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3.2k · Feb 2013
Life On The Streets
Dried up like a reservoir
In the mid summer heat
The cracks in the ground
Are like
The life lines, upon my face
I have weathered many a storm
As if
I have lived a 100 lifetimes,
Instead of one!

Bare, rough, ***** feet
Shoes are hard to come by,
These days
Unless, I steal them!
But, then I will become a target
Having something new
It will get stolen from me
By some other gang
Or by some cruel and nasty person!

“Bare feet it is!”
“Less problems, this way!”
Feet are made for walking
I will use them
For what
They are made for!
“Now let’s get something to eat, I am starving!”

Loitering around Hungry Jacks and Macca's
Asking people
As they walk out
With their hot, delicious, fresh food
For a gold coin or two
Dumpsters and bins
Look nice, today!
Only half eaten, stuff
A lot of wastage!
“Not the freshest stuff, but hey!”
Make do, with what we have!

The sun is shining today
Not sure where to wash though...
Water is scarce, thank god for public toilets
They sure come in handy!
They say it is fun
And you are lucky to have freedom!
But,
It is a lie we tell ourselves
To remain ignorant
To pretend, we don’t give a ****
But, inside,
We really do!

For you see ,
There are sacrifices
To the choices you make
When you have to live them, out
“Don’t be a fool!”
Life is no fairytale, on the ***** streets of hell!

During the day,
The city lights up
It glitters
As if
It were made out of gold!
It comes alive with people
Rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere
Not really knowing, what
They are presently, doing
People reminding me of robots, sheep and zombies
Acting as if they are in control of everything
When in fact, they are not!

"Who knows what is around the corner?"
"What is coming, your way!"
Life is unpredictable,
"Beware!"

“Don’t be mislead by the fakes, around here”
“There is plenty of them!”
Eyes are on you,
Down every alley way
Standing on every corner
Watching you
"You, are in ‘our territory’ now!"

“Hold onto your bags tight!”
For,
I may be lurking behind you
One minute there,
Next minute gone!
It is the nature of the game
As
I ****** and grab your bag
When I see you off guard
Taking your money
Claiming it, as my own
You see,
I need it to survive on!
I'm banking on you, being rich!
I told you
This place is a hell hole
And,
I meant it!

This dark place
Full of shadows and conscious deceit
Will swallow you up
Eating, you alive!
You will lose your way
In its pit of endless darkness
There is no Prince Charming’s, out here!
There is no one to save you
There are only damsels in distress
Like me!

No one
Comes to your aid
When you need it the most
You could diminish and disappear one day
Within a blink of an eye!
Without a hint
Nor trace of you, left behind
No one will see it happen
Because
No one
Opens their mouth up, around here!
So,
Love and appreciate, one another!
Care for yourself and care for others!
Tell your loved ones
'you love them' often
And,
‘Enjoy'
The home, you live in!
1.5k · Feb 2013
Abusive Love
Cold case lover
How I loved you so!
You always mattered
But,
You
Never
Believed me!
You were my every desire
You were everything to me!

Looking through your eyes
Jaded with jealousy and envy
You laid your hands upon me
Acting out
Your emotional
And
Bitter pain

“Why were you so mean spirited”?
“Who messed with your mind”?
“How can you kneel before me, now?”
Pleading me
To forgive you
As
You bawl, your eyes out

Your relentless begging
Over and over
You
Keep playing mind games, with me!
Begging me for mercy
To come back,
One,
Last
Time

With my swollen eyes,
Broken bones,
Twisted up, insides
My heart is torn!
“Are you a dead man walking”?
“Do you not ‘feel’ no more”?
“Will I get to see tomorrow’s sunrise”?
If,
I stay another day
With you

Playing Russian roulette with my life
I am terrified, I am petrified!
My eyes are blind,
My heart too forgiving!
But,
I am not leaving

“Will I become a cold case ******, one day?"
I wonder...
At the hands of my own stupidity!
“What will you do on that day, dear lover?"
“Will you lie and be deceitful?"
“Will you hide things?"
Just like
You did, from me!

Will you ‘vow’ devotedly
You did it
All
In the name of ‘Love?'
"Will you brag about,
Your ‘bitter sweet victory?"
Open wounds,
Bleeding soul
Release me free
From this man’s betrayal!
Anyone who has experienced an abusive relationship may be able to relate with this poem. Glad those days are over!
1.2k · Feb 2013
True Reality
Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am
Never good enough
In your eyes
In
Challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind
And
Heart
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease
This jealousy
And
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking
Too much *****
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn
Head of yours!

How long  
Will it take
For you
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the ****!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me to be!

Your insecurities
Your inner demons
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge
Or
Feel from me!

You can believe this
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love
Be Love
In Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional *******
That
Bind us together
True Love
No longer
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’
Break ups can be hard when you love someone but know you need to let go of them because it is unhealthy for you to be together.
1.0k · Feb 2013
Feather In The Wind
Feather in the wind
Gracefully you fall
Upon
The gentleness
Of a breezes whisper
Or
In the strong winds
That
Blow a gale, strong
Light and gentle
You remain
Calm
In your outcome
Utilizing the environment that surrounds us, to achieve a healthier emotional state of being.
An angel, cradles me, in her motherly arms
I have fallen, I am venerable
I told myself, I would not do this, no more
I have failed to keep my promise, to you
I have not stayed true
Tears flowing, as I smile, just, for you!
Remembering the times, when you cupped my face, in your hands
Your blue eyes, gazing into mine
Telling me with sincerity
‘I am the sunshine, that lights up your world, each day that dawns’
My heart aches, it rains with love, having fond memories of us
Wash me clean, being human, is challenging me!
Emotional *******, creating blocks
I need to move on, you are dead and buried
Your time here, over
My heart struggling, accepting this reality
“Forgive me”
I pray to be free!
“I Love you, my beloved friend”
845 · Feb 2013
Pretty Little Singing Bird
Pretty little singing bird
Pretty as can be!
Singing
The sweetest melody
Serenading me
Pretty little singing bird
You make my heart sing!
Pretty little singing bird
Will you be my friend?
With
My love of writing
And
Your sweetest songs
We
Can make the world
A beautiful place
With
Our own
Personal
Unique style!
Pretty little singing bird
Don’t fly away!
Did I scare you?
Won’t you stay?
Be sure
To tell
Your animal friends
To come
Visit me soon!
I love you
Pretty little singing bird
You are
My sweetest friend!
799 · Feb 2013
Life Can Be Cruel
I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially
When you survive!

Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum
Coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder
Where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say
She 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And
Keep me safe
And not forget
That I exist
Like the way
She treats me now

I wish God
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So
All this can end!
Before
This last ray of hope
Diminishes
For good!

I don’t want
To become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten
As if
I was never born!
For this
Is the cruel harsh reality
Of living life
Feeling unloved
Uncared for
Abandoned
Left
To fend for my own

A dangerous killer
Inside me
Eating away
At my soul
Something
No one
Can see
As
I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost
Alone
And frightened
Weeping
On a *****
Graffiti park bench
***** tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get ***** and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God
I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please
Show me the way!
Autobiographical
783 · Feb 2013
Soulful Cries
I scream
At
The top of my lungs
No sound
Comes out...
Silent
Curdling screams
Is all
I have, left now!

I wrestle
I fight
With
All my physical might
While
Being forced down
By
The mighty strength
Of
Many men

The pungent smells
Of dirt
Sweat
And grime
Embed
In my senses
Their ghastly, hot breathes
Making me
Want to puke!

Their hands
All over me,
Violating me
Constantly grabbing
And
Groping me
While hollering
And cheering
Each other, on!

Someone,
Punches me
Someone,
I cannot see
A large, man’s hand
Covers my mouth
And nose
Muffling,
My soulful cries
Terrorizing my insides

"I can’t breathe now!"

Many
Heavy handed
Blows follow
I watch
My scarlet red blood
‘Splatter’
Upon
The snow white sheets
That
Surround me

My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears
Mixed
With the stench
Of men’s, body fluids

My body
A raging torrent
Of
Pure hot fire!
A living hell
As
The men continue
Their wild frenzy
Devouring
Every morsel
Left,
Of
My dignity!

My body
Weak...and weary
It is fighting
For
It’s God given right
To live!
My life
Flashing before my eyes
The sounds around me
Beginning to fade...
My eyes
Glazing over
My body
Goes limp
My body, betraying me!

In this moment
I pray
For this is not my will
But
Their own!
“Please heavenly Father,
Have mercy
Upon their souls”
“Please
Forgive these men
As I do, now,
For
They
Will
Never, take me away
from you!"

Blackened tears of mascara
Weave
Their way down,
Through the ****** crevasses
Of
My black & blued skin

My body used up
A lifeless vessel
Totally, numb!
My innocence
My dignity
As a Woman
Stripped away
No one
Can save me, now
The worst is done!

I am bashed!
I am beaten!
I am worn!
I am nothing
No more!
Free Verse, Autobiographical poem
774 · Apr 2013
Naked Embrace
Naked embrace
Entwined, as one
Two hearts, beating in time
One ,rhythm
752 · Feb 2013
Seed Of Love
Tiny seeds germinate
Shoots sprouting
New life
Is born!

The weeds in life
Come for free
As
Every
Beautiful rose
Has
Its thorns!

Growing tall
Against
All odds!
Growing
Toward
The light

Laying
Our roots, deep
Staying strong
Yet
Flexible

We are a tree of life
Or
The seed,
In the ground
We are
'One'
Of, the same!
Learning about ourselves through nature
737 · Feb 2013
I Still Love You
I still love you
Buried six foot under
Life no more
Risking my heart
Everything I have ever known
Letting you go
18 years
Of panache & tears
‘Loyalty’
Because

‘I Still Love You’

At a cross roads
Changes of initiation
Giving in
Risking all
Trading this pain in
Making my heart whole
Know
By saying goodbye
And letting you go
Know for an eternity

‘I Still Love You’
Inspired by consciously letting go of my deceased boyfriend.
709 · Feb 2013
Almost Lovers
Almost Lovers
Now
Loveless romantics
Loveless
With
Only sadness in our eyes
A fresh new hole
In our hearts
Without each other
Being by each other’s side

I am trying
Not to think
About You
Though
Images of you
Still haunt me
Flooding
My mind
As I hear
The sound of your voice
Echo
Through the air
I see you ‘smile’
I can smell you, everywhere!

And
When I watch the stars
Light up
The sky at night
When
I stroll the streets
Without you
By my side
I watch lovers
Enjoy each other’s company
Reminiscing 'about you’

Almost lover
I still feel the beating of our two hearts
Becoming One
Even though
You are now gone
Goodbye
Almost Lover
Thank you
For making my heart warm!
Love, Emotional, Romance
684 · Feb 2013
World We Live In
I sit in the classroom
Start of a brand new year
I am really nervous
New students, surround me
They come from diverse cultures & backgrounds
None that I am familiar with
It’s like God gathered the whole world
And placed us together
In one, tiny classroom

I admire the beauty of their different coloured skins
It’s like gazing at a mesmerising masterpiece
Neither human nor artist can replicate that kind of beauty and colour
God’s colour palette, extraordinarily vast!
I love the way their eyes stand out
Beautifully matching, their shade of skin tone
Warm and welcoming eyes
White, shiny teeth
Hearty laughs
Everyone’s so friendly!

Going about my school work
I listen to them talk
Talking in their native tongues
The rhythm and tones of the sounds, so fluid
I noticed they think before they speak
Where most people I mix with ‘blurt’ stuff out
I love the way they pronounce things in English
Faces full of expression, lots of hand gestures
Wanting to be understood, validated

I like the clothes the cultural people wear
Bold and bright colours
Shiny, printed and patterned fabrics
Where I choose to wear black, most days than not
I turn my attention
To the others in the room
They are dribbling on about nothing
Nothing, worth listening to!

Drawn back to the cultural people
I notice some come across as sad, scared or timid
Often too shy, to speak up
To say what their thoughts or opinions are
I wonder if each knows how beautiful they truly are
I can’t wait to learn from all these new people
I am blessed to be surrounded by so many races and nationalities
What an amazing, wonder-filled world
We ‘all’ are privileged to live in!
678 · Apr 2013
Spirit Of Love
Inside my heart
Over flowing
A sea of love
My spirit free
Love taking lead
My inner consciousness, awakening
Inner realisations, coming to light
Experiencing the wonders of our universe
Discovering who I am
In the spirit of love
662 · Feb 2013
Protect Me As I Sleep
Nobody
Knows my real name
‘Angel’
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just
The clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me Father"
"Let no harm come to me
As
I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”
Living on the streets as a teen I often prayed to myself to feel safe before I closed my eyes to sleep at night. Night time is a very vulnerable time on the streets. It is a time to stay awake to fend off predators, not sleep, like most people do.
655 · Feb 2013
Messed Up Love
Burning up
Torn apart
“I have had enough!”
Jaded
By your words & thoughts

Deepest
Darkest
Parts of my heart
Drowning
In my own tears and sorrow
“What have you done to me?”
“I can’t function anymore!”

Messed Up Love!
Misunderstands and arguments cause more grief than what they are worth!
617 · Apr 2013
Smile
Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life
608 · Feb 2013
Survival Of The Fittest
Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets
Because I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs

At an early age
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet,
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!

Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!

If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!

Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage

Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world
We all live in
Growing up on the streets in my teen years was a living hell. One of the darkest periods of time, I have ever lived. Now, at this stage of my life's journey it has become a positive. Now, I have a voice that is no longer afraid to speak, in hoping others will have the courage to share too :)
606 · Feb 2013
Playing Having Fun
Running
Through the forest
Running
Through the trees
Ducking & weaving
Through the bushes
Crunching on
The autumn leaves

I hide
Behind a log
Quiet
As can be!
“Shhhh”


“Don’t tell anyone
I am here!”
“I am playing
'Hide – And – Seek'
“I don’t want the boys
To find me!”

I giggle mischievously
Peek – a – booing
Through the bushes
Just
For a second
To see
If
Those silly boys
Have
Followed me here!

“Nope”
“Coast is clear!”
“Yaaay!"
“Nobody can find me!”
“Nobody but me!”
“BOO!!!”
I get pounced on!
Smothered in boys kisses
“Oh no, too late!”
“That rascal
Johnny Little
Found me!”
I push him off
Giggling
Brushing off the dirt
From
My
Pretty little, flower dress
So
Mummy
Doesn't
Tell me off, again!

I run back home
As fast as I can!
The cool breeze
Against my face
Blowing
Through my leafy, blonde hair

Arriving home
Racing through
The screen door
Just in time
For dinner!
“Yum Mum!”
“I’m hungry!”
I loved playing hide and seek with the neighbourhood boys when I was younger. This poem was created when I was studying children's poetry. Hopefully, it inspires your own inner child to come out & play, once in a while :)
500 · Feb 2013
Once Here Now Dead
Once here
Now dead & gone
“What am I known for, this time round?”
I exist
Only as a memory now
A memory that fades
Over time
“Who will remember me
When I am gone?”

No one
Knew me
Yet
People will say
They knew me
So well!
A laugh!
How often people 'think'
they are experts!
Yet
Really
They know
Nothing
At all!

“How well did you know the inside of me?”
For
if I was to ask...
“What is my favourite colour?”
Or
“What’s my favourite song?”
I listen
For answers...
None come!

“What’s my favourite food to eat?”
Complete silence...
I could hear a pin drop
Round...about...now!
“Do these questions
Fall upon deaf ears?”
For I ask...
“Who truly knew me?”
“What Am I known for?”
“Who will remember me
When I am dead & gone?"
391 · Feb 2013
I Truly Do Love You
Missing your kiss
Savouring what’s left
On my painted red lips
Setting my soul on fire!

You have been away far too long
This is driving me crazy, baby!
For it is no secret
Nothing is right
When you’re not with me

I would give you all I have
Including my heart of gold
Just to be with you
Right now

“I Truly Do Love You”
322 · Feb 2013
Who Knows
You know
That
I know
That
'We’
Know
Nothing
At all!

— The End —