lemon

lemon Jan 2016

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I'd nearly forgotten about you
Two years is a long time when you're so young
Then
You liked that picture
And everything came flooding back

I am overwhelmed with sadness

lemon Jan 2016

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When you just feel like you need to throw up. Not physically. But emotionally.
Like you'd projectile ***** grief and self-hatred all over your walls but it won't come out.
Your throats closed up. You can barely breath and your vision is blurring.
Your heart pounds somewhere deep in the cavity of your chest, and with every pump it shakes your bones.
Your veins are filled with poison and your skin is fire.
Is this what dying feels like?

lemon Dec 2015

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Watch me die
choking, strangled
watch yourself stand there
not moving a finger

lemon Dec 2015

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I loved them
and you know how i know
because i feel this ignorant tightness in my chest every time i see them
and I feel this pointless emptiness every time i remember they never loved me back

but i guess you have it worse than me
as you got to know what their love felt like
and then you had to miss it

lemon Dec 2015

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I remember the last conversation we had
you were hurrying to get it over with
but i was taking in everything you said as slow as i could

I guess i just had a feeling it would be the last time

lemon Dec 2015

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I'm grasping on to any little bit of nothing to hold onto you
And my palms are sweaty and my fingers ache
but I can't let go yet

I'm not over it
or you
or whatever it is you pretended you were to me

lemon Dec 2015

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You hover over the send button
and think about all the people who don't want you anymore
and how they're one of those people