i was 5 years old, when my tiny hands had no parents to hold
i was 7 years old, when my childish soul shattered in thousand of pieces
i was 10 years old, when my world was collapsing
i was 12 years old, when i found my shattered soul laying in unreachable places
i was 15 years old, when my life had lost its last value
i was 17 years old, when i realized, that i barely had the opportunity to be a child
i was 20 years old, when i tried to get the parental care from everyone except from those who had the obligation to do that, in the unhealthiest ways
i am 23 years old, healing from the things i never can get blamed for but i still have to manage
i am 23 years old, carrying a shattered children’s sould, trying to bring all pieces together
i am 23 years old and i‘m the best version of myself after surviving the worst version of myself
i am 23 years old and i‘ll never get a chance for a delightful and warming childhood
i am 23 years old and i never had parents and i‘ll never have

„i‘m glad when i can go to work“ is my biggest scream of surviving in a burning wood

suddenly i am swimming in the ocean
without anything to keep me above the water
and there are waves come and go
i can’t even prepare myself for them
there are just happening in a second
and i‘m still above the water
but
how
much
longer?

walking on thin, cracked ice without knowing why the ice is thin and cracked is the hardest thing to deal with

where my sun once shone is now a heavily rain poured in from the people i love

i see everything you never were in the other people

my heart is so heavy, with every step i take i drag a whole bunch of bricks with me