The day you left,
I forgot how to write.
I forgot the way it feels to feel my fingers wrap around a pen
and pour emotions in black ink into a white abyss of nothingness
filling it with words so that it doesn’t seem so empty
so terrifyingly alone.
Do you remember my fear of wide open blank spaces,
both dark and light?
You told me that blank white nothingness
is what it feels like to be at the centre of a star
just as it is falling apart.
I’m so sorry
I didn’t believe you.
I am there now,
and I know you weren’t lying.

"Why did you stop writing?"
"He was my muse and when he left, he did not only took my heart, but he took the one thing that kept me sane, the desire to write."

I see you in pieces of everything.
I want to disconnect for a decade.
Imagine throwing my laptop in the ocean
and hope you’ll wash away with it.
But you won’t.
It would just be a waste of a great laptop.

I read the last paragraph of my favorite book.
I remind myself that some things I love end.
And that’s okay.
I eat sweets.
I text my mother
and tell her i'm losing my head
And she says,
“Are you eating chocolate?”
Because she knows I am.
This sugar addiction is hard to kick,
just like you.
You are a sweetness I know
is bad for me.

You were there, so commanding
Do I have a deep understanding?
Have I made Chopin my own?
Somewhere in this music that follows these notes,
Do I exist?

From a stranger,
To someone I can't stop thinking about.
I watched you turn into a friend,
While the clock ticks at twelve.
The nights turned us,
To strangers who happened,
To have just met.
(But no),
We never met.
We don't have a clue,
About a thing or two.

Night falls,
Crashing down around me and you.
Carrying out an unnecessary unromantic subplot,
Figuring things into this dim lighted screen on my hand.

to be continued.

I want to write like you
so bad my heart kind of hurts
I want to move mountains
the way you do with your words.

who is the real you

are you the boy who’s the nice one or

are you the man who conceals his feelings or

the puppet master of all around you

we all seem to have different perspectives of you

all so varied and diverse

so who is the real you

considering that you are a piece of art

a mind full of potential

a distinct presence

though a thing that is so inconsistent

What if I think I’m falling for you?
Would that be okay?
Would you smile at me
and want me too?
Or would you turn away?

Would you leave me here?
All alone?
Feeling quite broken
and alone?

If that is the case,
then I hope I am not!
With that conclusion,
is this worth a shot?

Ah, but what if WE
are meant to be?
Why not take a chance?
This could be a happy ending,
if you’d dare to dance this dance.

I know that this may be a risk,
but take my hand, let’s see.
Maybe the happiest ending yet
begins with “You and Me.”

You’re sitting across from me,
I see you,
but do you see me?

Because through my eyes,
you are an enigma.
It’s hard for me to ignore,
your intellect and charisma.

Into your mind I long to dissolve.
Together, I wish you and I could evolve.
because you are a riddle that I long to solve.

You make me feel things,
that I haven’t in a long while.
And when you’re sitting across from me,
I cannot help but to smile.

I’ve known for some time,
that I’ve had a crush on you.
But with these feelings,
I no longer know what to do.

You’re sitting across from me,
do you know of these feelings I hide?
You intrigue me, that I cannot deny.
Should I take a risk and put down my pride?
I just keep thinking, that maybe it’s not the right time.
Even though, in you I have come to trust and confide.

You’re sitting across from me,
I see you,
but do you see I?

I haven’t seen you cry before,
but I bet those bags have a novel attached to them.
I’ve never heard you complain once about your misfortunes,
they’re more like you’re kinda glad it’s you
because of how ****** up your relationships have become.
I haven’t been a great friend because I’m just a poet.
I’m in my feelings 24/7
and I notice the words and patterns of our typed slurs.
I haven’t been kind because you’ve talked to me in complete silence
understood every tear and sigh.
There are those who cry about being alive
and then there’s you.
Crying because life is slipping into the cracks that you’ve made in your reflection.
I’m sorry that love and misery came in a pair
when you fell into the blue of pastel colors.
You can live in my night time sky,
because what are friends for if not to be seem.

You promised me forever, yeah we were young but like a child I was excited for it. No one ever had my undivided attention, just you. Then one day you get up & decide to leave.. You walked away from it all without a scratch, not that i wanted you to be hurt, but i’m left in scars of false promises, meaningless comments, & old pictures that lost life. But i’m taking your advice, being selfish, & now i’m #1 at practically everything i do. I’m slowly getting through this but i can’t deny there are times i still had you here. But that’s ok, i’m doing ok without you & i hope you are too, fore all i’ve ever wanted was you to be happy.

Lift me out of the place
I'm in now.
Thinking about my mother
always drop me here,
abandon me clear below mania
into field of solid blue.
Maybe I should confess my condition,
request a lithium fix.
The Prozac has lately left me tossing and turning
well into the night.
Then, despite it's antidepressant buzz,
I'm tired from staying awake.

Sleep by day; wound up at night,
brain fighting my body's need for REM refreshment
I suppose I could ask for sleeping pills,
but they'd drop me way down into the blue,
maybe so deep
I could never crawl back up.
Or I could own up,
ask for lith,
but once I start, I can never stop.

May gusto akong isulat
isang kwentong hindi klaro
yung tipong pagbuklat mo ng libro
nakaguhit na sa mga letra ang gusto ko sayo

May gusto akong isulat
isang kantang wala  sa tiyempo
yung tipong pag-play sa radyo
siguradong makukuha ko ang atensyon mo

May gusto akong isulat
isang pelikulang walang pondo
yung tipong pag napanuod mo
matatawa ka na lang sa mga cheesy lines ko

May gusto akong isulat
isang tulang walang tugma at liriko
yung tipong pagbasa mo ng school paper niyo
nakalantad na ang damdamin ko

May gusto akong isulat
isang liham na maglalaman ng puso ko
yung tipong pagtanggap mo
maririnig mo na agad ang pagtibok nito.

<3

Perhaps you are lonely,
you told me once
and I danced along
to the echo of your
words and to the audience
applause at the backstage
of an abandoned theater
You see,
I have the knots of
an invisibility cape
tied around my neck
since birth, people
tend to walk through
me so I hide behind
walls
Lonely is
a graveyard inside
a void inside my
chest, where ghosts
exchange flower
thorns.
Lonely is
a state of mind
perhaps-
a table for one

The girl I had inside of me
Has left.
Now this body is just
A brain without mind.
A heart without blood.
And some skin without senses.
And every time she comes to visit,
I push her away.
This body is no longer a place,
Where she should stay.

You are twenty-two,
my heart tells me,
you have dreams to chase,
regrets to make,
challenges to face,
people to fall in love with,
and memories to create.

You are a person
worthy of love,
happiness,
respect,
and dignity.

But you’re not special,
TO ME.

The universe;
blend together into a pastiche of you,
of me,
of us.

Just escaped from reality
Tiptoeing to delusion's point of entry,
Pseudo-relationship with no fidelity,
Contented with a never scribed weepie.

Out of the blue it proliferated,
Warmth really not anticipated.
Feelings should remain in reticence
Peculiarity should persist as dense.

The brisk walk of solitude
Instigated the emotional interlude
Ambiguity is deceit
Thus confide to fate.

Frenzied by the inkling,
Agitated by hypothesizing
Make-believe misapprehension
Struck by realization

A full swing slap
Painfully filled the missing gap
Unmask the ambiguity
Then become a fool voluntarily

A momentary glee
Never merits it genuinely,
Seize it while it lasts,
Until it will be part of the past.

A leaked sanity
derived from a single unintentional stimulus
She immediately drowned in her illusions
A cascade of ecstatic emotional state
Led her to unexplained exhilarating lub-dubs
She entered a trance
An imaginary setting of pseudo-relationship,
originating from a deceptive analysis

Butterflies lodged in her stomach
Like drifting into the sweet tranquil breeze of fall
Odd feeling brought by an accidental impulse
an addictive sensation, continually sought
Like an ice cream that thaws
and never did she regret for this

Like a bud that delayed its bloom
She is a fixated lass
fast-tracked into maturity,
Depriving her of being subjected to adolescent giggles and anguishes
Coping for deficiency,
to undergo short-lived fascinations

It was never an ordinary night,
for it would happen only but annually
It was extraordinary
where angels descended from heaven

She looked at him
as a critical thinker *** philosopher inside a venerable physique
His intuitive notions flowed
keeping his cleverness inhibited,
ingenuity simply emanated
Decisive metaphorical analogies were mesmerizing,
in the depth of the gyros and sulcus
in his intellect she wanted to drown

The mystery of his smirks
she wanted to decipher.
In the profoundly of his personality
she wished to be familiar.

Electrocution!
Extreme voltage in her physique
sanity almost dripped
She cared less about reality,
forgetting about lucidity and rationality
A plethora of outlook insurgencies
led to confused convictions

Nothing big really happened,
just a matter of split seconds summarized as a simple skin-to-skin contact
an exhilarating interaction between epidermal layers
A premature ventricular contractions.

You can love someone who is not right for you
You can love someone but the timing won’t be right.

Who are you when you’re alone with your mind?
What are the truths that haunt you at night,
the skeletons that sing to you about the things you’ve given away?
Who were you before you were walked out on?

Free doesn’t rhyme with popularity,
But rhymes with see,
with your own eyes,
the person you were convinced to be
and how you’ve been deceived
and cynical
and unfeeling to a degree of destruction

We're parallel lines
seeing each other
hurting each other
even though never crossing over .

You’re the one calling the shots
You’re the one choosing that chaos
If your heart is breaking every single step of the way,
then you’re the one cracking it open.

The hero gets their heart broken
dreams stripped away from them
so they hit the road
reinvent themselves
And start over

Once upon a time,
there was a boy
who loved a girl
and her laughter
was a question
He wanna spend his whole life answering.

I am a desolate soul searching
the lost pieces of me
In the ghastly depths
Of the melancholy he left
when he broke the vow he made
in the sacred name of love

Be the most
Stubborn stain on a canvas
Darkened by worldliness
and greed
That a  pure
and innocent blot
Is there for all to see...