Once again the mainstream media manipulati
pulls the wool over the eyes of the mind-muddled masses
Too busy getting drunk on fear and distractions
to hear the distant laughter and see the smirk of satisfaction

Hey
can you see me waving?
That small white flag
flapping weakly in the wind
that's me, that is
A strangled cry in a cacophony
of human misery and ecstasy
but this is not a distress signal
but an admission of defeat
Life, you've got me beat
I'm unsteady on my feet
and ready to fall
into an endless sleep
someone come and pluck me out of this
hated consciousness
I'm ready to accept
That I'm nothing
and never have been
anything other than
a useless peice of meat

you lie
each time
you look at me
and inside
my pride
wants to kick the ****
out of me
for allowing myself
to be so pathetic
to believe
that anyone
could ever give me
something real
in this ever shifting world
how can I ever expect
to find something I can grip
something worth holding on to
something unbreakable
and true
I thought it was you
I thought it was them
See the pattern emerging
againandagain
It should've been me
but I'm empty you see
I'm all out of feelings
So just let me be

keeps on rolling like a cat with a ball of string,
unravelling, travelling seemingly endlessly
into infinity, until one day it just

those were the days
those halcyon days
all sepia tinted
under weird pink haze
we smiled at the camera
manufacturing lies
preserving the moment
with unblinking eyes
life becomes magnified
under a lens
but like a hipstamatic
it's all just pretense
just give me the blurs
and the eyes half closed
cause the truth starts there
not in the fake wooden pose

What the f**k's happening?
I'm 18 again, and nothing has changed
I'm in my room again,
Thinking of a family
Who've forgotten my name.
Cut out of the frame,
I wish someone would explain
You all look so guilty
Yet I still feel to blame.
Thought I was healed,
That I'd bled it all out,
Now I just want to scream
But I can't find my mouth.
Time is no healer
It only helps dull the pain,
Though the pain is no less
When it flares up again.
Have you come bearing answers
Or some salt for my wounds?
Either way, there's no hope of
Rebuilding these ruins.
I'm just picking up the peices
A bit at a time,
Building a wall
To keep you out of my mind.

i stare at photographs
until my eyes melt down my cheeks
i sit like this for hours
too overcome to sleep
it's like watching the dead rise up
and walk all over me
except they're so full of life
and it's me who's the zombie
thought i'd exorcised my demons
but they're back again
dancing around me in circles
trying to get back in
mocking me with glimpses of
what might have been
my childhood memories
are just a faded dream