I lay here now with tear streaked eyes
And with tear streaked eyes did realize
The words I speak are in my head
I'm going to die here in this bed.
He sits and waits, sits and watches
And on the glass his nails make notches
They pass the time and wait till it's right
He's going to **** me on this night.
He speaks no words and his mind is a blur
I know he moves but I've not seen him stir
Right now he's sitting outside my room
Waiting to bring me face-to-face with Doom.
His nails are long enough to cut me from there
Long enough to force me into a silent prayer
His skin is sickly gray and comes out in patches
And from his ****** scalp his hair detaches.
His body is long and very strung out
His frame is bruised and beat about
His eye sockets are a 'beautiful' scarlet
Beautiful if they weren't making me a target.
What made him stick to me is still a question
I've never even shown him any aggression
I've let him stay there and watch me sleep
But now he sits here and watches me weep.
He's my secret admirer, but no secret anymore
I thought his spirit was just folklore
Did my faith in his nonexistence make him stay?
Can my faith when he's here make him go away?
Apparently not, for now he's coming in
I lay here still with the moon showing his grin
He sits in the corner, watching me still,
I see now his teeth sharpened with a drill.
He's teasing me now, and I know this is not fair
I've got to keep quiet, I'm not consciously there
Maybe if I'm 'sleeping' he'll leave me alone
But I'm prolonging the inevitable, his eyes are locked to stone.
I'm not getting out- I've accepted this now,
But his pride in winning is not something I'll allow
You see, losing is not something I take lightly
And dying with him I will not do politely.
Now that I've seen this coming for a while
I've kept my escape hidden in a small little pile
I'm not getting out of here, and he can watch me as I die
I'd rather off myself than let him win, I won't lie.
I swallow the pills and he creeps towards the bed
He tilts up my chin and gets a good look at my head
I watch as his smile turns angry and frustrated
Because for all this time he's just sat and waited.
I've foiled his plan and I knew all along
Now I know he'll never be strong
Those shiny red eyes are the last thing I see
I've won, he's not gotten the best of me.

From this day forward, I promise that I
will wake up every morning and say to myself
these simple but important things:

a.
Today will be fragile
and the worst thing that could happen
is that it all comes crashing down.

But if it does, you'll have all these
little cracked pieces to kick around and
that's always fun and you know you're so
easily amused, aren't you?

Today will be very, very fragile
and by opening your eyes right now,
you're adding one more crack to the ones
that already exist, but guess what?

The worst thing that could happen is that
it all comes crashing down at your feet.

b.
There are people who need you.
Beautiful, wonderful people who should
be able to stand on their own, but they can't
because they're just as afraid as you are.

They've got dreams and fears just like you
(and they probably don't realize this, but
the same way they're leaning on you,
you're leaning on them and if either of you
lets go, you're both gonna fall and then where
will you be? I'll tell you: you'll be twice as broken
and three times as hurt as you were before.)

There are people who need you, I'll say,
beautiful, wonderful people,
the same ones who keep you sane and
should be able to support themselves but
they can't because unfortunately they're just as afraid as you are.

And it's your job to make them unafraid because no one
deserves the pain that you are in, not even you, no matter how
much you think that there's a reason for all that you feel.

c.
Good morning, beautiful.

Today you are a butterfly who cannot see
how beautiful her wings really are and
today you are a soldier fighting everything that
could possibly stand in your way and
today you will not frown or cry or feel like
everything is wrong because nothing really is.

Today you are more beautiful than you've ever thought
(although not quite as beautiful as you could be) and
more loved than you've ever really been
(although not as loved as you will be in the future) and
more intelligent than you've ever dreamed
(although not as intelligent as you used to be)
and all of that's okay, because all that matters is right now.

And today you may meet someone who will change your life
or today you may find someone who wants to hold your hand
or today you may make someone's day or save a life and you never know.

Good morning, beautiful, I'll say,
Go out there and make something
extraordinary
happen.

I'll miss you so much,
I'll miss you so bad,
The past three years to date,
Are the best I've ever had.

And while we are apart,
Of times together, we will dream,
And when we are so sep'rate,
I'll be bursting at the seams.

In this life, we are all placed
into a category from birth:
Alphas or Epsilons, firsts and lasts.

And the Alphas go on to live beautiful lives
with wonderful significant others and
successful children and
fulfilled dreams and
intelligent thoughts and
perfect luck.

And the Epsilons go on to live sub par lives
with average significant others and
delinquent children and
nonexistent dreams and
subservient thoughts and
no knowledge or experience of luck.

But Epsilons are so endearingly stupid
that you cannot help but feel sorry for them
and so we pretend to love them, we tell them
that they are special, that they are beautiful.

But there is nothing more dangerous than allowing
an Epsilon to have a sense of self-worth, of self-respect
because once they believe that they are more than the picture
you have painted of them, they will refuse you and your
inadequate "love".

Everyone falls for the Alphas, darling.
It's the natural order of things

And we, the Epsilons, we go on living
our insignificant,
sub par,
hopeless
little Epsilon lives.