but two things are imminent

death and the day I break your heart

This morning I dreamed I followed
Widely spaced bells, ringing in the wind,
And climbed through mists to rosy clouds.
I realized my destined affinity
With An Ch'i-sheng the ancient sage.
I met unexpectedly O Lu-hua
The heavenly maiden.

Together we saw lotus roots as big as boats.
Together we ate jujubes as huge as melons.
We were the guests of those on swaying lotus seats.
They spoke in splendid language,
Full of subtle meanings.
The argued with sharp words over paradoxes.
We drank tea brewed on living fire.

Although this might not help the Emperor to govern,
It is endless happiness.
The life of men could be like this.

Why did I have to return to my former home,
Wake up, dress, sit in meditation.
Cover my ears to shut out the disgusting racket.
My heart knows I can never see my dream come true.
At least I can remember
That world and sigh.

Better that every fiber crack
and fury make head,
blood drenching vivid
couch, carpet, floor
and the snake-figured almanac
vouching you are
a million green counties from here,

than to sit mute, twitching so
under prickling stars,
with stare, with curse
blackening the time
goodbyes were said, trains let go,
and I, great magnanimous fool, thus wrenched from
my one kingdom.

The smell of cigarettes remind me of you

So I smoke one

And another two

So I can taste you

So I can feel your kisses linger along my lips

So I smoke three

And another four

So my head can be rushed with memories of you

So I can feel you one last time

I cannot stop smoking

I cannot stop thinking of you

Will these cigarettes **** me first or you?

The moon has become a dancer
at this festival of love.
This dance of light,

This sacred blessing,
This divine love,
beckons us
to a world beyond
only lovers can see
with their eyes of fiery passion.

They are the chosen ones
who have surrendered.
Once they were particles of light
now they are the radiant sun.

They have left behind
the world of deceitful games.
They are the privileged lovers
who create a new world
with their eyes of fiery passion.

I‘m falling for you
Like Autumn leaves
In the clutch of the seasons force
This world’s inevitable turning

I’m falling for you
Not just because I can.
Not just because I can’t not.
Both of which are true.
But because I want to.

I’m falling for you,
Remembering those dark sinful hours
Sweat on skin
Hips embraced by teeth and tongue
Rustling sheets, gasps and moans
Passion and pleasure and desire and,.. and…

I have fallen for you
Hoping, just hoping, you’ll be there
Arms warm, inviting, secure
Ensuring my plunge is not into the depths of despair
The despair of rejection, of dashed hopes and broken feelings
But, instead, instead, into the ethereal bliss that is love.

"Siri, I love you."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Would you like me to search the web for 'wine dot'?"

TWO loves had I. Now both are dead,
And both are marked by tombstones white.
The one stands in the churchyard near,
The other hid from mortal sight.

The name on one all men may read,        
And learn who lies beneath the stone;
The other name is written where
No eyes can read it but my own.

On one I plant a living flower,
And cherish it with loving hands;      
I shun the single withered leaf
That tells me where the other stands.

To that white tombstone on the hill
In summer days I often go;
From this white stone that nearer lies
I turn me with unuttered woe.

O God, I pray, if love must die,
And make no more of life a part,
Let witness be where all can see,
And not within a living heart.

What would happen if when you came home.
I was sprawled on the floor.
With a bottle of pills in my stomach.
or
With a rope tightened around my throat.
or perhaps
Wrists cut deep,
Thick red all over your nice clean floor.
Because that would be your biggest concern.
Your freshly cleaned floor

**I hope it stains.

I miss you.
It’s that simple.
But, like every good cliché,
It’s true.

But it's truth
that's gone astray.

I can’t seem to
Comprehend
Just why exactly
Did it end?

I tried to move on
To the next
(And very nearly succeeded)
It’s complex,
But honestly,
I never really wanted to.

Because, all things
Conceded,
After him,
I still wanted you.

What we had,
I can’t define it.
Because in all your attempts
To refine it-
To what?
To something not
Definable as romance?

In all that,
I never had the chance
To say that I don’t care
About labels, or stigmas
Or even the promises
And fables.

I just want
To be able
To be
With you.
In a park,
In a bed,
In a car.

But we got stuck
Somewhere between hazy words
And what we actually are.

Sure, I miss the ***
(You know I always
Loved that part).

And though I lament,
I never really meant
For you to be mine.
So, you will never
Really be my ex.

I can never lose you,
Nor need to find you.
I cannot miss you-
For we are never
Truly apart.

You are,
As always,
In my heart.