I'm as clever as a bag of wet cats when it comes to jokes
        dumb  as a stump
thick as a brick, dense as a sack of hammers
      accurate as a spastic
           as sharp as a **** heap
                    as refined as an oil spill
  elegant as a heap of a sot passed out spread-eagle  in some gutter

The fallow flags lull in a languid sway at half-staff
flaccid reminders for those who quickly forget
limp in the wind as faint as that day
commemoration of anniversaries' memorization's
plaintive anguished lamentations jeering at
the stuffy affected and tired testimonials
torpid, dense and  listless as  the President's third rehearsed
recited repeated languorous speech of the day