Her love
Was like cheating death
An exciting achievement
A reminder
How beautiful life is
To live with no fear
On the edge
Like you've never lived before
Free!!

What are you worried about
She asks
Are you alive?
She disappears
Must have been a dream
The end.

Sprishya

She embraced death like her first lover
This was daunting yet captivating
A door to different dimension
All enigmas now solved

Aren’t we all preparing for this
Her mind working wonders
The end of the journey
The journey to the end
End of being
A world that didn’t exist
Her journey
To a tainted manifestation

This must be it
The unknown that knew us
Before we knew ourselves
Our life’s destiny
The dark side
Filled with glaring light
"Are you god?"

-Sprishya

She mutes the TV
"What the **** is happening to the world"
I wish you could get in my head
And just hear the thoughts that play around
There’s a lot happening in there
Or better yet, just give me head
The news lady on the TV is quite hot
I bet she gives amazing head too
If only you could learn that
From all the news you watch
Make CNN more interesting
Then maybe I’d care
About the world news

(Kathmandu, Nepal 8/29/13)

Don't let me be the kind of *******
Who hides behind the facade of fake morals
Blinded by the who's and what's of the society
To carefully navigate into the spectrum of likability
Murdering ideas
Shepherded by the popular beliefs that the self proclaimed "ubermensch" with values smaller than the faith of a mother consoling her dying child propagates
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Blindly seeing the disarray of colors and beliefs
Waving divisive flags of identity
While failing to identify the core of what makes us humans in the first place
Erasing the tiniest sketch of personality
To enjoy the recognition that comes with society's impeccably placed self serving values
Foolish enough to think that they're smarter than the rest
Smart enough to recognise the falacies that dont serve their interest
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Bayoneting the rights of others to exists
Carrying big guns
Compensating for the personality they lack
Their inability to break the circuit
Their brains programmed to applaud
The orange bleep on their screens that rule their lives
Their messiah
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Pretentiously answeing to a higher cause
While dismissing the cries that really need answering
Leading life one line at time
From a forged manuscript
Playing my part just right to be recognised at the pearly gates
While closing my doors to the here and now
To the damaged
To the rejects who dont see the white and gold
Or the the blue and black
But simply crave the warmth of the fabric
Of a touch, of a hug
Maybe a warm cup of humanity
Not the body or the blood of
A humanbeing just like the rest of us
We're all capable of miracles
Not a trick like walking on water
Bur changing the world one life at a time
Not as gods
But humans, in our truest forms
(Fort Worth, TX 12/02/2018)

Happiness
The fall leaves
Cool breeze
Pink evening sky
A patch of cloud
Creeping loneliness
Wet, slippery road
Open door to a dark void
my apartment
Self doubt
Anxiety stricken loathing
Open the cap of a dark bottle
Potion defining sad attempt at happiness
Bukowski, Rumi, Nietzsche
Occasional Larry David
Some chocolates, maybe icecream
Guitar and ukulele
Facetime with the family
Happiness
Sweet music in my ears
Realization that life isn't that sad
Soft pillow, firm bed
Sweet dreams
Wake up,
Repeat.
(Minneapolis, MN 10/15/19)

Dear Maargi,
Be the music people pain to listen to
When they discover the voice within that tells them life is so much more
Be the music that lifts hopes in the darkest of times
Not as a cry for help
But a wave that makes them fly
Be the words they pain to read
Trapped somewhere deep in them
But didnt have the courage to let out
Not words of hate, petty, or remorse
But love, valor, and justice
Be the colors they pain to see
The ones they wanted to paint
But got lost in the pallet of misunderstandings and differences
Be the light that shines the path
The path they've so longed to take
Not as the star that lights their way
But one that lights their conciousness
Be you, be you all the way
Not the character they want you to be
But the character your heart tells you to play
(Fort Worth, TX 12/23/2018)

Here we are again
Same place
And you are starting to haunt me
Talking about love lost
Love not found
But It feels like it's staring at me
Like that cat from the other night
Like it can see right through me
My inside's imploding
With an urge
An urge to defy our truth
The truth that I don't want to believe
But again we create our own truth
When your lips open to speak
All I can think of is my open lips
Pressed against yours
When you talk about your past
All I can do is pretend to care
Honestly love
I think I am falling for you
I wont say forever
But for tonight
I want you more than this drink
Begging me to finish it
Or the lines of *******
Be my drug tonight
Even if you give a bad hangover
I want to get drunk
Drinking you
All night
And pass out in your heaven
You can leave in the morning
I prefer to watch the sunrise alone.

(Kathmandu, Nepal 8/15/13)

The day you told me it was over
I should’ve taken the sharp knife of your words
and slit my throat to bleed out
every drop of blood that had you in it
and let it flow
like freedom
that my heart is begging for right now
Love had to hurt
How else would I feel the pain
of a million souls that have died
for that one love they believed in
to start ancient wars
the cries of which we hear till date
but my cries just disappeared somewhere
And time doesn't heal love
My tomorrows are all stuck in the yesterdays
the dreams that were so beautiful
I never wanted to wake up
I still dont,
Except this time I just want to sleep
Dreams shattered like a glass that fell from a thousand feet
I desperately tried to collect the pieces and put them back together
but a tiny speck of glass pierced through my skin and vanished
and my dreams are now forever incomplete
Leaving me with a sting everytime I touch that spot
Just hoping someone will help me take that glass out
But no one seems to be good enough
There has to be a way
There has to be a way!!!

(Kathmandu, Nepal 06/05/2014)

The beers come out as usual
I pour it down
Like I am trying to put off
The fire that's been burning me
A drag of cigarette
Inhale... exhale
Take a gulp
Pretend like i care
"HAHAHAHA"
Constantly wonder what you might be up to
Close my eyes
See your face
Open my eyes
Shake my head
"I think I'll have one more!!"
Friends talk, I listen
Inhale.... Exhale
Take a huge gulp
"HAHAHA, no way!! you serious??"
Few more glasses down
Light a cigarette
Drunk enough to not notice that I miss you
Now I think I'm ready for bed

The cigarettes keep burning
The drinks keep pouring
And my thoughts keep racing
Your eyes and your smile
Your promises and deception
My hopes and my heartbreak
Would I have been happier?
Insane enough to be myself
Perhaps the whiskey would be a friend
Perhaps I'd see my dreams carried out
In the cigarette smoke I inhale
To **** the sorrow that's been growing inside
I could stop it all
Believe me I want to
But every time I do
You come back
I'd rather have sorrow
I'd rather be dead
I'm burning inside my love!!

(Kathmandu, Nepal 01/02/2015)

12 a.m. November 1, 2014
starry night, ticking clock
nothing's changed really!!
the hookers are helping desperate men find love
One ***** at a time
making money
a man jumps off a bridge
**** life right?
Lonely ******* jerking off
while a beautiful young **** makes love
a mother's breastfeeding her baby
who's gonna grow up to end human race
while i sit on my chair
reading Bukowski
"there are times when insanity becomes so real that it isn't insanity anymore"
I guess I am no different!!

(11/01/2014 Kathmandu, Nepal)

Hope you’re missing me
As much as I’m dreaming of you
Your sweet sounds
Your misty warm caress
KATHMANDU
I love you too!

(Minneapolis 7/31/2021)

I'm not a poet
I'm a thinker
I write down my thoughts
The bad days that are over
The good days to come
The love on its way
And lovers dead and gone

-Sprishya

If every drink led to a poem
I'd write you an epic
to show how drunk I am
lost in the thought of you
But alcohol doesn't cut it anymore love
Your lips are more intoxicating
the only drug that can make me sane
Fly high enough to touch the stars
Yet grounded enough to know this is real
If only I were a *****
I'd go that extra mile for the drug in your eyes
But I'm only a coward doing cowardly things
Finishing this whisky
Hoping you were here
This time for sure I tell myself
This time for sure!!

The lights burn brighter when it’s dark out
The birds stop chirping
People stop existing
And all I hear are my thoughts and the ticking of a clock
Tick-tock Tick-tock
The sound of life passing by
But I’m not ready
I still have half a bottle of consciousness
And a burning cigarette
Defining my destiny
The flowers of sanity blossom
With every sip I take
While I lose myself in the oblivion of being
Trying to define each moment
With the right combination of words in the wrong time
Surely, I must be heading somewhere
Towards the “goals” forced into me
Like a nail hammered into a wall
but I’m not a poster or a frame
I am an entire wall where murals are drawn
Where the children of today
See the prophecies of tomorrow
A rain in the drought of imaginations
That once turned the key
To wind-up birds that flew
To a faraway land we heard about
In the sweet lullabies
That made all the monsters under our beds disappear
A place where dreams weren’t defined
By the fame and the fortune that has taken over
Happiness and creativity
A rare phenomenon in the world today
Surely, there must be a way out of the cycle we call “success”
And into the free flowing waters of righteousness that we all lack
Surely, there must be a way of redefining the impeding norms we live by
Surely, there must be a way!!!

(Buffalo, NY 10/22/2015 1:40 am)

Let's leave babe
Shoot off to the moon
In a sin filled ride
Heaven awaits us
Just this night
Thats all i need
Thats all you get
Let our souls unite
As i discover you
Discovering me
Experience death
And come back to life.

I write
Because it's the only sanity I know
I lost my mind a long time ago
Between the heartbreaks and one night stands
Somewhere in those drunken nights
I've been trying to find myself
With a drug induced consciousness
And alcohol infused serenity
And the words
The words that forever battle in my head
To just come out raw
The way they are
No sweetness added
Unrefined thoughts
Like **** the world, **** humanity
**** everyone
But then I take a deep breath
Regather my thoughts
Add a little sweetness to it
Then my mind comes up with words
But they're not mine
I lost my mind a long time ago
Back when I was taught to deal with good people
When in reality I was surrounded by none
When I was taught to succeed in life
But not how to deal with failure
About love and happiness
But never about heartbreak and distress
I write
To teach myself
Experiences that I was never taught
Love that I found and lost
To find the sanity that I misplaced
While figuring out the curve ***** life threw at me
When time took away everything that was offered to me
I write
To feel again
What it was like to be me.

(Kathmandu, Nepal 10/15/2013)

A sad tune in an empty bar
That's what my life has become
People may surround me
But I feel alone
Being without you
Is like being without me
I am here but lost somewhere
In the days when you were around
Now it doesn't even feel like home
I am hoping for better days
Living in the past
I've tried to pick myself up
Put back the pieces
But I keep falling apart.

(Kathmandu, Nepal 9/16/13)

A girl he adored
His heated passion
Her licentious eyes
Devilish stare
Sin filled mind
A sin he yearned for
If this took him to hell,
He wanted to get
On the fast lane

Do you love me?
Define love he says
Would you die for me?
Aren’t we dead already?
I would live for you
Make you,
More alive than you will ever be
Lets take this trip babe
Filled with debauchery
She lies down
He proceeds.

Sprishya

The moon casts a spotlight
On your face I see
Everynight in my dreams
Yet I cant wait to wake up
For reality brings you
Right in front of me      
And who needs the moon
Or the stars of my fate
While you're sitting there
Glowing even brighter
More beautiful than all of them               
And when you smile  
It feels like I am seeing for the first time      
And this reality feels like heaven
Every single time

(Kathmandu, Nepal 7/14/2014)