how did my evenings turn into darkness again?

like a sunflower lowers its head after sunset

am i getting bad again?

even the anticipation turned into a nightmare

she’s surrounded of people she knows
but they are surrounded of someone they don’t know
because they don’t wanna know her
but they know each other
expect of her
so why should they
know
her.

isn‘t it funny
how you turn your actions
into my fault

Do you see me? I ask myself

I'm like a fading cloud for you.
I'm fading over the sky, but i'm not looking like the way you wish i would.
I'm just a cloud.
A white little stormy cloud.
A cloud who wants to be seen.
From your eyes.
From your mind.
From you.
Just you.

Keep more dreams yourself then the reality could destroy

I'm feeling like there is no air left to breath
Like i'm drowning in a bottle full of tears
Like my heart is screaming for a break
Like my head is a 24/7 party with bad toughts$
Like i'm searching for the one ant in the wood
Like i'm drawing with color but turns black on the paper
Like i'm reaching for hope but it always take a step back so i can never reach it
Like i would die but no one notices because i'm the one who everyone thinks  "she will make it"

Will i make it?