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 Jun 2013 Sin
Lexi
Sufferings
 Jun 2013 Sin
Lexi
have you ever thought
why does the wind howl like wolves-
they have both lost their sanity
why does the sun shine like your eyes-
i'm beginning to think you are the sun itself
why does love feel like dying-
a slow, pleasurable death
and why
why do these words fly from my fingertips
i am not apt
i am not an exclusive fool whose life
can only be defined as study, breathe, listen
i am no poetic monstrosity
i am no ocean dwelling mirage
i am a fickle existence-
one of billions
and my thoughts on the wind
and the sun
and love
they are not new
they are recycled, unneeded
elusive-
at least i tell myself that as i cry to the moon
and see your eyes in the sun
and feel the stabs of love
attack me from all sides
i hear the whispers in my mind
'this is alright'
and i feel
godly
in my own sufferings.
 Jun 2013 Sin
Mercy
don't kiss me in the rain
the cool drops of water
remind me of the tears i shed
when i thought you'd never return
so please, don't kiss me in the rain

don't kiss me in the sunlight
it's shimmering rays
remind me of the light you radiated
when you spoke the words
'i love you'
and i was too scared to mutter them back
so please, don't kiss me in the sunlight

don't kiss me in the shadows
the crawling darkness
reminds me of the dark hands strangling me
when i tried to keep my depression a secret
so please, don't kiss me in the shadows

don't kiss me beneath the moon
it's brilliant contrast from the dark night sky
reminds me of how small and alone we are
and how alone i'd be without you
so please, don't kiss me beneath the moon

don't kiss me under the old oak tree
there were lovers once hung here
and souls that weeped from pain
their memories perpetrating our beings
almost making me wish
i had never met you at all
so please
just don't kiss me at all
 Jun 2013 Sin
verdnt
175/363
 Jun 2013 Sin
verdnt
everything is silent outside,
but the screaming in my soul
gets louder as the day drags
on, and by twilight there is nothing
but noise in my head,

today i woke up with chaos
in the crevices of my eyelids
and terror like a rumor in my
chest, my legs begging to be
set free, to run away as fast
as they possibly can, but
my body is a caged bird, and
my heart, is telling me to stay.
 Jun 2013 Sin
Raymond Johnson
to everyone I’ve ever loved

i.
you were the first
you taught me so much
i spent six years loving you
and you never loved me back
you taught me how to quit
how to give up
how to fail
my only wish is that i learned sooner

ii.
i never knew that a simple “thank you”
could hurt the same as cold steel
carving up my body

i offered you my heart
and you told me
i could keep it

iii.
i’m sorry


iv.
you’ve ruined me
to this day i still dream of you
i cry out from fitful sleep
and wake with your name upon my lips

every word I write
is a futile attempt
to relive the blissful moments
i spent in your presence

the distance between us
is an ocean of sorrow
and i
cannot
swim
 Jun 2013 Sin
breezeblocks
//

the air turns from icy, to being on the furge of suffocating
the flowers are opening, sun warming their petals
the birds are singing at the break of day
the sky is blue, a clear window to the invisble stars above
you breathe in and it's almost too much


and so it's spring, and you're in love with the idea of love
you move to a new city, a city that never sleeps
steam rising from coffee cups simultaniously
as lungs ache and hearts desire a soul
who they don't even know exists


you kiss a boy that tastes like mint and friday nights
you take him home and let him rough you up
waking to white sheets, soft skin
as the sun cast shadows over the room as it rises
and he becomes a stability you didn't know you needed
i love him so much help
 Jun 2013 Sin
breezeblocks
You're sixteen years old, and you know
                                             how to write an essay in under an hour. You know
           how many paragraphs you will need, and what part of a text you need to
                  rip apart,
                                        just so you can
                                put it back together like you want (need) it to be.


                             You've been alive for sixteen years and
                                                         you've smoked everything your parents
                                      told you not to,
                                                                ­       you've felt the ache in your lungs and
                                                                ­                 the burn at the back of your throat,
                                                         ­                                            you've woken up in pain and felt regret
                                                          ­                                    and you've made it passed that (mostly).


       You're sixteen years old and you know why half the world
                 is starving, but you don't know why you're not
        allowed to give them food, you don't know why
                                           your parents wont let you race
                                   across the world to (attempt to) save a starving child.


                                                   You've been alive for sixteen years and you know
     what it feels like to be left at the supermarket while your mother
                                rushes of to get 'another type of pasta'
             or 'just one more piece of fruit',
                                                      you learnt (learning) pretty early
                                      what being alone
                                                                ­     felt like.


                                                         ­                   You're sixteen years old and you've memorized
                           more songs than you probably should have
                                                                ­                                          and you fell in love
                              with the idea of love before
                                     you had even truly
                                                  felt it for yourself. One day, you promise,
                       you will escape (be at peace with) this body
                                                                ­                       you have been so unwillingly trapped in,
                                                                ­             you will visit cities you didn't even know existed
                                                        and watching sunrises with a stranger that you love,
                                  you will tear them apart,
                                                          ­                     pin them down,
                     forcing your love into their dying lungs.
 Jun 2013 Sin
Asphyxiophilia
We say the rain
Shouldn't fall
On our heads
Because it's an
Inconvenience,
But we fail to
Realize that its
Purpose far
Exceeds us.
 Jun 2013 Sin
Jordan Fox
Regress
 Jun 2013 Sin
Jordan Fox
I'll spend my entire day thinking of
all the things I could be doing.
I'll spend next year not doing
all the things I said I would.
Instead I'll keep looking into the future
and living in the past.
I say I'll get to it later
And it's sad that no one warned me that
life goes so fast.

— The End —