Near the bridge by the lake awaits a looming mistake for the one that takes my hand. I'll toss you over the edge like a careless leaf petal that somehow found its way nestled in between my finger tips. They act as wings whirling at immense speeds giving the machines levitation calmly but surely a preemptive strike on this game some would label life is soon to come. The body lays still at the bottom of the riven hard and statuesque as if it were conceived of stone. Sooner or later, someone will find you. I'll forget you.

I pray to god, I'm in need of relief because this LSDs' got me thinking oceans deep while I attempt to sleep my reoccurring dreams pause, rewind, play then repeat. A drug so sweet, but taste so bitter, shamefully you're what got me through that cold December. I can't remember exactly our last encounter together when ever or where ever we are the thought of you never strays to far from my reach. I feel inclined to sleep in the bed I made so it would be a shame to blame such a beautiful thing for causing me so much pain and unrest. I used to smoke to ease the stress and abuse *** which led to a bed full of women with only that of lust as their sole intention.

Initially, I didn't know what to expect on my first day of service. I wasn’t sure how the student’s or teachers would respond to having me in their classroom considering the trouble I found myself in last year. I wasn’t sure if the teachers would know of my suspension and fear me as being a violent person. Fortunately to my surprise, none of the teachers have treated me any more or less. I Often find myself feeling inadequate to an extent at times, not having any classes at the High School. Having to tell them that I’m attending the Alternative school, I can see the disappointment in their reaction. That isn’t only with my former teachers, but anyone in general.  
                My first day of service Becky greeted me with open arms, making the experience all the more welcoming. She introduced me to the class as a teacher and not as another student. This in respect gave me a profound sense of purpose, like what I was doing there may have meant something to her. I see this all as a learning experience, but isn’t everything in life. A testament, or trial if you will of one’s personal character. How much can you take? How many times can you be knocked down and rise above to overcome and persevere, finding success in the face of opposition.        
           I feel as though there are just as many of those who want to see me fail as there who want me to succeed. I’ve been to Hell and back and back again, nevertheless I’ve always managed to maintain a positive aura and keep a sensible charisma about myself. I want to think of myself as being a role model to these kids. I try and be just that when I sit in for classes at the middle school. I know that it’s a normal human interaction to learn from what you see. I believe that with all my heart and soul to be true.  
             We don’t have any real leaders. Ones that are trying to help our kids with life, and telling them that everythings going to be alright. If a child doesn’t have a role model in their parents, then what do they have? Our generation seeks advice to their problems through false idols that make us feel incompetent for not being as beautiful or having as many riches or material possessions. I want to make these children feel that they can confide in me for guidance.
          Through this experience I’ve learned to except the task at hand and carry on. To maintain your stature when a problem arises. No matter how hard things may get, giving up and giving in are not optional for me anymore. I want to teach these students that life is going to throw obstacles in their paths to test their strength and resilience and how you handle these situations ultimately shapes the person you will become. You may not always agree with an assignment a teacher gives you and if you choose not to do the assignment, you’re only hurting yourself, the teacher doesn’t have anything to do with your success or failure. Whether you succeed or fail is directly attributed to the effort you put forth.

When negative things happen to people, they do one of two things; they’ll either choose to bow to their misfortune willingly permitting the consumption of themselves by it, or they’ll see these affairs as opportunities to acquire new knowledge. During a child’s development, it’s so crucial that they be nurtured and cared for properly. A child deprived of affection is just another statistic waiting to happen. Very rarely does an individual with a traumatic childhood rise above to overcome. It’s a shame really, because most people know the universal codes of ethic, they simply don’t have the will power to apply them to their life. Too many feel sorry for themselves and forfeit the race with the mentality that they weren’t given an equal chance to succeed, so failure is okay.
            I see signs clear as day and most really are nice as may, but some tell of trials that lay ahead. A man is tried his whole life by forces. Newton’s third law of motion states that, “For every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction.” To me this not only applies to science, but everyday life in general. For every action you make inadvertently effects so many other things. If ever there were a time in my childhood that I strayed from that line of ethic, my mother was always there to redirect me. She often spoke in terms that a child couldn’t possibly understand, here I am now all these years later still trying to decipher the meaning in her words. I have frequent flashbacks of our conversations. It seems so surreal that I can remember her words even after all this time. I don’t think we ever really forget the lessons that we’ve learned, we’re just comfortable refraining from exploring the archives in which they’re stored.
             Early on in high school I was overly embraced by the upper class-men; out of this came many new friends. I became acquainted with a group of kids that hardly set a good example for me, let alone anyone. Long story short, I experienced so many grown things very early on. I wonder sometimes if I could go back and wait until I was older to experience these things, if I would choose to do so. Although being a witness and participant in these crude teenage undertakings, I feel as though I wouldn’t be who I am without having experienced those things like, relationships, partying, and all sorts of mischief; I won’t go into detail for reasons of national security.
             I started down a path that led to no future for success. Ironically, I’m in the SUCCESS program now and I’ve never been more successful at doing the things I’m passionate about. Once I got suspended from school, I had to make a choice which path I was going to take. The universe gave me a chance to leave behind the sinful things I was becoming a part of and I’m proud to say that I took that chance and ran with it, never looking back. This has been such a great adventure with so many ups and downs, thankfully there were enough positives to balance out the negatives. Most people in my situation would say that they hated high school, but I don’t see it that way at all. Any negative things that happened to me were simply a result of my own doing. I had to sleep in the bed I made, so I can’t really resent or blame anyone else but myself for any bad experiences I encountered.

By A Former Student For The Student

        See that this program is designed to encompass most aspects of students lives, this means that you’re the most important variable in this equation; without you, the student, there is no SUCCESS. Treat your teachers with respect and you can expect that they’ll do everything within their ability to help you in anyway they can, whether it be with your school work and path to success, or just simply having a friend to confide in. Everything you need to be successful is within your reach here.
        Understand whatever your past or current circumstances, there is nothing holding you back from doing what you want with your life. Bad experiences may or may not have come your way, you’ve probably made some mistakes, just know that these things don’t have to impact your life in a negative manner or inhibit your success. You are the past, present, and most importantly, the future. The goal here is to see to it that you do something amazing with that future.
         Care about being a part of SUCCESS and how others perceive you as a SUCCESS student. When you leave this building and venture out into the world, you are a representation of the program. Your actions directly reflect not only yourself, but the people that make this mission possible. Show them that you appreciate the privilege of being a part of such a worthy cause. Be proud to be in SUCCESS.
         Courtesy is a must; confrontation is a bust. If you have a confrontation with one of your peers or a faculty member, be courteous and solve it without a physical or verbal altercation. There has never been a fight within these walls, so we would greatly appreciate that it remains that way. It’s simple, treat others the way you want to be treated.
         Empathize with your classmates and understand that some of them may be having problems at home or school. Take it upon yourself to see if you can possibly help in any way. Be that person that could make a difference in someone’s life by simply being kind. You’ll always be a stranger until you introduce yourself.
           Service is a significant part of being in SUCCESS. This is a way for you to give back to your community, practice selflessness as well as work to benefit children that need your help. Be a role model to these kids, instill in them the realization of the importance of education. Don’t ever let them settle for less than they’re worth, everyone has something special they can bring to the table, some people just need a little positive encouragement to unveil it.
         Seniors, lead the way. Set the bar, as well as an example for the underclassmen. You foster more of an impact than you could ever imagine. If you’re reading this, the best advice I can give is to make the most of the time you have left; leave behind a legacy that you’ll be proud of in the future and one in which others will strive to follow. Take what you’ve learned from the SUCCESS experience and apply it. You will always remember being a part of SUCCESS.

not every poem is about beauty
too caught we are in the moment to write about it
that is what makes it beautiful
pain clings long beyond instants
prolongs and window reflections
engulfing our bones
masticating our stomachs
from slow drip bile coffeemakers in our chest
the line from that one song starts the burning
and the eyes of a stranger flavored with reminders
i wish i could tell him i finally got to ____
my blood is chunked with tomato slices
acidic clots and stagnant passions
float me in melancholy perplexities
a minute of oddity where emotions
are unidentifiable

I want to be a play write or a poet, maybe an actor or musician, just be somewhere I can show it. I only want to be seen as equal, not be looked upon as being devilish and deceitful, like politicians. Now come see, be my witness. I want to be one with the people, spread positive words and use my life for something meaningful. Maybe I'll be a war hero for my nation, **** innocent people over religion and where it's based in. Travel across the earth to foreign soil, Iraq or Syria and ****** them for their oil. The plot is set in stone never to be foiled. Maybe I'll be a scientist, and aspire for intellect, flaunt how intelligent I am and earn everyone's respect. It's something to expect, not to be undermined, when I reminisce over you, my god. My thoughts through this screen I'm giving to you, I hope you feel what I'm saying and maybe put it to use, spend your life and do whats right, forever seeking the truth. I'm a brother, I'm your family and I'll forever be here for you.