At first. I wanted to be a doctor,6 years old imagining all the people I would help. Then I saw my mothers blood spewing out of her mouth and realized that I was not scared for her. I was just fascinated that my blood contained the same DNA of that coming out of her mouth, and now her nose
At first. I wanted a boyfriend so badly, coming into highschool and realizing that they were the latest trend. And then I was being pinned against a bed crying for friends who would never hear me. That never lasted long, but boys never do.
At first. I desperately wanted to love you, and then I saw how you cut human bodies and starve them so easily and don't feel and once of remorse.
At first. I thought god had given me the perfect body and mind to live out my days in, but now I'm thinking he will get it right next time.

There was you and there was me. "Separate yet equal" there was you and there was me. Disgusted by the thought of being equals. You were higher then I could ever be, floating above us all in the best way possible. I could see you indulging in your escape and loving the haze you had set for yourself over the world. The high you had lowers you from I. For reasons even I don't understand.

I am self righteous yet self conscious yet selfish person because I don't need to explain myself to anyone and maybe I'm embarrassed of my explanation of myself, but maybe I'm the only one who deserves to know the explanation.  
                               - S.M