i'm not soulless;
i actually feel like my soul is not being held by a body.
like my soul is flying around in free;
but i do not feel safety.

i'm bodyless;
whirling around in the wind,
like a particle of dust
with no weight
but still tough.

i am just a soul;
without a beating heart
with no lungs,
and no blood to be pumped.

y.m

i miss you
till the extent
that my bones are itching,
my cheeks are twitching.
and i feel like dying.

where your absence is filled
with someone unwanted
i'm still feeling empty
dizzy
and tired.

i love you, i love you,
please come fill me
with your joy and laughter
i've been waiting

i am the chills in the wind,
the dirt on the floor,
unpicked
and not cared for.

i am the razor piercing through your skin,
there to give you pain,
there to burn you in the rain,
and there to absorb the misery you've been feeling.

y.m

your words
takes me
to this place
like how
the wind takes away
the ashes of my lighted cigarette.

all this misery bottled up
deep in me
i take a deep breath
and a second later,
i'm coughing out cigarette smoke,
feeling like it's my last
and the misery flies away.

the heat at the end of my stick tells me
"girl, it's the end, let it go"
i drop it
squash it
and pull out another.

no, it's not the end.
the end will come....
another day




y.m

a fistful of what i want to say
but not even a pinch of courage

****, there's so much that you need to know
but my mind kept on screaming,
"a word comes out and you're going to regret life"

three days later
i come to see you, just to tell you
how much i've dreamt about you
but all i said was
"hey darling, how have you been?"

you said you've been good,
that's a good thing, right?
but tell me
what about the look on your face when i said i was going to leave
on that day?

what about the times i've said hey, cheer up
life doesn't end here and now, you know that right?
you smiled but that look
was as opaque as the clouds above

what about when i said i loved you for the first time?
you smiled like the first time you heard the singing voice of mine
but at the end of the day, that look
that look took over my mind for the rest of the night

the time when i first kissed your bruised hand
what about that time?
the same look was plastered on your beautiful face
and i thought
"****, this girl doesn't love me no more"

but nothing was mentioned
you never asked for a break
you never said you were tired
but that look
never left my mind.

and now it is back
i believe, for the last time
for once and for all
can you please explain
if and why
that look of yours
is going to be
a permanent residence in my mind?

y.m

I look at you and I think,
what good have i done,
That got us to link?

all the tests i've flunk
you've thrown your tantrums at me
whenever i'd try to dunk
you'd just stop, get up and leave

i love you, i love you
don't ever leave me
it's you and me against the odds
you make me feel free


y.m