Forgotten words
float in my head.
They drive me crazy
with the secrets they carry.
Back tracking in time
only makes them slip
further and further
into the farthest corner
of my memory,
where the purest  
flame cannot
light the walls
while I squint at
their enigma.  

I wish to tell you.
I want to tell you.
I want you to know
the words that shift
in my mind as I stir
in the folds of these sheets.
I wish to tell you.
Maybe then I will
understand their
troubling voices.
This bothers me so.
It bothers me to know
that they are forgotten.

Forgotten words
and lost time
is all that
tickles the tip of my tongue.
As hard as I search
as much as I worry
and wonder
and wait
all that I find
are those
forgotten words
that I want so badly
to remember
and lost time
that could have
been spared.

Something happened this morning
when I awoke to you lightly breathing.
It was sublime.
My chin rested on your shoulder
the skin so soft on my cheek.
I couldn’t help but kiss the sweetness.

On nights when I sleep alone
it does not matter how many blankets
wrap my restless body.
I wake cold.
Nothing is as warm as your arms.
Like that of a Texas breeze
on an August night.

I can only think to kiss
your unshaven face.  
The kisses are planted gently,
first your cheek,
then your temple,
and your forehead,
when I come to the tip of your nose
you stir slightly,
but I cannot stop.
I want it more then
the ocean waves need
the shoreline to crash upon.

Looking at your face
I smile at the odd way we met.
With a breath of *** and an intoxicated
grin we spoke.
“I don’t like you”
“Yea? Well I don’t like you first!”
Like children picking
on their first crush.
Tying to fight back the giggles.
Our childish ways still
run strong.

In your absence I sit
and watch the ticking minutes
laugh at my uneasiness.
Hours with others
are mere minutes with you.
The clocks envy
our cherished time
and tick-tock more rapidly
when we are alone.
All our time
would never be
enough.

When we get lost in each other,
the way the lonely roadrunner
looses himself as he runs
up and down
the oak covered hills,
it is love at its best.

This morning
when the soft breathes
you took woke me
and my chin rested upon
your shoulder,
something happened.
As the kisses fell
and your eyes continued to sleep;
I realized that this
is where I belong.
Drifting slowly  
into love with you.

My journey through the smoke
Led me to the other side of the mirror.
Instead of looking in
I was looking out
At all the distorted shapes
Of my mind.

Willingly I walked into the fog
That rose like ghosts from the fire.
The clouds spun me
Until I was lost in the disease.
Puffs of pleasure were past
Engulfing the ever wanting.
I drown in an ocean of haze
Stuck in the daze.
Never wanting to be found.

Gone from the world
Of reality
Brought to the world
Of enlightenment

Deeper and deeper
The fog lured me in.
I wanted to know more.
Mislead to a garden built
Of smoke and mirrors.
The forbidden fruit tastes
As sweet as they say.
Until it rots.

A walkway of pure powder
Drew a line
To the house of mirrors.
Purity never smelled so sweet.
So forgotten in the fog
I emerged in an ash like snow.

Trying to escape the haunting
images in the mirrors.
One illusion lead
to yet another.
Dead end into
the mirror
again,
again,
again .

My journey through the smoke
Led me to the other side of the mirror.
Running from my distorted mind
I found the backdoor
To my escape.

Intoxication from another’s love
is how I forget your face.
Pushing the boundaries of poisoning
day and night.
Eyes rolling back,
stomach pumping,
dizzy and spinning,
pleasure achieved.
Satisfaction?
Never.

I get drunk off of shallow love.
I crave it.
I want it.
I need it.
To forget you.
I crave the taste that numbs my senses.
I want the nausea to burn the pain.
I need the hazy feeling that throws
me into a sense of nonexistence.
I need it to forget you.

Sobriety grabs me every few days.
Anxiety finds it’s way into my mind.
I’d rather be under the influence.  
Facing reality means facing regret.
Ignore the past the way you ignore me.
Drunken state is better for forgetting.

I get intoxicated on fake love.
It makes me feel wanted
but the lump in my throat,
the loss that churns in my belly,
the swollen eyes staring from the mirror;
they **** the buzz.
Reality.
You’re gone.
Time to start forgetting.

The world constantly stirs.
Organs pump
blood and oxygen
to and from homes
streets and buildings.
Cars run by on busy roads
Construction crews destroy foundation
The people in this coffee shop
Make noise,
Drink espresso,
And taptaptaptap
On keyboards
And ticktickticktick
On smarter synapses
Than those of brains.
Twitter,
Facebook,
Pinterest,
Instagram
Wake up our phones
Propelling the world forward.
Absorbed in the pixels
Of tiny screens
We live to visit
Our loved ones
Through electronic particles
Floating on air.
The outside air is damp
Clouds dark.
The wind shakes the trees
to their bones.
The foundation of life as is now
Is about to be destroyed,
But no one notices.
Social pandemonium
Silences their voices.