Things will be different,
next time; of course,
If i don’t see you,
feel you, enjoy you,
in my dreams,
I’ll probably just get out of bed.

Maybe that time,
for the sunday seance,
and the animate ceremony,
i will remember it.
Instead of letting the sweet breeze,
and rain drops lull me back to daze,

And when i do awake,
despite all of my will,
resting there next to me,
i will have what it takes,
to crawl, walk, run,
and wash last night off of myself

Not a rainbow in the place,
could light up that face,
the way her sun did.

Butterflies in the storm,
Only one loon on this lake..

Hoppers in the field;
You get stung going up
the hill; not down it.

I believe this is the hole,
for which i am looking.

This leads to the trail,
if you do permit,

me; go home.

i am that which is lost in translation;
figures that don’t add up.
Each one has their own expression,
in a medium no others' use.

i am based in that which is not understood:
beyond the conceivable mind.
sprouting into observable matter,
but not limited to its physical ideals.

Everyone of us is a golden rod,
marked with a golden seal,
in a metaphysical aero plane
soaring above a mass continent-uity.

Everything was ******,
And then it got dark.

&& then..
                   ..i drifted..
                                         ..away

A gentle valley,
Bare feet,
Reverberating Earth.

Midnight's dewey veil,
Not yet lifted

Those are bones you're walkin on, son.
I'll only go a bit further..

"I do hope she's alright."

have i got problems

love
LUH-ve

noun

- a firm belief in both magic carpets, and placebo effect.

Right before i took the time to notice,
two full radiant moons,
floating over the horizon,
not terribly far from one another,

and the light that played off of them,
incredibly flashing from one to the other,
and that strike of borealis,
no different from a midnight rainbow,

with the technology coming through it,
only to touch down next to us,
in fear that it would harm me,
but truly only trying to locate your sister.

I was in a room with an instructor,
a few other students as well,
discussing triumph and failure,
and losing it all into the ethers.

Not so different from the room i ended up in,
the dorm of that that ****** institution,
pumping up people with chemicals,
and changing them for eternity.

Before we started the bickering,
arguing my lack of ability to quell you,
and how my parents left me inept,
while i knew we both ended up here for a reason,

and  before those sickening walls,
I had seen the wound you came to me with,
from you heart right to your ovaries,
cut deep, but not all the way through.

Yes, and when you asked me to help i submitted,
and did my best to oblige, even knowing,
there was nothing for you i could do,
but continue to love you as i had.

And so escape was plotted, from the walls made of petroleum,
and slowly they removed any and all things,
that would remind us of ourselves,
those people that had once existed outside,

and further we drifted from the two glowing moons,
only to get stuck in that room with forced loons,
and the skies grew darker by the day,
and the lights never turned off at night.

How those words,
do ring true.

You would have to be pretty hollow,
for them to echo this long.

echo they do
echo they do

We met in my dream last night,
I didn’t know it was you,
but now i am aware.

Your boyfriend did loads of ****,
I even took a rip once,
just to keep them from tearing me apart.

We travelled along together,
In an open air vehicle,
blowing chemical-glass smoke,
and not caring whatsoever.

You were so beautiful in that dream,
kind as well; just as your boyfriend,
seemed nice enough,
lots of ****, though.

Might have a whiskey,
Might have a water,
Might make amends,
Might make a slaughter.

You thought the walls were breathing,
but i can see their veins

I. Loathing

i would’ve torn you
a few new
if you knew
what i’d seen,
with eyes sewn
when i was shown
too soon.

II. Contrivance

The substance i walked through,
in dream this morning,
was most magnificent in composure:
crunching under one’s foot
like snow, or like sand,
but not cold to the touch,
nor did it stick when wet,

&& although the white tiny particles
poured out of the mountain,
on the side of it we walked,
holding your little hand.

I knew down the stretch was a beautiful beach,
where this substance,
met a glistening body of water.

Your animal was loving, just as you,
&& although your name surprised me,
i was in love to hear it nonetheless.

Your father had not yet arrived,
&& in your absence,
i left a tiny piece of my heart,
in your notebook.

The sign on the bus said “Omaha”,
and it seemed so familiar,
but my memoryscreamed
somewhere like Mqt, Ca.,

&& although i didn't acquaint with the other troublemakers
on the back of the bus, as i waited, i watched.

You came up to me, and our embrace
was so warm, your tiny ribs against mine,
beautiful brown hair in my face.

How strange it was, in this sun bathed dream,
when you should tell me your name,
i should not understand it at first,
&& asking again, focusing within your fortunate eyes,
you told me exactly what i should need to hear.
&& ponder i did, although
not without first telling you how lovely it was.

III. Realization

It seems you and i
have both fallen short
of our prospective places
in Babylon.

For i have not grown
into the man
you once dreamt
i should be,

and you are no longer
the lovely girl
i once thought
i would marry.

You and i are free to be
what we are; without
persecution or judgement
from one another,

but we both must understand
the waves we created
when our dreams and realities
did not actually coincide,

&& perhaps the dreams
that i have had, and still am having
are just ripples
from a past that didn’t happen.

IV. Peroration

You're no longer the dreamer
i fell in love with,
&& i am no longer the dream
you thought you once loved,

but please may we
free our hearts and release
all the contempt
we hold one another in?

It’s not your fault
you were everything i wanted,
and it wasn’t enough
to quell my soul.

please know though,
we need not hold knots,
and let our cold spots,
and ill thoughts rot; within.

it’s not my fault
you dreamt me so;
with weight unfelt in this world,
but i am only a feather.

We are free to be
if we only freed ourselves to be,
We are no different
if only we freed ourselves to be.

I woke up today,
without a name,
i have a face,
but it is not mine,
at least it was not.

All i know ,
is how to breathe,
deeply and fully,
expiring,
consciously as well.

What else is there,
for someone who knows,
how to do nothing,
better than any other?

i woke up today,
with a beautiful view,
of nothing,
turning into nothing,
and everything,
in between.

all i know,
is every beginning’s end,
and all the ends’ start,
does not happen;
here at least.

To give you the world,
would be no better than a cage,
for a lovely soul,
such as your self.

It’s true what they say,
for the freedom that you love,
can so easily,
be taken away.

The radiant gold,
and beautiful hues,
warm, tingling scents,
are of home.

But to bottle you up,
for selfish’s sake,
would only do both of us harm.

How unfortunate it is,
my love for you,
takes such drastic measures,

and if i don’t walk away,
i cannot guarantee ,
our happiness for all of eternity.

Perhaps you will flutter,
your lovely little wings,
in the direction of mine,
one day.

And i will consider myself lucky,
for knowing you as you are,
when you knew you,
were where you wanted to be.

Please sing me a song,
on that glorious day,
one of conflict and of resolution.

As your lips whisper,
our ears they will tickle,
and our hearts can lay down peacefully,
and die.

I didn’t say goodbye
when i left;
I only walked out,
Through your front door.

You were busy,
having words,
with your sister,
on the telephone.

Air was quite clear,
outside that door;
Sun shining brightly,
above.

No place to go,
without aim in sight,
but only to be;
needless of me.

Sold the deal,
as the door sealed,
and the lock clicked;
there is no more.

You were supposed
to elevate as well,
and i know;
if this is elevated,
who would want anything
to do with it?

But really now
we were here once,
and you left,
and so i am here;
left with a silly decision:
to have it all, or void.

i was looking for a reason,
to get out of bed
this early afternoon,
but found none,
and got up anyways;
the love was in my pocket.

I am grateful to have nothing,
want nothing,
and be nothing.
Perhaps the picture painted,
on the blank canvas,
was there all along.