When walls collapse.
We build forts.
We stay inside,
And marry poetry.

there are some kisses that I could have sworn
it would never end.
there are some hugs that I wish could stop time
if only I just squeeze the person tight enough.
there are some goodbyes I hope I'll never have to say,
there are eulogies that I don't want to hear
and there are songs that I don't ever want to end.

I'm agnostic but sometimes I pray
for the moon not to go down when I'm with you.
I beg for it to hold on for at least a few more hours
before dawn takes over but it never does.

if there's one thing I've learned it's:
no matter how much you beg, plead or promise
happiness is always fleeting from our fingertips.
happiness is never truly "yours",
it is simply just your turn to smile.

Ted made it rain for Robin,
but here I am trying to stop time for you.

it's 2 am & my bed feels so hollow
i swear i could almost
hear your name echo
when i rest my head on my pillow

the way a conch echoes
the sound of the ocean
it pangs against walls
we used to call home
it now feels more
mausoleum than sanctuary

how sure i was of you
the way the shores were sure
that the waves would
come back with the tide

free fall was not a state
i thought i'd be
accustomed to

this room
this narrow dark room
altered the very course of fate of some people
here where the light can no longer reach

this would be a place
that I wish I could wipe from
my memory but it sticks there
in the back of my mind
the insatiable all-consuming darkness

the tortures that came upon me
were unspeakable
they pricked at the tenderest skin
that I had, and sawed it
back and forth
with the dullness
of a fingernail that
was bit off
clawing at my throat
day in
and day out

it bent not only my will
but my ability to conceive hope
and yet I still hung on to the
thinnest of threads;
memories
of a far away place
where everything is bathed in sunlight
where warmth is as
common as air

the light thinks it travels faster,
faster than anything
but little does it know that
it finds darkness was there
first, just waiting patiently

My demons,
I embraced them
That's a good start

some days the bravest thing
that you can do is breathe
there will be days
that you will not feel like yourself
there will be days
that the demons inside you will prevail

some days the bravest thing
that you can do is get out of bed,
eat something, cry your eyes out,
scream at the top of your lungs,
bleed, bleed for you are alive
and struggling to be alive

some days the bravest thing
that you can do is live

the memory I'm most fond of is waking up next to you after the morning after I first met you, with your leg across my waist. your body unconsciously wrapped itself around me. like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. my heart was beating fast like it was terrified and yet amazed simultaneously as I looked at you, peacefully asleep next to me. your eyes closed, your mouth open just a little bit, and your lips were ripe, like it was waiting to be kissed. then and there I realized that some things in the world, when they meet, just fit each other. no friction at all. I wouldn't call such thing as destiny or fate, what a cliché   way to label something so natural. then and there I also realized that such things aren't supposed to stay together for long periods of time. the magic of the moment dies if you live in it too much, and with that thought I bit the grin that was etching itself on my mouth and with that, I stopped myself from falling for someone I knew I couldn't love.

oh god knows how irrevocably in love i am with you. he knows about my carnal desires and those ungodly dreams i have of you that keep me twisting and turning in bed at night. he can hear each and every silent prayer that i have for you to be sitting on my face right now. my lust for you to be my queen, and for my face to be your throne. he knows bout those mouth-watering wishes that i could taste you on the tip of my tongue right now. he knows about the thirst i have that only your open legs can quench. god bless my insatiable libido when it comes to you.