and maybe
that's what drew me to
you
i spotted the suffering in
your glance
and the skeletons in your closet
clamor for a voice
to take their remains
and lay them to rest
once and for
all.

this mind of mine
is an endless
labyrinth
to hell
every turn is for the
worse
and if i try to yell
if i try to screech for
mercy
it only echoes inside
there is a thick wall of
hate
blocking my ears to even hear
the poor girl stuck
inside
rotting inside
dying
inside

your eyes are
imprinted
in the base of my skull
and with them
i see the sun

i don't want to lose you
but i don't want to lose myself
either
sadness is inevitable
baby
let me go home once and awhile

his hands are those
of a saint
and his body
just like a monsoon
conveys my sweet tangibility
and the world
doesn't even exist

you just
sit in your hell
thinking,
pondering the idea
of others happiness
trying to find a way
to feed off of theirs
their rightful sunshine
it's not like
you can array it from
yourself
you weren't born with
such talents
and you wonder
and you cry
cry as usual
like the routine
in which
you were first grown with
and you kind of wish
you really wish
things,
anything, really
got better in this difficult time

the thought
of you
grips onto my
skull
and leaves
signatures
in blood
to make sure
i suffer for the rest
of my days

take away all these feelings
of absurdness
bury me by their side
swallow whatever is left
of my light
I rather see you
glowing with radiance
that I could never
manifest

can you feel
that?
the agonizing empathy
which trickles
onto your injured disposition
and I hunger for your fidelity
i long for your embrace
for the melody in which
your colloquy becomes my
asylum

by the time
my mind has sprouted from all the
filth
you've already
spotted your next blossom
only waiting
for her petals to fall
as bad as mine did.

I am
the house
of many un-welcomed guests
they pollute
untruthful filth
leaving blotted stains
onto the floorboards
and smear
corrupt dreams all over the walls
giving an oh so very
languishing look
they always happen
to grab a frenzy of possessions
and never return them
sometimes
they drench the furniture
with lust,
cravings,
urges,
and ignite it for embers to spark
for just a short while
do they not sympathize
that it brings extreme
torment
to a wound that has been stitched up
an abundance of times?
all in all,
my drained distressed self
must get back on my feet
and reconstruct this hell,
once again.

the scent
you've smudged on my
skin
traces back to the hopeful past
only to be brought down
by the deprived present

you were only
a distant memory
a dreadful roller coaster
a disastrous putrid
why do you choose
to be a coward
like the rest of them
treading their cancers
and catastrophes
counting their corners
pushing their boundaries
hurting the innocent
torturing the troubled
we were all doomed
since the beginning
of high school.

I want to feel your breath
on my deprived skin
I want your voice
to echo into my ears
and influence all the
voices
to escape my mind
because it's your turn
to haunt my dreams

the way
you groped my flesh
stains deeply
and leaves a harsh bruise
into my veins

broken beat girl
breaks her *****
to rip her beating heart out
and stick it in someone else
to show how much she suffers.
disturbed distraught darkness
overflows the deep disillusioned mind
of her decorated brains
oozing depression
onto the happy friends
she doesn't deserve.
"sorry you guys."
"you're all I have."