my fingers were marred and tethered to bumblebees
with all their will couldn't hold on to me
and i'm too full of anti-hydrogen and boundaries
and casted bones held together with pieces of tape
painted over like wood and thrown away
and all of my anger couldn't hold them
my eyesight could not commit
to little paintings on the walls
read deep into me when there's really
nothing at all
oceans filling your glass when
it's really nothing at all.

we dress our wounds
in sweet nocturnes
like pebbles in an hourglass
we shatter dreams in moonbeams
and fail to make these moments last
never speak to me in honesty
or drown me in your past
because i know, because i know
because i had always told you so
that atlas sleeps on soundless keeps
and shares his arms with the world.

wake up to my yesterdays and wait
for me to wander by, i'm there all the time
when you're not sure what to think
or if you're deserving of anything
i'm written in the roots of trees
and all the ugly little things
mushrooms from the rain that
dream to be clouds, and you always wished
they were proud of you
and i'm every little ghost in your broken home
the abandoned palace where parasites roam
and ask theirselves why as you ask yourself why
that you're loved, if they're loved.

and you're the second hand in my wristwatch
the clock towers that fail to spin you up
the raindrop on my windshield when i drive
but I've lost the will to stay alive.

you're the moments that i let slip
the glass i wrapped in aluminum foil
and placed in my broken fridge to spoil
why do i risk everything by risking nothing?
you were right. you're always right.

your shoulders shyly dream of collar bone wings
you're crowned
by the way willows bend at the words you sing
if this was our life, our nerves that clung to the page
and brace for each wound when you crawl out of the cage
would you bring me with you? i'm dying to breathe
again, to see again when i can't wake up from
this stethoscope mountainscape

pave me a new road, foreshadowing
and write down your yesterdays before they begin
all these tensions will **** us someday
in whispers that shiver and bring down kings
when will my poetry be more than just words,
and domino songs be felt and not heard?
pavilions of poetry
we're lost on pause with our clothes in their graves
spinning, and how we've lost count of our
futile accounts on the world we fail
to yet understand.
our fingers grow with the grass, it took my whole life
to feel it, but all my courage still amounts to a
fleck of melting snow, and I can't comprehend the way
your hands felt and how it happened
to me.

sickly sweet his muttered breath
stinking of rain and ***
nicotine that stuck to his sweat
                                      and monsters between his lips
                   they start to slip--

                                      casualties of carcinogens
                   sand paper made of tired skin
peeled away
sliced off
cut in
                   slipped away
                                                         --addictions forgotten how to stay
                                      their sweet poison the only company
                   and bittersweet, missed opportunities
and how you've slipped away from me.

                                      surprise, surprise.

There is a quiet blood that seeps
from the corners of my atria that
you are missing from.

I had four chambers wide yet
i could not hold you in one
you wanted to erase the line of your lips
from mine.

Torn from you it's a wonder
how these alveoli still do move
in not moving with the rhythm
of your breath (it wasn't enough--)

inhibition kept my lips sealed
but now i cry out for your touch
expectations had me reeled
but now have left me dry.

Do you think of me? I
am terrified it's not so
are you happier, are you
better off without me?

Please say no, no, (no!)
I never knew how much
I'd need you (I  need you),
the caress of your finger prints

against the walls we call
skin that I hide within.
You consume my mind in this
wonderful tsunami I'm ravaged in

yet you left me to drown
but my words had all left
and I am far gone, so silent
I am in a thousand mile aperture

that took me away from you.

when evergreen fades to brown
(i can't breathe without you now)
and sultry mist crosses arid hills
(the less it aches the more it kills)

the sting is bitter after it's sweet
(our hearts prove to be discrete)
like the energy to force a smile
(has been depleting for a while)

after you say we're over and done
(you used to tell me i'm the one)
you leave, and i leave the world behind
(but still it haunts my tattered mind)

your smile was bright but now it's gone
(and I meant nothing all along)
you said we needed to take the time
(but your lips proved it all a lie)

now some other foolish lover
(impaling me as i try to recover)
has your lips and hands and eyes
(but not for long as I surmise)

she'll break when you let her down
(in these bleak oceans that we drown)
and leave for another girl or boy
(another dream to build and then destroy)

so don't you ******* pity me
(you burnt my heart into debris)
when you're already keen to recommit--

(all your love was just *******.)