I'll resume the noiseless punishment
from your limbs, asymmetrical
I'll resume the elementary pessimism
less conversing, more concept
I, above you, that's all you'll obtain from me

I'll stay awake observing the clock
you wander back, protected within these walls
tangled lately, but then
without angst, a revered accolade
I, above you, that's all you've offered me

I'll resume the noiseless punishment
from your limbs, second to none
I'll resume the elementary pattern
less friends, more elbow room
the vein's deceit
don't tell my own story
the lifeless cell
don't tell my own story
and yearn for the remaining trouble

I'll resume a subtle exit
but I'm ignited, tempest-like
so I'll resume the noiseless punishment

-c.j.

why don't you just stay awhile?
the mundane will go by faster with you
yeah, we forget good won't majority-trump all
save just you and I
didn't we have this conversation before?
that is why de ja vu has been gnawing at me-
it really is discomforting
nevermind that, just stay awhile
help **** time while holding my hand

-c.j.

He didn't know what sylvania meant
But I knew it had something to do with forests
Something we learned in class last year
Despite your forgetting a definition made of wood,
Your mind is growing keener than one's should
I act all dry and logical as a cover to avoid the limelight, you confess
You're failing, then, I say
You're luminous

-c.j.

infrared, a shriek oddly pleasant
walls covered with candy wrappers from the parties and holidays
flares and photographs to revel in that bitterest night, so sweet
the queen forbade us from entering the kingdom
we ignored the demand
for though we are peasants we still see in colour

-cj

While I type to you about pigeons
and you talk about an article
with my subject's first syllable,
just spoken differently,
our walls crumble
a Berlin sight
Caught in the east, I am liberal
and arts
You claim to be only a sum of your parts
So here is me proving you wrong
Sending the lyrics to a trampled-down song
Eleventh hours soothe the night
Letting our minds get our breathing right
I'm sorry for my preoccupations
My lover, he was an alcoholic
I'm sorry for all of the poetry, too
Which probably only puzzles and bothers and unsanctifies you
It's the least, it's the most, it's the worst kind of best I can do
Underneath it all, my parts are few
So subtract and add and pull me apart
That way I'll know I own a tangible heart

-c.j.

I can't remember the last bath I had
Soaking in my filth, wanting to be left unequivocally alone
There have been similar instances, but none with the lukewarm water or dreaded departure

-cj

Do you know what I wish, she asks
He waits, she turns to him with the
speed of her irregular heart
I wish I was innocent, she says
After a minute he breathes and tells her,
You still are, in your desire to be

-c.j.

I suppose I wouldn't mind waking up to turquoise skies
painted outside the window
When I'm dreaming of you,
I sing to the mirror like I am serenading a paramour
but it is nonchalant, almost fearless,
with my voice still in a tumble of organs and sleepy phlegm,
finding its way out
My fingers turn the faucet on, and the sink streams water out with the slight whistle of the pipes in the background
It's the beginnings of morning,
in the sequence that those prime-coloured skies ensure

-cj

passive-aggressive
submissive-combative
the sirens of your toxic spirit encourage
competition that I cannot stand for
so I fall straight back again
my blood hiking up the thermometer
to boiling point

-c.j.

I want to spraypaint every chorus,
every note
every breath
There isn't room
Instead I embellish my mind's
synapses with them
and it keeps me alive
a little longer

-cj

Who knew one could rhyme with such ease
Surely the timing was merely a tease
To plot, to spot, to tumble down the parts, a feeling of locked up spirits and twisted smarts
If this is rocket science, hand me a pen, for a career in the space field I must sign to again

-cj

She wanted adventure
and she got conformity
She wanted romance
and she got apathy
She wanted beauty
and she got plainness
She wanted sleep
and she got decibels and light
She didn't want to sing
and her voice tainted the air
anyway

-cj

to break her heart you'll need more than a needle of course
a knife sharpened minutes ago can cut cleanly-
is that what you intend to make, a clean break?
it will hurt far more if you go halway
and stop
heartstrings taut, reminding onlookers of a harp
created by a blade trimmed keenly and sharp
to break her heart you must damage it but not
beyond repair
or else, you see, she'd simply get another one
this way it's stuck in her chest, unright,
mending each fibre until the ache is only
a phantom hurt
it will merely be a vague pang, eventually
you may sharpen your knife now

-c.j.

I was scared of it, scared of you
Did you know the shutters' shaking hymns
coming within me, they were all for you?
We learned to detect lies and speak and
cover our boxes with musical skin
Is this the end? No, we have yet to begin

-c.j.

parachutes and pens, bowler hats and belts
these are our symbols, watch them mean
mysterious to whomever spies on us
ambiguous; to bring analyses hundredfold
breeds pathetick arguments pertaining to
precious, altogether perfect, brimming
hands and books
light and weight, lay and wait
these are our metaphors, see their wavelengths
a weapon, a curse, a turning of the tables
and how utterly beautiful is it that no one
will ever understand them

-c.j.

there's a portable television showing a map
of the world with concerned voices behind it
reporters tell us to take it as it comes
and that every exit is now blocked
there's reason to run and there's reason to fear
as the news blares in pixels and decibels
and we bite our lips when we realise that
to run is human but to fear is divine
so until further notice we hide inside
pretending no bravery so our god will
save us in our weakest, most human moment
God watches the news too, don't you know

-c.j.

the hotter the water
the more it bites my skin
the less I think about
ugly conventions that
otherwise shroud my vision
a smoky vapour filters
and everything will work out

-c.j.

for your birthday I'll write you a novel
no surprises there, just acquiesce to my stories
of the street just east of Eden where we made our choice
notes resembling thoughts in the back of your head-
I'll release them, bring to life what you thought was dead

-c.j.

It rained this morning
It's very watery outside, I said
The black umbrella was my friend and the white skin beneath its shade remained in denial

-cj

I didn't want to drag myself along anymore
I wanted to open my eyes to this world everyone else knew about and maybe even lived in
One where the days weren't everests
One where the people dabbled in love without the consequences tied to their wrists
One where there was always a reason to be happy

-cj

Tug my sweater down, pinch the skin
that peeks, and I feel the bones beneath
that design me with edges
No roundness nor circles nor pi
A linear loveliness creates
straight shadows
I wonder if you are partial to me?

-cj

a cup transparent, a sight, a reflection
which one diverts like unbolted frames
in the air
a serene dawn will arrive
this vision is in a kaleidoscope lately

heat in sheets goes unfelt
this fear, it expands and loses, drowns and rests
a serene dawn will arrive
my serene dawn will

heat in sheets goes unfelt
until a pair of eyes out of the grey
pull confidence towards it
this juvenile center won't delay
it waltzes, forces me to dwell on
you're the brightest sun, the brightest shadow
it leads to me being in awe of you

-c.j.

May I see the rain, she asked the teacher politely
No, the teacher replied, the thunder in her voice
A frown and smothered protest
Nothing to quench the thirst but thoughts of drops, descending, bending time
A truly sad tale, to be remembered in every storm

-cj

author of these clumsy fictions-
dearly yours, on all fours
fighting attacking our young dreams
from corners tight, often alight
amour, oh traveling one,
fearful darling

-c.j.

once we reach our destination
we should talk about what we want
the hotel life always suited me
the walls held ghosts,
never empty
clinging to your arm as
my voice goes viral
each little mind knows it
like a cryptic song
surely that's not where it should belong
all over, pandemic, it's spreading
my voice is going viral
no secrets anymore

-c.j.

"Love is the everchanging spectrum of a lie"
It's a house, it's a façade
Turn up the volume to its maximum
Trees whisper clichés to me
It's a November sort of sorrow
Between a birthday and an anniversary of falling
(Temperature plummets as wishes suffocate)

-cj

bring in the party, bring in the arbitration
how else can a silhouette on her back not tarry?
bring in the secluded, request for you to connect
to her, slowly
believes only you

nothing surrounding will pay mind
nothing surrounding you
this line that you're tracing
is one stitched parallel for many
the edges, the lengths, flustering
I hope the terrors are concealed by my love

my love, love is the volatile scope of fiction
a façade to cling to when all is wrong
you come alive with pages and crooked fingers
can't you realise I'm fine?
the hazards of implying any lack of strength
just to blank on your birthday,
nothing surrounding

-c.j.

Morals clung to me and nipped at my shoulders more than I held onto them
Perhaps what is good and what is bad is undefined, at least in my little mind
He told me a bible on the ground was bad luck, and I laughed and squinted at pretend omens
Do you believe that, I asked when he muttered, in the beginning god created the heavens and the earth
I don't know, he said, and we knew that we both didn't particularly want to

-cj

I never could write a song
It was an unnatural endeavour, and
I wanted to, so much, but the notes
and words refused to stretch out of
the womb
Or at least knock the walls within to
give a hint as to what frivolities or
beauty I could put into the spaces
I tried to conjure up a melody, a rhyme
that wasn't wickedly elementary, but
all that came were impatient breaths
So I fumble with words and their
infinities instead

-cj

open your eyes, sense the sky rise
return to the origin now
if all I can ever do
is write of a select few
may the winds blow us back
to rescuing ourselves
it's a neverland
promises of youth were shattered
anyway, now we know
and I've got alot to show for it

-c.j.

So last night was a full moon
and tonight is a full moon
You know what that means?

The moon is an insomniac?

No, it means it is a blue moon

Are you trying to inspire me?

Inspire you to do what?

I don't know, list all the hues of blue
and paint our lunar friend?

-c.j.

Her mind and mouth reveal:
It was he who threw the rocks,
It was he who initiated our little balcony scene,
It was he who changed my eyes from
blind to seeing

-c.j.

if white truths and lies
were to cover our tracks
perhaps i would not care
to look back
the snow melted as the sun shone
for some reason
it reminded me of home
in that disastrous,
orange peeling way

-cj

Cold wars between our bodies
If kisses from better dreams
kept us waiting
Only the dim armistice we signed
(unconsciously)
divides us

-cj

waiting in the apartment, sitting on the low loveseat
windows of right before the eyes,
a mirror of what encircles this piece of home
entrance, shy and half-innocent
"you look swell," will you stay for long?

-cj

Leather jacket
Sitting in her room
Sorting through old records
The dust makes her sneeze
Driving through town
It's perfect like I never knew it

-cj

Can't believe the time has come to give the sun a long-awaited goodbye
Glints as lovely as her telling guilty truths,
Calmer habits to tame

-cj

the end of the semester matched with the cold
school was plain and the fields in our eyes
were white

we wrote essays on idealism for the A
planning with spontaneity
craving the warmth made;
snowless trees or eastern timber
the evitable obscured; thick, surreal, mouths
wit turned clueless, so to pretend
almost taken for imagined oaths expressing
willed waking

when wonder expels our innermosts,
forgiving our aforementions
pure window secrets connect the maps
stretched tight over each thought

-c.j.

How grand is the spectacular NOW
Its decibels and magnitude are
larger than the last and the next.
Oh, how fantastic is the present
Taunting and freezing and plagiarising
I'd **** for another grand NOW.

-cj

x's and o's
kiss me on the nose
lines, parallel and sound
make my eyes grow big
and round
stitched in ****** sequence
our segments overlap
something harmonious

-c.j.

I misplaced a haven that infatuated me
it melted as the thermometer throbbed
that exceptional part in the museum,
that envious balcony where we fawned
over its edge

do you see them? the shelves hold every colour
do you long for it? it's an intrinsic desire, yes, it is
it was the nirvana, the nirvana of time and its
enemies that you've just seen buried in books
return to it, return to it, you must

I'm done with tragedies, I'm done with the Montagues
see the crowd, crowd your thoughts
thrive on what you must
in the poetics of distance, it's never free
we won't sense the gaps until
some of our selves fall through

-c.j.

away, elsewhere, the silhouettes reel
I remember only what people say to me
so dash downtempo, everyone
so dash downtempo across the facts

our channels are made in another era
an unlocked corridor of collapsing symbols
suspicion, but my own
don't be the wolf that entices
soothes my wooded chorus
don't be the wolf that bites with strangers' teeth

in between rain and warmth and torrents and hail
no winter or summer to where my affections reside
but perhaps it isn't right yet
but perhaps it wasn't right for them to rip you up inside

nothing can fool a trembling symbol
suspicion, but my own
just let me rest in that perfect room again
we'll breathe together again

there could be better odds,
but I remember that omens
creep in and reign
don't be the "ever after"
another ****** beautiful hypnosis

-c.j.

attach a little close to-
resting lovely, so nervous
the loops secure you at my edge
above, in nooks, violet open
and shut for the sound

high and far, my light will lose
if yours is stolen
I'd hold the quarters

denser theory, buzzing fly,
straight plummet
my flighty fingers, technical shocks
designed for me

it was a shattered route
shifting sheets foremost
blustery notes tuck me away
over hushed aches, harms it
revolves around every whimper
takes my debating love across

attach a little close to this
seems years, leaves loops,
hearts burst,
stays apart
stays a fully strange one
attach a little close to a poem
that is closing

-c.j.

the first time we touched was
the coinciding of many lives
though I only felt purely my own
it may have been the crashing of
the hardest of hearts,
forming holograms that shine with infinity
but my heart felt soft as it finally reached yours,
and stayed there, finally home

-c.j.

I stay up
and in the eleventh hour
I eat my pulse
to shut it up

-cj

it's calm here without the metropolitan storm
the momentum has exited that tracks my steps
it's silent, too- give me this holy place
that the minutes you carry torches for aren't jilted
what's misplaced is here, it's wired, it perceives
I can't endure, I can't sleep
I did endure in a city's centre

-c.j.

He roams the city, she sits there
What a pity
He sees every light, every street, but justice does not shrink
For she sees every memory, every song, like film placed in her eyes that she couldn't push away

-cj

Human
Yes I'd like comfort
But I am a restless *******
All the same
Only human
Lightheaded, nightmareheaded,
Pale musician sleeper
Just a human

-cj

Stealing minutes from the hour to
summon some vain power
The fan blew, and mother knew
The facts were sad and blatant
Stay here, avoid the temptation
Resist it with every atom of your being
I am a skinny thief
Collecting weekends just to feel relief

-cj

I believe there is nothing more stagnant than the devil's work
I believe there is nothing prettier than brushing him off
be still, still my soul
do not move even if time tells you to

-c.j.