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 Nov 2012 Sophie Herzing
Odi
Blue
 Nov 2012 Sophie Herzing
Odi
I am making a desicion
to clean my body of
your hollow whispered bruises
cracks in my diaphragm
your words left sizzling there
like acid that dripped from your lips
I forgot the deception that swam from your eyes
I have never been stupid
enough to believe
that you were only one
when there were three.
But we stood and watched that house burn
never feeling colder,
than we did that night.
Im sorry your brother died and took
your parents with you.
So you are an orphan that
demonstrated car crashes
in the mere rhythm of your hands
or melody of your speech.
But I find myself drawn to angry cobalt blue eyes
too often enough to know that
I cannot grapple out of your choke-hold
and frozen fingers will bruise me every shade of your
roaring ocean-like blue.
I can only admire the sapphire in your soul from a distance
and hope the red ruby rage turns to wine and not blood.
I have left my marks on too many wooden floorboards, pleaded with too many icy aquamarine eyes;
from boys with steel in their voices but a fury in their hearts.
Too many fingernails stuck between infinite spaces somewhere in houses
where the silence reminded me of the stillness of a teal lake in spring
your eyes are reminiscent of a grey morning I do not wish to remember
I will leave a mark here.
On the end table by the bed
A tiny Styrofoam cup
Full of unwrapped candy

In child’s writing
All caps and struggle

HAPPY HALLOWEEN
I AM SORRY
MOM

It is hard to stay angry
When you have an imagination

I picture her at a round table
******* a hospital bracelet

There are other people with her
Some have construction paper
Some have glue
There is glitter
And painted fingertips

I still get homesick
For places I have never been to
Sometimes miss people
I never even knew

There is a city inside my chest
It bustles
Pre pollution
But ***** is still legal

I have made homes there
You have a home here
In a city with
No hospitals
No graveyards
Just a cul-de-sac that starts at my throat
And double loops along my lungs
So many streets
My chest x-rays look like upside-down trees without the leaves

And when you leave
There is a house
Inside the city inside my chest
That stays empty forever

So much left behind
There is no room for anger to stay long

It exits like forgiveness
When you’ve given up all hope
When you can only reimagine so much

Some of these homes are condemned

Though it is hard to stay angry
Lots of drugs
a little drinking
lots of fights
not too much thinking

Lots of ink
a couple of scars
too many night clubs
too many bars

Lots of ***
not too much caring
lots of taking
not much sharing

Years of abuse
and selfish action
avoiding the truth
by means of distraction

Beware of this life
it's not all it seems
you block out the nightmares
by killing your dreams
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I press my hand to the window.
I feel the frantic heartbeat.
     Is that mine?
    Or the pulse of the world I long to join?
Here, take this with your food.
You inevitable helpless fool.
A puppet used among the shores of Hell.
You must listen to the bells that will never tells, or yells.
Listen, You stupid tool!

There's a princess, you see.
Dressed in the moon and covered in pearls, galore!
But sad, she is. Far from bliss.
For she has never had a real kiss.

Run with me. I'll make sure we'll stay out of sight and out of mind.
Never to be pestered  by our own inferior kind.
My abominable secret of tricks and treats.
Wrap me in the shroud of my own delightful defeats.
A puppet to thee.

Because a puppet I will forever be.
A snake to my heel.
Always to hear and feel.
And likewise, my heel to ****.

Oh faceless princess of my darkest dreams.
Is this all my humanity can bare?
Perhaps not. My brightest Nightmare.

Oh, heartless queen, how long must you torment me, so?
Bury myself six feet down below?

Here stranger, I give you my pen.
Use it as you see fit.

I don't mean to be mean, but is it lit?Your flame, I mean?
Because mine is not.
My candle is in many knots.
Lots and lots of convoluted and intricate knots.

Care to take a whack at them?
You're better off holding your breath and counting to ten, my friend.
Over and over, again.

Now please, if my princess won't return to me by ten o'clock,
Show me the way to the nearest glock.

Suicide? Never!
Maybe just sleep. Forever.
Looking trough the mirror
I was reading couple of words
                                                           ­  despair
                                                         ­   tic tac
time is changing
we are the same
the same as always
walking behind the smoke
trying to forget
the lines on the road.
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