walking down the line
she takes it off, one piece at a time
just to deluge the mind
of a stranger, he sits.
taking a sip, he stares.
she smiles, just a bit.
he has a twirl, she has a tip.

I can't seem to shake this.
This feeling--- get out.
Only one more day,
one more day and it will be okay.
Say it everyday
work then play.
Days to weeks, weeks to a month. two. three.
and as I look, I see change.
It has occurred.
It's different now.
but that feeling,
oh, that feeling.

I laugh at the way things used to be
and shed a tear for the times forgotten.
suppressing the most beautiful moments
so that they may be born again
undamaged by the emotions
already attached to this piece of my past

I know what you wish- that this love wasn't worth the risk.
painful memories of shattered hearts and broken relations
stalk your soul and whisper words of doubt into your open ears.
you do your best to ignore them,
walking away and praying for them to leave the past and join you in the now-
happiness. contentment. understanding.
that 's all in the now, it is the now, and you, you on the deepest level of your soul
you know this.
and the certainty of this idea, it's oozing from your pores.
filling the air- sufficating!
not in a way that is hurtful or uncomfortable, no.
but as a womb. safe and secure. beautiful.

I just want to be my own perfect
not you, or anyone else
I don't want to look like her
and I don't need to be with him

I just want to wake up in the morning
every morning

and see myself without a blemish.
myself through God's eyes
how magnificant

Maybe I'm not trying to protect myself
huh, ever think of that?
Maybe I just don't want it.
not right now.
I've had enough.
why can't that be just okay?
Without anyone trying to interfere with that.
I'm sorry I can't be the one
to make you believe in fairy tales
or the movies you watch on TV
I'm just not that girl

The Clouds as Rolling Hillsides
the Sky turns into Sea
I wonder if the vague illusions
are looking up at me
counting every Airplane
every inch the smoke trails in mind
as i move across the Ocean
leaving my days behind
forgetting how large the World is
from up here it's easy to suggest
that Anything and Everything is not
just a dream.
for a man once thought a Jet.