so you wanna play good cop, bad cop
I've got all you wanna know
thanks for the time out of your day spent on me
it means alot
retrace my steps just to satisfy you
claiming my innocence
but whatever I do
I end up being accused

-c.j.

blank stares and frayed jackets in a stale breeze
jumping fences because they told us not to
juvenile delinquents forced to read this book
only chapter nine
out of hundreds
the days bleed together in type

-c.j.

rather not say what's on my mind
but I like honesty I guess
you ruin everything you know
each hope you smother like
an unwanted flame
make me want to scream
you're the frustrater
I'm sick of being the victim
you're the perpetrator,
my twisted lover

-c.j.

taunt them with your ***** lips
kiss the calendar, each day will
taste your sheerness
sweet and wanting, alone in the room
tempting
let the tongues do the talking

-c.j.

swallowing pills just to feel alright
despite the fact that we stayed up
all night
flawed and mistaken
what we thought was true
turns out to be fiction
and all the people who were our friends
are now so cruel
is this what it is to be a restless youth
all reckless and unable to focus on
the lines ahead
swallowing pills just to see the light

-c.j.

these are the first words of a new song
I am sorry if I get them all wrong
my body is porcelain and my mind is
a house of cards
the wall is the law
and it's closing in

-c.j.

open your eyes, sense the sky rise
return to the origin now
if all I can ever do
is write of a select few
may the winds blow us back
to rescuing ourselves
it's a neverland
promises of youth were shattered
anyway, now we know
and I've got alot to show for it

-c.j.

what a shallow ending to such
a beautiful beginning, darling
we thought we could breathe
without lungs
underwater
I guess we learn the hardest way

what a comatose close to what
we started, darling
why don't you come close and
scream in my ear?
besides, your voice is all I hear
love dives into us
then leaks out of our mouths
we thought we were heading north
when really we were due south
our hearts have sunk to
the depths below
but they still hurt

-c.j.

quiet these days, she needs a little peace
sleeping until noon
no motive, no moon
dance until the glass breaks
and you find someone to join you
we've got all our wants
and I've got my needs

praying to the dawn
you're London and I'm Leeds
slipping out of time,
running out of reasons
to show up
we've all got intentions
and I forgot to mention
I've got needs

-c.j.

once we reach our destination
we should talk about what we want
the hotel life always suited me
the walls held ghosts,
never empty
clinging to your arm as
my voice goes viral
each little mind knows it
like a cryptic song
surely that's not where it should belong
all over, pandemic, it's spreading
my voice is going viral
no secrets anymore

-c.j.

yes, it was a mistake, not that
I'd admit that to you
but if it comes down to it
I'll sit in the chair
and I'll answer the questions
on Friday at five o'clock I was at Jenny's house
what time I left doesn't matter
I'm innocent, I swear
I ******* up before but the past
is in the past
can't someone see me?

-c.j.

suburban utopian nightmare
clutch to the strangest desires
if we give up right now
we know we're all *******
let's get out, go out
drive and not come home
no more killjoy, only the blaze
and chasing dreams
sour and put in the corner
don't be a killjoy, my sweet
the night's just begun

-c.j.

when you stare at me with those gem eyes
I get all laced inside,
hypnotized
moments that should last forever
gone before they see the sun
keep looking at me
your eyes are gems
with you I am complete

-c.j.

deny it, go ahead and try it
drink from that bitter cup
take your lips and sew them up
get all the help you can
drag your knees, now
the door only locks anyways,
it's never enough
it's a shock to your system
everyone's with them
you're left to sit in the cold
drag your knees, now
get all the help you can

-cj

I am staring at the bottom of this well
there is nothing to tell
I am sure of that as hell
I am staring so hard my eyes start to hurt
my bones are shaking and my case is breaking
what I really wonder is
are you convinced that this is all I'll ever be
are you convinced
are you
don't take me down
don't say it's off
don't be convinced

-c.j.