It is moments like this that I wish I was a gifted poet.
I could artfully weave words
into a sonnet exposing all of my feelings.
I could set myself free.
I could release all the pressure in my chest all through the power of words.
Sadly,
I am not a gifted poet.
I am not going to expose all of my feelings.
I will not sprout wings and fly away.
If only there was a way for the rest of us to show how we feel and rid ourselves of the parasites
eating away at us.
I try to write them but they grow too long too hungry for words.

You said that we could be together.
You said that we may not.

When you said that we could be together
I felt a little something.

When you said that we may not
I felt a little nothing.

When you said we may not
I realized that we won’t.

But then I cried
And wondered why

But that’s a lie.
I didn’t have to wonder.

Cause I know
Nothing is much worse

than something.

If I could have any ability in the world I would not want it to be the ability to stop time.
In the beginning I would use it to get work done or to get a little extra sleep before work or to get all of my tables their drinks and meals in seconds.
But it would not take long for me to start abusing it.
Suddenly I would find myself in a difficult position. I would convince myself that it was okay just this one time to postpone it just a little, to gain my thoughts, to mentally prepare but once would turn into twice. Twice into four times.
Four times would lead to eight.
Suddenly I would avoid every problem.
Every stumble.
Every single rough spot in my life would be a blink away from being paused.
Who is to say that it wouldn't become indefinite?
At some point I would become so obsessed with stopping time and avoiding every hardship that I might actually stop it
forever.
I would never let anything else hurt me
but would I smile or laugh?
I would never hold someone’s hand or wake up completely well rested with a breeze coming in my window and the smell of breakfast swimming under my nose.
The worst of it all is I would discover that in the end I was avoiding all that pain only to create on much worse;
the pain of not living.
Super powers are left to movies, comic books and my dreams yet people try to stop time
every day.
They do it by ignoring a phone call or avoiding a certain store or restaurant so they don't have to "deal" with some issue they are dreading.
But the truth is that those problems,
those things we work so hard to ignore are the best things that could ever happen to us.
If I took every negative thought and experience and eliminate it from my history, would I really be any happier?
Would I even know what happy is if I didn't know what it was like to be sad first?

I have seen many places and seen many things.
But not nearly enough.

I have met amazing people and I have met awful people.
But not nearly enough.

I have made friends and I have made enemies.
But not nearly enough.

I have loved and I have hated.
But not nearly enough.

I have made great decisions and I have made bad decisions.
But not nearly enough.

I have explored my mind and I have explored my body.
But not nearly enough.

I have felt pleasure and I have felt pain.
But not nearly enough.

I have kept secrets and I have told secrets.
But not nearly enough.

I have told truths and I have told lies.
But not nearly enough.

I have lived and I have died.
But not nearly enough.