I've learned that to regret is to be weak.

To be fully strong, learn from them.

How can we know what we want...

Unless we have had less than we deserve?

How do we know what we deserve

Unless we've found someone who shows you what you're worth?

I know that I deserve nothing less than you.

And in my eyes, there is nothing sweeter.

Sifting through the lies

It's hard to find your eyes.

They're here yet far away.

There's something you wont say.

So thank you for the times.

The ones when you were mine.

The times you gave your eyes.

Just to see me smile.

The times you gave your smile.

Just to stop my tears.

The times your love was mine.

With you here I had no fears.

And though the time we had has slowly slipped away.

I'll think of you each day.

And shed one tear.

For all the times you gave me you.

Just to see me smile...

I guess its me

I guess I'm the one

The one with the problems

The one who ruins it all

When you're here, I can see

But when you're not, I lose reality

I start to think I can make it alone

Until the next time you return

When I cant see you gone

You say I'm stubborn

You say I need to change

All you say is I need to change

While I have never asked you to change

In a perfect world

Two people would love each other as they are

But this is not a perfect place

And I guess change is my only chance

Is it worth it?

Is he worth it?

Am I worth it?

More importantly, could I live without him?

Would I even want to try?

Is it possible to live after finding perfection in someone?

Even if you are flawed in their eyes...

When we began here

Our lives were starting new

We made friends

And passed the years

Now we realize it will end here

Friends will fade

And tears will be shed

Time flies by

It sure slipped past us

Time for good-byes

And happy ever afters

No one will be the same

The time has changed us

In the end we cant complain

We made the most of what fate gave us

When we're walking

Then we'll see

This is it

Our final ending

Everything slows down

Now we're scared

Tears are falling

Hearts are calling

Look back on this time

Laugh and cry, but smile

No regrets, no forgetting

That this was real and we were here

Looking at the past

Nothing ever lasts

People who have come, have gone

And no one ever stays the same

The life you live will one day end

The memories will fade

And all you'll have to remember then

Are the choices that you've made

Looking at the now

The only thing we have

Its hard to keep it here

So quick it turns to then

This moment seems to freeze in time

Its all we have that's real

Hold on to it until its time

For the past to take control

Looking at the whats to come

So hard to dream of what you want

Everything stands in your way

Everyone has words to say

Soon the future will be now

And just as fast

Comes back the past

So take each moment for your last

So not to regret when

Looking at the past...

The slightest scent brings you back now

It passes my senses messing with my emotions

~In a phoenix cloud I melt

~Thoughts of laying next to you after passionate showers

Pancakes in the morning bring memories forgotten

Laying and watching you sleep

Amber Romance & Coconut...

Smells of my summer with you

~Paper gowns & Waiting Rooms...

~Smells of our choices...our choices

Your hands on me

The smell of grease, so comforting

~Your hands racing

~The smell of cards, so familiar

You wont come back, but they never leave

These fragrances of our past

With these I am never Without You...

Each breath in my lungs

...From you...

Each Crease in my smile

...From you...

The twinkle in my eyes

...From you...

All the love in my heart

...For you...

You revived my soul

When I thought it had gone

You made me love you

When I thought I was done

Because of you I feel alive

My soul is free

In your arms to fly

Your sweet winds came through me

They blew right in

They cleared my heart

I'm pure again

From where we've been

From here so much more

I am forever yours...