your not going to set my heart
to tear it apart again
I'm not going to fall
into the same cycle again
with you again
I feel the sadness
creeping in again

I want all of your heart
all of your soul
I want all of you
to never let go
I want to give you
all of me to know
all I have is part
only part of your heart

I'm so sad....
this emptiness deep inside
cuts through my heart
like a sharp knife
you leave , you leave
you leave me alone
I am so lonely....
why do you leave
and leave me alone
if you love me
why do you leave me
so empty , lonely , and alone?

I will be anything
you want me to be
I will do anything
you want me to do
you see, I will
become a monster
just like you
if it means
forever I can
stay with you

sitting here with the
phone in my hand
trying not to text you
its killing me inside
wanting to text you
don't know what
to say anymore
wanting to be next to you
but your not coming
to my door
the urge to cry
knot in my throat
no more tears left
in my eyes,
eyes are left to cry dry
my heart it starts to pound
before it stops and starts again
only to take my breath away
and I must say,
you still my breath away
a million times a day.
                                        -Stacie-

every day is a battle
my mind battles
with my heart
my heart battles
with my soul
its a battle
that never ends
and so no one
ever really wins

my heart its pounding
I struggle to breathe
my chest it tightens
as my heart beats
I'm gasping for air
as if no one cares
my head gets lighter
tears strolling down my face
hands began to sweat and shake
I can no longer take a breath
no words can come out
eyes wide open
please make it go away
control yourself
I can no longer stay
don't breathe to fast
it might be your last
please try to swallow
your own pain away
push it down your throat
into your chest
do your best
let it settle in your heart
it wont rip you apart
lock it away forever
**** wont get better
don't fight it invite it
you live in grief
you can no longer breathe

I have this overwhelming desire
to be with you my love
hate when I dream of you
when I awake your nowhere near
so sad desperate for your touch
aching in need for your love
my dreams are my visions
promises to keep
secrets to hide
one day you will find
me in my dreams
your sleeping beauty
and kiss me out of my nightmares
until then I awake in overwhelming desire

for a moment I remember everything
everything I love everything I hate
all the pain all the blame
the brief moments of joy
long suffering moments of grief
being terribly tormented in love
and it never being enough.

I add gas to my own fire
don't need anyone to do it for me

I will love you no matter what
all the darkness inside
until the end of time
and even past that
through infinity and beyond
you are my soulmate
we will connect forever
even when we're not together
I might step away for a moment
but I will never let you go
you are my soul
my heart belongs to you
always has always will
I will love you still
some may say I'm stupid
I say I hold onto
the love between us
they don't know
how our love is
I will wait for eternity
if I have to
just to be with you
to hold you
to dance with you
through the universe
we will spin around
and around
until we're heaven bound

so here we are , once again
stuck in between , you and me
in my dreams , you see
what's the night to bring
in between my dreams
and the reality of  you and me

I keep looking for all the missing pieces
in the dark I search with only
a little light that follows
down the narrow tunnel I go
I cant turn back , I wont
I cant look back , not now
because in the dark
is where my broken
pieces of heart are found
their just lying around
waiting to be seen , by me
all the missing pieces
and I will search , keep searching
if its my life purpose
you broke my heart
but its only me that can find my parts
all the missing pieces
fit them back together
heal my heart only for you
only for you to break it apart
because its only you
that can break me in pieces
its only you it will only ever be you
and so I keep looking for all the missing pieces.

my reality is mine to own
and only mine to own
it is not yours
to grab a hold of
you have your own
mine is not for you
to comprehend
yours is not for me
you see , I see
we see differently

burning in the shadows
lightning in my dreams
thunder in my ears
beatings in my heart
beat until it falls apart
clash the drums until
I can not hear , lightning strikes
reality is never what it seems
these shadows of mine
are going to burn me to hell
my secrets I will never tell
your secrets I will never tell
hide in the dark lies
to never be told
my dreams can never be sold
twisting and turning , screeching and yearning
yelling in silence when the darkness falls
who can hear my silent screams
what holds inside
dancing through my mind
the wind blows
one rolling thought after another
where is my brother I never heard
my sister I will never know
truth be told
its getting very cold out here
as the storm settles to a quiet rythum
burning in the shadows
where the beat of my heart stops
no one will ever know

I hate nights like these
shut my eyes
only to see the dark shadows
I don't recognize
shuffling around behind my eyelids
like little kids
playing hide and seek
I can never see there faces
look closer, look closer I scream
no sound ever escapes my mouth
its not a dream
I'm awake completely aware
of the scare
dark shadow men
with no faces
paralyzed by fear
who are they, what do they want?
its never clear
I hate nights like these
Oh, I wont sleep
                              -stacie -

the pain never goes away
never ceases to stop
you can shove it down your throat
push it out of your heart
and into your stomach
and hope it stays to rest
but it will rise
oh , how it will rise
it will tear you apart everytime
knock you down to your knees
take all your breath away
the pain it never dies

where are you?
in my time of need
as I cry out to you
I just want the truth
how long must this go on
where are you?
I don't feel you
I don't see you
speak to me
as I cry out to you
show me as I look
for your visions of truth

the more you talk
the more questions they ask
the less they understand
they don't listen
to comprehend.

what we have in common will always be greater than what separates us.
                     Catherine burns