Un otro dia en el paraíso
rainbows overhead,
and the black of my soul
spewed across my own belly.

Must've awoke in light,
for now I am the penetrating darkness.
The spots cannot be washed,
only moved to suit the life.

You were so naked in front of me,
but my unending frustration hindered evermore,
my scarce chance at you.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell what's light,
and what is it shining on?
For neither seems to quell this feeling;
Oh well, perhaps it's on to Waghdas.

Awoke to the fro’s,
and to’s with ease.

On a sea of leaves,
waving high in breeze.

With might enough,
to set man’s soul free.

Oh how it gives me feels,
to be amongst these trees.

Feeling like romeo just after
drinking that ineffective love potion.
Instead of freezing myself in time,
i will love for an eternity
taking on new forms when we need.

That must make you my honey-covered blackberry, Juliet
craving more always, but understanding
why there is just never enough.

This morning rain is dark, clear, lush, and boisterous;
nothing like the scent you left me with,
which brings me back to our observatory,
watching atoms collide in chaotic harmony;
yes that was then, but oh how this is now!

Look out for fox this morning,
as he is sure to marry this certain dream,
if light rays peak through
varnishing reflective wash,
and reveal the rainbows streaking from our souls.

Song birds will sing as oxygen flows,
To where it was observed,
from nobody knows.

___
Intermezzo


Today the mourning doves cry out all afternoon
just as the willows weep, and swoon,
and sun masked brilliantly by clouds
that surround

shining brightly on everything,
but not directly on down
so the flowers in trees, in hope of new glee
look around and beg the Sun, “shine on me will you please?”

but the rain is still falling
gently like your tingling kisses
and the fox hasn’t stopped chasing
perhaps to find his rainbow mistress

Such a silly haircut
on my little toe-headed girl
it was all *******,
and short on the sides

bangs falling short
above those light blue eyes

and we stared at each other
for a long, long while
admiring the chub on her cheeks
and the dimples in her smile

i suppose she looked just like you,
although you weren't here to be found
in the thick of South Africa
with accents that did astound me

and i did get the chance to brag
about my little honey-babe
with dirt on her hands
and a smile on her face

to a friend i knew long ago
in her place next to the structure
of eternal expedition
in the form of stimulation
at the users' best convenience

con paso de los días
mi corazón deambula aún más,
y se une
a mi pensamiento:
               con usted

I’ve seen so much love in this world,
i don’t even know what to do without it.
To say you aren’t the most beautiful
part of all; that would be a lie,
but you know she, and he, and i are too.

This will bounce all night if you let it; if i let it,
and in between the rhythm,
is a space so dark and cold,
the light pulses become detectable,
from years away, and how i see it now:

Space echoes, deep and long
wavelengths so spread, you’d think they were forgot,
but when the light is seen, the rainbow revealed,
all this nonsense finds it’s way ,
into sensical thought space, and maybe
you’ll see the dark side of your moon.

Well i do forget from time to time,
if i weren’t mistaken actually,
its the forget i do best, and only slightly time
to time, because space in between,
sometimes means more than the light itself,

These lines, they reflect
on themselves, and repeat as far as they reach,
and we let them, allowing more space between
for things unseen, that young girls believe,
but that’s just between you and we.

Oh how just as it starts to come together,
it falls back away, or changes complete pace
as you were about to land
the ground lost its place;
no face to save.

It is what it is, really,
and sometimes it is what’s not,
but the meteors that burn up
are the most dazzling thing in the sky;
that is in your eyes.

Catching Butterflies
with a broken net.
You’d think i’m trying very hard;
really i’m just blowing in the wind,
like you, and yours.

Just give me some more,
while i’m here, while you’re here.
That’s all we’ve got,
and god knows you don’t want,
anything more from me when that’s over.

And i? well i’ll act like i do,
but, actually, that’s no worry to you
for Wolfy’s got no room for 2,
and what am i worth to you?
Nothing more than gum stuck to your glorious shoe.

I can’t make you feel better,
i can only help you help yourself,
and as far as jobs go,
well i’m one for play,
so pick yourself up.

I’m going to be here when you leave,
i’ll probably think about you,
but once again, i know better,
than to actually distract myself,
with the beauty and light you have.

When the dark comes,
i hope you stay lit, baby,
because i shine brightest at night,
and these times you may not need the light,
i’ll keep myself warm and tight,
and hope you feel alright.

This spiral’s on its way down,
and watch all you want,
but keep your distance,
as i don’t care to take you with,
and god knows i’m not goin’ anywhere.

So maybe just tonight,
under firefly light,
we can catch butterflies,
with broken nets,
and you can leave, feeling alright

The day the Cowboy was wrong,
was a beautiful day on Earth,
as it was his last here,
and he knew it was coming.

He awoke, knowing he would no longer,
as the vermillion sun rose,
over the mountains to the east,
dissolving all fog and doubt.

Dust whirled to his north,
alerting him to the Great Spirit’s presence,
“It was nice of you to come.
You know, not many could do this.”

He heated up a *** of coffee,
and rolled one last cigarette,
remembering vividly coyote,
coming to him that night.

Coyote explained he was wrong,
and understanding so,
all of nature collided,
bringing with it the end and beginning of all things.

As a flash of a memory dissipated,
Cowboy listened to nature’s song,
a beautiful one, the sound of nothing,
becoming everything, and nothing again.

He washed his face,
and instead of burning that smoke,
he let it put itself out,
giving it back to Mother Earth.

Just as crow arrived,
and made sound that it should be time,
he followed crow,
knowing he was wrong.

Cowboy said goodbye to no one,
and his friends, they continued;
in the last town, and in the next,
but here in no man’s land, Cowboy was it

And so he forged on,
following crow,
knowing today, the day he was wrong,
was his last day on Earth.

Finally figured out today,
how to cook a meal for just 1.
It’s been how many years since then?
probably the same until i see you again,

and just when i thought,
i might need a friend,
the food is all gone,
no need for seconds.

Must’ve been the perfect amount,
as there’s none left on the pans,
and i couldn’t dare eat another bite,
i find, as my plate returns to clean.

No pictures for the web,
not even a trace of the love spent,
only dishes in the sink, soaking,
and the need to roll up a cigarette.

This album on repeat,
enough time to have my eat,
and all the dishes cleaned,
This stanza on repeat.

We’re well into today,
but it’s the first time i’ve filled,
no harm was done,
no animals killed. (i hope)

And all else falls away,
as the clock reads 4-twenty,
the olives were a nice touch,
but that’s all you get.

Perhaps a cup,
of cowboy coffee,
to compliment,
the digesting refection.

This album on repeat,
smoke is rolled for me,
and all the dishes cleaned,
This life is on repeat.

This morning:
Neighbors loudly left,
Children ramped up,
&& mother short tempered.

My spirit followed them out,
where you were delivering mail,
despite Sunday ritual.

You took me with you to the reservation,
where life slowly goes,
&& days are bright.

The land was empty,
few houses stood,
each full of family,
doing family things,
on a Sunday.

I asked to come in,
&& wished to do my best,
heal the wounds,
of a culture torn apart in the past.

It wasn’t long before my hands,
found the body of a beautiful native,
&& i did my best to treat her right,
to make her feel better.

her family understood,
in heated healing, our bodies covered in sweat,
&& when i left i brushed her cheek,
a golden drop, to fall like a tear.

Then:
i embodied those that i came to help;
Warrior spirit of the west,
once again covered in blood.

You see:
this morning i awoke,
&& fell a little further into it.
All the agony of a peoples spirit,
in one d r a w n-o u t dream,

Both the bottoms of my feet
They had pierced
in the exact place i felt on hers;
the pain of an entire nation,
blood was drawn,
all over Earth’s floor.

i continued to walk,
despite debilitating injuries.

They came looking,
as if to return me to my cage,
but coyote does what it pleases,
&& this time around hell was to be raised.

I penetrated their deepest,
the “conservancy” as they called it,
&& it was almost as if i was welcomed.
(lucidly mistook for a part of the attraction)

Consequently the foreign men,
working the grounds,
opened the gates for me to limp through,
as tears rolled down my face,
&& blood spilled from my bare feet.

It wasn’t long after the guards came looking,
and found the trail of blood,
right back to their viewpoint,
as if they could really see what they had done.

The chase:
found the line they wished least to travel,
and forced my broken body down it,
knowing they would eventually follow.

When i was discovered,
covered in ****,
one man, then two, then five,
all took turns beating my body,

How it hurt, but it’s that i felt!
as i continued to snarl, kick, and break free.
There was no restraining my soul,
even as my corpse was beat ******.

With such a realization it all halted...
subdued sure,
but this spirit was not won,
they were wounded,
&& i, blessed enough to die,

Looking Back:
as if through a playlist,
song on queue: Ceremony.
In remembrance always of this ****** Sunday,

&& forever would coyote make a difference,
&& never would the Warrior of the west,
embody anything but a blood red, setting sun,
&& that is why today,
i did not wake.

It is so much more rewarding,
to eat the food brought by dreams,
than any worldly delicacies,
and the weight which they bring.

For in your dreams there is no reward;
nothing to gain/nothing to lose,
and the tastes change tremendously,
as frequently as the frequency of brain waves.

There is no need to fill up,
count calories, protein, or nutrients,
and when it settles in your belly,
makes you realize you didn’t need, but only wanted.

In the dream however,
there is no want or need,
and it entices itself into your mouth,
only to return to eternity.

Sattvic?
Maybe in my understanding.
I’d rather sleep three times daily,
than consider an American diet.

If you are what you eat,
perhaps i consist of dreams,
and this food it makes me feel good,
not fasting, merely fast asleep in dream.

Somewhere between the throbbing tinnitus,
and tummy ache from liver damage,
my eyes rolled round,
and found focus on bliss.

Remembering the moments of pure distortion,
accompanied by breath,
and disrupted with the anthem,
of a hundred kids unyielding.

“All you have to do now is breathe,
You’ve done it to yourself boy.”
And a smoke coated couch,
has never smelled so great.

I’m staring at heaven,
though my eyes are closed,
and the sun now rises,
over a broken painted wall.

Punk rock paradise,
moaning out of tempo,
everyone’s waiting to get lit,
if only you’ve got a spark.

After a thorough thrashing,
we cram into the whip,
and my head finds solace,
pushed up against your seat.

The bands roll in,
everyone drops out,
to a B-flick joke,
room filled with smoke.

After you all left, your party that is,
I ended up parkouring a bit,
through a beautiful display of bamboo,
and wooden structures,
and found myself amongst friends,

Thai ladies who recognized me,
from the last time i had been here,
and we picked up conversation,
exactly where we had left off.

The one on my left was from Chiang-Rai,
she was beautiful, and spoke english well,
while the one to my right,
who also spoke well, was much more foreign,
and much less cute.

After finalizing the feelings,
it was off to the festival of life,
and the veggie food cart, once again,
was happy to see my face.

I told them as i had last time,
“Come to get a massage,
we can exchange for bomb food,
and all will work out well.”

Somehow these fields of love,
brought me back to prison walls,
and a game of basketball,
amongst angsty inmates,

and the soup that was bought for me,
for i could not pay, and we lost the game,
but all was not lost,
as i was given the keys to the jailhouse band,

and almost instantly i was back in that bar,
with my dad getting me drunk,
and buying tons of groceries,
to feed all the new friends.

It seems i had been given a deal:
they wanted 4oz on the front,
and i would be in the band,
and my dad could manage it all,

but just as easily i was sitting on a couch,
taking such a fat rip of bho,
that without missing a beat,
i remembered its exactly what i shouldn’t have done.

Right before i took the time to notice,
two full radiant moons,
floating over the horizon,
not terribly far from one another,

and the light that played off of them,
incredibly flashing from one to the other,
and that strike of borealis,
no different from a midnight rainbow,

with the technology coming through it,
only to touch down next to us,
in fear that it would harm me,
but truly only trying to locate your sister.

I was in a room with an instructor,
a few other students as well,
discussing triumph and failure,
and losing it all into the ethers.

Not so different from the room i ended up in,
the dorm of that that ****** institution,
pumping up people with chemicals,
and changing them for eternity.

Before we started the bickering,
arguing my lack of ability to quell you,
and how my parents left me inept,
while i knew we both ended up here for a reason,

and  before those sickening walls,
I had seen the wound you came to me with,
from you heart right to your ovaries,
cut deep, but not all the way through.

Yes, and when you asked me to help i submitted,
and did my best to oblige, even knowing,
there was nothing for you i could do,
but continue to love you as i had.

And so escape was plotted, from the walls made of petroleum,
and slowly they removed any and all things,
that would remind us of ourselves,
those people that had once existed outside,

and further we drifted from the two glowing moons,
only to get stuck in that room with forced loons,
and the skies grew darker by the day,
and the lights never turned off at night.

Things seem to be
somewhat real this evening
a chalice moon
far in the west
dare i say, lonely?

and for once this comes to me
without me being asleep
and i find the words to speak
from another kind of dream

things would be so easy
if the same **** appealed to me
at least they would be cheap
because cheap is so easy

if only for a moment
before fake lights upon my eyes
and options in front of me
barraged with packaging

the air it seems to be
enough to sober me
moisture frozen to my face
as i occupy the space

enlivened by the opportunity
of moving place to place
to get that necessity
and return to a place high in the trees

i'd rather take you away,
and **** you my self,
than never see you,
and know you’re the cutest ******,
that town has ever seen,
and have the prettiest hands,
that have ever made,
domino’s pizza.

Why must we torture ourselves?
i haven’t had nicotine in days,
caffeine in weeks,
and only 2 meals a day,
and yet i feel so strung up;
tied to the habits i didn’t even hold on to.

its a horrible trick:
to show yourself such a beautiful image,
of what could be,
knowing especially the ****,
that is underneath,
and under that?
Sure its a light so full,
gold doesn’t even come near.

i always find this here,
in the realm of my heart:
my true nature all around,
and my tears all on the ground.
For i could have, would have, should have,
all day long,
but what did i?
No i was not; we must’ve both been mistaken.

i’d promise you heaven,
but you can only give it to yourself,
and as for the rest of us here:
well we will blow around like tumbleweeds,
at the bottom of this oxygen ocean,
flowing hitherto from the last accident,
as it burns through, and from us.

this is not poetry,
this is not even clever,
words to scream so nobody will hear,
if nothing else,
i’ve got lungs to ******* breathe about it.

You were all there,
with me,
as usual,
only something strange took over;

A thin film of reality
coated everything,
in those sunny fields,
on that day time.

The way you said your name
made them all think it, “Sarah,”
but you and i both knew,
that wasn’t really the case,

and furthermore,
we were there together,
and i destined to push you,
against the wall to kiss your face.

that laugh and smile,
all that i needed to see,
a ****** in babylon,
is a princess in hell,

and i’d probably write you a poem,
if only it wouldn’t solidify,
the cage you radiate inside,
the one in my mind.

i suppose i could laugh,
maybe cry, or just ignore,
the joy your presence brings,
waking up, falling for more,

and inside i guess  i know,
if this is how it shall be,
it will truly never work this way,
you outside, not inside me.

Only moments ago
when dogs weren’t barking,
and arctic chills hadn’t yet run up my spine;
before the brightness of today,
had yet to burn into my retinas,
and these eyes hadn’t seen the beginnings,
of a snow falling day.

I was in the jungle,
high in paradise,
kissing foreign girls,
with foreign tongues,
and speaking to old friends,
in languages i did not know,
about things i did not care for.

Riding frivolously down the ‘wrong’ path,
headed in the opposite direction,
only to be corrected,
by a friendly local, explaining,
“Love, love is in that direction;
the one you just came,
and from whence you will return.”

And the night fell, and tourists grew scared,
for the streets held all sorts of responsibilities,
and although i had been crying,
those lovely tears of joy, after being handed
the red rock of my fate, by a man seeming friend,
not long after dark,
he was forcing bags into unsuspecting customers’ hands.

after refusing, after breaking off from the rest,
as they attempted to coral me,
and the bag of loot in my hand
barricades had no effect, as my heart and soul,
this vibrating force of nature not to be reckoned with,
shed its timidity, its apprehensiveness,
and revealed that black leopard coat and delta growl,

and instead of opening up that beast,
to let it tear through those wanting the best of me,
i stretched myself out, in a warm bed,
and opened my eyes to see,
the dog curled up at my feet,
and a slit of sunlight from outside,
lights now off, day now on.

i may have some nasty habits
hell: i know it’s in me,
but there’s a moment in there,
maybe just one,
between the crumbling oats in my mouth,
and the silence that exists.

Despite the music playing from my computer,
remembering becomes easy,
and that tiny piece of easy,
despite the whole bunch of difficult.

that moment of stillness,
reminding me of the last,
with all the difficult in between,
that tiny space is heaven,
and i may be far from it,
but i’ll be back;
my habits and I.

Smell the lotus,
she is here.
Breathe her in:
slowly, fully.

Her light, traces, you will see,
You remember her smile,
and ahh.. those dimples;
she does not mind,
to keep you a muse.

Next time just let her know:
the lights dancing around her,
are for you to perceive.

She is here as always,
that tickling presence,
right at the tip of your nose.

Petals float gently to the ground;
all around,
and all is revealed,
bathed in morning light,
and just as easily
the retreat into tonight.

They all said, “No!”
But i screamed on,
and my boomerang took flight,
to put an end to artificial light.

We were escaping harsh reality,
You and i were to be free.
When that boomerang got chucked,
we’d see the real revolutionary.

It would’ve been run down by their trucks,
but instead you brought it to me,
and we ran hand in hand,
down the back alley.

We were headed to the north,
just You and I.
Leaving the snow covered wasteland,
the only ones left truly alive.

I. Loathing

i would’ve torn you
a few new
if you knew
what i’d seen,
with eyes sewn
when i was shown
too soon.

II. Contrivance

The substance i walked through,
in dream this morning,
was most magnificent in composure:
crunching under one’s foot
like snow, or like sand,
but not cold to the touch,
nor did it stick when wet,

&& although the white tiny particles
poured out of the mountain,
on the side of it we walked,
holding your little hand.

I knew down the stretch was a beautiful beach,
where this substance,
met a glistening body of water.

Your animal was loving, just as you,
&& although your name surprised me,
i was in love to hear it nonetheless.

Your father had not yet arrived,
&& in your absence,
i left a tiny piece of my heart,
in your notebook.

The sign on the bus said “Omaha”,
and it seemed so familiar,
but my memoryscreamed
somewhere like Mqt, Ca.,

&& although i didn't acquaint with the other troublemakers
on the back of the bus, as i waited, i watched.

You came up to me, and our embrace
was so warm, your tiny ribs against mine,
beautiful brown hair in my face.

How strange it was, in this sun bathed dream,
when you should tell me your name,
i should not understand it at first,
&& asking again, focusing within your fortunate eyes,
you told me exactly what i should need to hear.
&& ponder i did, although
not without first telling you how lovely it was.

III. Realization

It seems you and i
have both fallen short
of our prospective places
in Babylon.

For i have not grown
into the man
you once dreamt
i should be,

and you are no longer
the lovely girl
i once thought
i would marry.

You and i are free to be
what we are; without
persecution or judgement
from one another,

but we both must understand
the waves we created
when our dreams and realities
did not actually coincide,

&& perhaps the dreams
that i have had, and still am having
are just ripples
from a past that didn’t happen.

IV. Peroration

You're no longer the dreamer
i fell in love with,
&& i am no longer the dream
you thought you once loved,

but please may we
free our hearts and release
all the contempt
we hold one another in?

It’s not your fault
you were everything i wanted,
and it wasn’t enough
to quell my soul.

please know though,
we need not hold knots,
and let our cold spots,
and ill thoughts rot; within.

it’s not my fault
you dreamt me so;
with weight unfelt in this world,
but i am only a feather.

We are free to be
if we only freed ourselves to be,
We are no different
if only we freed ourselves to be.

To give you the world,
would be no better than a cage,
for a lovely soul,
such as your self.

It’s true what they say,
for the freedom that you love,
can so easily,
be taken away.

The radiant gold,
and beautiful hues,
warm, tingling scents,
are of home.

But to bottle you up,
for selfish’s sake,
would only do both of us harm.

How unfortunate it is,
my love for you,
takes such drastic measures,

and if i don’t walk away,
i cannot guarantee ,
our happiness for all of eternity.

Perhaps you will flutter,
your lovely little wings,
in the direction of mine,
one day.

And i will consider myself lucky,
for knowing you as you are,
when you knew you,
were where you wanted to be.

Please sing me a song,
on that glorious day,
one of conflict and of resolution.

As your lips whisper,
our ears they will tickle,
and our hearts can lay down peacefully,
and die.

I woke up today,
without a name,
i have a face,
but it is not mine,
at least it was not.

All i know ,
is how to breathe,
deeply and fully,
expiring,
consciously as well.

What else is there,
for someone who knows,
how to do nothing,
better than any other?

i woke up today,
with a beautiful view,
of nothing,
turning into nothing,
and everything,
in between.

all i know,
is every beginning’s end,
and all the ends’ start,
does not happen;
here at least.

Might have a whiskey,
Might have a water,
Might make amends,
Might make a slaughter.

We met in my dream last night,
I didn’t know it was you,
but now i am aware.

Your boyfriend did loads of ****,
I even took a rip once,
just to keep them from tearing me apart.

We travelled along together,
In an open air vehicle,
blowing chemical-glass smoke,
and not caring whatsoever.

You were so beautiful in that dream,
kind as well; just as your boyfriend,
seemed nice enough,
lots of ****, though.

I haven’t touched this thing in days,
why must i still hold on to it?
are these all just figures?
figuratively portraits take on,
a shape of their own.

An ebb and a flow exists,
only if you believe it to.
pushing forward, thruward, onward,
or taking,
one word,
at a time;
in time,
on time,
over time,
through time,
on an infinite scale,
over ever increasing proportions.

it all relaxes,
and that which we tried;
tried so hard to understand,
takes shape just in front of us,
as if if we hadn’t tried at all,
in the first place been conscious ,
that it all would’ve fallen into place,
and effortlessly, inclusively,
that which was once indescribable,
takes shape just in front of us,
in the form of what we said,
and how it looks.

Things will be different,
next time; of course,
If i don’t see you,
feel you, enjoy you,
in my dreams,
I’ll probably just get out of bed.

Maybe that time,
for the sunday seance,
and the animate ceremony,
i will remember it.
Instead of letting the sweet breeze,
and rain drops lull me back to daze,

And when i do awake,
despite all of my will,
resting there next to me,
i will have what it takes,
to crawl, walk, run,
and wash last night off of myself

To be your friend:
i bare,
all the weight,
of being in love.

To be in love:
i must bare,
all the weight,
of being a friend.

To be an artist:
i suffer,
all the weight,
of being alive.

To be alive:
i suffer,
all the fate,
of being man.

There is no greater Love,
there is no greater Love.

The only real problem,
with sanity is:
everybody is trying,
to be in it.

if there were room,
for all the heads,
that want to be in sanity,
nobody would actually,
want to be in it.

The scarcity of the sane,
is quite astounding,
for not many,
have actually gotten in,

and nobody got in sane,
by trying to be there.
truthfully everybody is,
already in sane;
they first must realize it.

The only real problem,
with sanity is,
how I have tried,
to get away.

You watch that rainbow,
wait for it to touch down,
hurrying to meet it on the ground,
it’s just like any other rainbow.

Surely it touches somewhere,
it penetrates deeply,
and leaves all stricken aw,

That rainbow,
all those colors, and emotions,
they touched you,
right in the ether.

Who would’ve thought,
death could taste so good,
sweet light green,
hints of mint,
those deep purple undertones.

And the vibrating of a soul,
shaking loose an exterior,
misunderstood and abused,
but no more.

Those who haven’t,
may just turn back,
but here we are,
on the verge.

Of what?
there is no "why?"
not "because"
all of it for this.

just look forward,
none of that matters now,
i’m not coming back,
i’m not coming back.

A strange day,
to be a life.
Snow keeps fallin’,
Sun still on the rise.

A dream blanket,
coating existence,
the beauty in the air,
is nearly palpable.

Everything struggles on,
every piece,
of this thing,
struggles on.

Above this grey,
the big grey,
the sun is shinning,
a beautiful day.

Under the sill,
of a metaphoric window,
i place my pillow,
my head will lay.

Could ask for no more,
could ask for no less,
how great to be alive,
and yet to experience death.

When not looking,
One might begin to see:
smoke & sparkles.

Just enough to distract,
enveloping the truth all the same.

Do not worry though,
It means: you are near,
to seeing things as they are.

Dashing sparkles,
no less than falling stars,
&& signals of smoke,
dense enough inside to get lost.

I’ve gotten pretty good,
at tricking my self to sleep,
make believe i’m really tired,
and how i really want those dreams.

Everyone else is sleeping,
or trying to be awake,
but here i am now,
consciously alone.

The ambient noises,
and vibrant colors,
of shapeless existence,
and indeterminable wealth.

somber scents,
and weightless thoughts,
about heroes dead,
and gone.

As time slips by,
i am only aware,
as best i can be,
of these breaths.

As it is,
Inspiration being,
the only thing,
which hasn’t left this eve.

You see more of me,
in the hours you’re asleep;
than when you’re ready.

instead you release,
all the while i relieve,
and ask for nothing,
far and few in between .

out of sight,
out of mind,
but return we shall,
in your dreams you believe.

like a memory to retrieve,
faithful; loyal,
ready to seize,
if i, you, we please.

I prepared a beautiful meal today,
both tasty and nutritious,
with all the proper ingredients,
spices, and with love.

It took quite a while,
to figure out just what to put in,
but with proper timing,
it all came out perfectly.

And i devoured that food;
that nourishing food,
and loved every universal bite;
down to the last atom.

It was a whole process:
the careful nibbling,
and scraping of the plate;
a food covered canvas.

Now i’m lying in my bed,
both warm and comforting,
with all the necessary pillows,
naked, and alone.

It has been quite some time,
since last licking my fingers clean,
but as with all things,
it is all turning into ****.

I am tortured by the form you have taken,
by your representation and illumination.
it is nothing other than pure ecstasy,
dipped in radiance,
and toasted to a golden crisp.

I am always left with wanting more.
More means without any ends;
the sun shining brightly,
and you forever smiling upon me.

You are decadent.
swirling around in the desires,
that exist for you, without you,
and in that casting you lay in wait,
spring loaded and ready to accept,
that which is asked of you.

You are forever more,
encompassing my passion,
and passionately encompassing,
all the threads of my being.

We are not so different,
You and I,
A means without an end,
and an end without any means

I fell in love,
with a beautiful girl,
so i turned around,
and left her the world.

i only eat,
when i need to ****,
the ghost would stop haunting,
if i could take a hint.

I look for you,
every time i am here,
without words to give,
only things to forget.

you treat me like,
the child i am,
without trying,
to humor my ego.

I am ******* you darling,
for i am ******* myself,
such a beautiful piece,
i did not mean to judge.

A beautiful piece,
of myself you are, but still,
not the same standards.

Carmel colored Cancer,
seeping through my veins,
numb to pleasure,
on a physical plane.

Friendly fire free-for-all,
bittersweet sensation,
hear no, see no, speak no more,
consume without cessation.

Painting playful pictures,
impressed by my own mind,
feeling all, but everything,
and bury what i find.

hope no, care no, want no more,
breathe in what is inside,
without movement atop the water,
shifting only with the tide.

It’s hardly your fault:
the disappointment i have felt,
at your expense,
in relation to my self.

I fear i have made it too easy,
to delight or dissatisfy,
based on the potential,
in all human beings.

Pure possibility,
and in a realm,
where anything is,
and can be.

Like three steps down,
our relationship
has been one down,
after another,

and to think,
with all the love we had,
above all else,
i looked down.

As simple as:
breaking the threshold,
crown upon my head,
you scramble off his ****,

and why oh why,
cannot you be the one,
i never even cared for,
as i walk away.

How easy it would’ve been,
to ruin it from the beginning,
grant her the delight,
and give you up then,

and so i travel,
along the border waters,
the bears are coming in,
quickly they are coming in.

I noticed you through my window.
i was breathing,
you were leaving.

I wondered how to talk to you,
if i should leave a note on your car,
or if i should just wait.

Funny you should return,
your car near that same spot,
and that i might still be in my window;
just breathing.

I hadn’t once thought,
about your body against mine,
only millimeters of cloth,
in between our eternity.

That kiss; possibly the first one,
and the way it reached,
to the back of my mind,
and tickled my lips at the same time.

Our hips in line,
ready to roll, and tuck,
with the waves, and tides,
which brought us together.

No, not once had i thought,
about the love i’d feel,
in a state so serene,
when you visited me in my dream.

I’m nearly afraid to face,
that the state as of late,
i’ve been in;
MI or Wyoming,
is truly just a dream,
and i might have to wake up,
to this lonely bed again.

You’re heavier than a morning mist;
the sun is above; but only
its light, and none of its love.

i am still surrounded however,
by a feeling i’d love to keep forever,
as i see you in every direction i look,
and i know it is you; i will not be mistook.

We tread our own waters,
in each of our ways,
for now maybe shallows,
but by the end of the day,

We nestle up deep,
inside one another,
return to the surface,
only for air and for laughter.

You are the great unknown,
and i am the great explorer,
right now it’s very simple
right now we’re on the border.

Nothing separating,
not anything between us,
explorer also explored,
unknown and everything.

I didn’t say goodbye
when i left;
I only walked out,
Through your front door.

You were busy,
having words,
with your sister,
on the telephone.

Air was quite clear,
outside that door;
Sun shining brightly,
above.

No place to go,
without aim in sight,
but only to be;
needless of me.

Sold the deal,
as the door sealed,
and the lock clicked;
there is no more.

I killed a mother,
and the boy acting as her son.
After tangling her up in my whip
as she tried to do the same,
and inching my way closer,
closer to her face;
allowing me to see,
just who had thrown
that first blow.

I grabbed that mother,
by the back of her neck;
as she tangled herself further
into that rope,
and so i grabbed that little boy,
by the same scruff of skin,
and held them both,
so closely, yet in contempt.

The little boy,
might not have had much to do,
in all honesty, and reminded me
much of how I had seen my mother;
just moments ago;
before this malice broke out.

restrained and struggling,
they both fought with inevitable,
and i showed their struggling bodies;
still full of life,
to their reticent comrade,
and she did not do, but watched.

Closer i brought them to me;
now both tangled in that rope,
and squeeze i did;
so that nothing could squirm from my grasp.
By the back of their necks,
i managed to sever them both,
and died together did that mother,
and the boy acting as her son.

It’s not that I don’t want to,
enjoy your fine substances,
be them oral, or nasally ingested;
I believe I’ve had my share,

And the incessant smoke,
of all sorts of flavors and scents,
That too;
I have filled my lungs.

Strange plates,
full of material for delight,
make no sense,
to a belly that is full.

And how I would occupy,
a room full of company,
if only:
I hadn’t cut myself off.

I have tried these means,
and what good they have done,
but sorry i am,
for no better i feel.

Engaging your lust,
would befit a king,
if not for the harlem,
I gave away.

Indulging imagination,
might be a nice trip,
had not I taken,
the tour a few too many.

Give in to the ego,
only resort,
I just as "me,"
apparently not enough.

i am that which is lost in translation;
figures that don’t add up.
Each one has their own expression,
in a medium no others' use.

i am based in that which is not understood:
beyond the conceivable mind.
sprouting into observable matter,
but not limited to its physical ideals.

Everyone of us is a golden rod,
marked with a golden seal,
in a metaphysical aero plane
soaring above a mass continent-uity.

I come here looking,
mostly for you,
but looking nonetheless.

Not because i’m curious,
or interested even in the least,
but because i’m afraid.

My fear: of myself,
by myself, and ultimately,
for myself.

Of course I will find You,
everywhere; anywhere,
I look I will find You

If I only knew,
always that I would find You,
I wouldn’t come looking.

I had a dream about you,
we were doing wonderful things,
full of bliss and eternal ecstasy,
just as i know things would be.

I took the lives of some animals;
****** maybe, but sacred,
and we wore their beautiful skins,
to keep ourselves from the element.

You looked so eloquent in your furs.
The color had not changed a tint,
since I stripped them from that doe,
and mine felt so powerful,
to be wearing its head over my own.

I could have shed tears,
over how beautiful it was,
this vision i was having,
but alas it was just a dream.