it feels like a heart beat
but it’s just another headache

one, two
it beats over and over
and i sit here, waiting
it’s not going to stop

you were sitting in the kitchen
staring at my tea
i felt like you were watching
and counting every move

i said hello you didn’t move
your look was still as stone

you were watching me at night
your faces stained with tears
your souls were empty

i saw you coming closer
touching my face
i thought i should be sleeping
maybe i was dreaming

he came in after you
you held him really close
but you both kept staring
and i didn’t know why

i lost count of the cigarette butts outside
they were frozen and grey
everything was frozen and grey
and so were you

i started to feel
frozen and grey

the colors were fading
my thoughts were empty

nothing

she smiled as she watched
everyone was eating
but little did they know
the secret ingredient

a sprinkle of sadness with a cup of disappointment
two spoonfuls of heartache and an ounce of tears
sometimes i added
one cup of regret
and sometimes even
two eggs filled with hope

the buildings towered over her
the water kept her there
she was trapped on this island
filled with panic and despair

no one could come save her
no one even cared

she carefully pressed her lips together
so tight she couldn’t speak

this way her thoughts wouldn’t slip
out
and expose her

the alarm went off, it was nearly eight
but all she could feel were tears
pouring down her face

he kissed her nose and held her hand
but nothing stopped the tears

you're not supposed to rip your pictures
he said
but someone else once told me
a pictures worth a thousand words
so what are you supposed to do
when you want those words
dead

you don’t show emotion
as your shape splits and joins
you’re racing down my window
but there’s nothing at the end

in a way i feel like you
a useless raindrop falling
getting caught in other drops
and falling with no purpose

can I see your scars
he said to me
touching my shirt

my cheeks turned pink
I was dizzy
and embarrassed

his pale lips touched them gently
he smiled

the sea screamed melancholy
as it dragged her underwater
that sweet scent of melancholy
is what kept her going under

instead she sunk
her tears merged with the salt water
but she didn’t even notice

she could almost touch the bottom
she could almost feel the sand

we think
in categories
colors and feelings
boxes of thoughts
and feelings
immersed in dualistic thinking

we think
in categories
colors and feelings
boxes of thoughts
and feelings
immersed in dualistic thinking

i’m sorry i love you
i bet you’re sorry too

i wonder what you’re thinking
these melancholic aching thoughts

i miss the sunrise far away
and the way the water kissed my face
my bare feet on the ground
carefree and content
with the simplest of things

he kissed my forehead
oh so gentle
and chased bad dreams away

he held my hand
and wiped my tears
until i fell asleep

i love you

a picture’s worth a thousand words
or so i’ve heard them say
but what i see are feelings
trapped inside colors
and smiles
fading

what pictures holds are thoughts
unspoken words and secrets

what use are pictures filled with feelings
when all they do is hurt

they’re just a distant memory
of what you’ve lost
and things that you should forget

i won’t forget that lonely night
our bodies pressed together
you held my hand
i caught your tears

there was nothing more beautiful
than the silence we held
thoughts racing so fast
our minds just felt empty

he was staring at his coffee
i could feel it getting cold
he was simple in his sadness
and he didn’t say a word

you peak through my window
shining bright into my face
my first thought in this brightness
is just about more days

i’m always somehow counting
days, and weeks, and months
but it doesn’t really matter
each day drags on slowly

i came home last night to you
sadness, there you were
sitting on my bed
looking out my window

you longed for the raindrops that hit my window
you craved the freedom outside this room

her glass of wine fell
off the edge of the table

she followed it down
onto the floor

there was no one there
to save her
to help her

she lay there
empty
fallen