I looked at the tall guy with a perfectly messy hair who sat in front of me. He stared at me with his dark brown eyes, so beautiful, the one I most adore of him. He greeted me with a smile —or should I say an attempt to smile at me.

“Hey, I’m sorry. It took me a lot of time to gather enough courage to see you again after that incident.”

I smiled bitterly at that. I don’t want to talk about the past, the past which I’m trying hard to forget —the pain of our heartbreak so I asked him instead, “How are you?  It’s been what? A year before we last saw each other.”

He let out a heavy sigh and said, “I’m not really doing well, love.”

That’s it, the trigger I’ve been avoiding. A single tear rolled down my cheeks. The audacity of this boy calling me with that again after a year of not showing up. I want us to catch up with each other’s life, fill in each other with the things we’ve missed out on, but I guess this is what we need to talk about. I gathered all the courage I have in me and ask him the question I’ve been dying to ask him,

“What happened to us?”

I could see him struggling for words. “I miss you. I miss you so much.”

I heard him stifle a sob. I am lost at words. I am just staring at him for God knows how long before he talked again.

“I’m sorry, love. I’m sorry, please come back to me.” Tears were streaming down his face and I can’t bear to watch him being like this. I was about to talk when he talked again,

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that our fight will be the reason why I will lose you, forever”

I froze as memories of that night flashes back. “I’m sorry, love, please come back to me. I miss you so much.”

That night, we were fighting and shouting at each other. Saying things that we will regret later on.

“Can you please stop acting like a *****? For the love of God, you’re being ridiculous.” I looked at him in disbelief

“I can’t believe you! How about you stop being a pain in the ***, huh?” I shout back at him.

“You know what, let’s just break up!”

I said as I stormed out of the room and get my keys. I heard him call my name but all I want is to get away from him and to clear my mind. It was raining hard and I was a crying mess but I still drove my *** out to nowhere. A loud bang was heard as I was driving and crying. My head went into haywire and all I could feel is that my body is aching. I checked myself and saw blood dripping down my face. Flashing lights of different colors of police cars and ambulance were the last thing I saw as I closed my eyes.

“Im sorry, love. I tried to follow you that night but I was too late.” He’s clenching his hands while crying. “I found your lifeless body at the hospital and I didn’t know what to do.”

I extended my arm to cup his face as I, myself was crying too.  “I blamed myself, God, I am still blaming myself for what happened.” It hurts me to see him like this.

“I love you, please come back to me. I’m sorry, love.”

I scooted over to his side and slowly hugged him as I hush him and tried to talk in between my sobs,

“I love you, but please, let me go. Please stop blaming yourself and live your life, again.”

I want him to live again because I know that a part of him died with me a year ago. I want him to let me go and move on with his life and be happy again. For I am not going anywhere because I love him. I love him back then and I will love him here in afterlife.