dear little fly buzzing through my room
with delicate wings like made from tissue paper
and little black legs that you love to rub together
like you're planning mischief
isn't it funny how we both are made from carbon
both maybe created by a wise and gentle god
or both maybe freak accidents of the universe
little fly, it is november
and i wish you were dead.

i am rather a quiet lake than a stormy sea
i am a dandelion, not a daffodil

i brush my teeth twice a day
i am nice to people
(polite to those i secretly dislike)
i am wholesome i suppose

and sometimes i sit down at my desk
and i take a sip of tea
and i think,
and i sigh.

with eyes blue as the july sky
he was watching me
as we sat on our bench in the park.
and green were the leaves
and silver the lake
as it lay still in the sweltering heat
and his hand was on mine.
-you're a summer girl, he said.

yet seasons change
the leaves have set the trees aflame
in yellow - orange - red
cold raindrops in my face as i look up
to grey clouds promising storm -
now i can't help but think of his words
back on the bench in the park:
how gross a delusion!
i will not see that man again.

smiling at someone is hardly a crime
as long as you're sure you'll be home right on time
yet this smile felt cheeky and risky and bold
it first made me blush and then shiver from cold
he looked back at me, provocative stare
my heart started racing, i was gasping for air
his eyes were so piercing and tempting and blue -
but that was the moment my thoughts turned to you.
the second was over and i went away
so futile to linger: i got on with my day.

it is time i washed you out of my sheets
it is time i threw away the toothbrush you left
it is time i deleted your picture off my memory
it is time i never thought of you again

it is time i forgot how we walked up my street hand in hand
it is time i forgot how you kissed me down by the river
it is time i forgot how you looked at me with eyes full of love
it is time i forgot how happy we could have been.